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What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

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Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#81

Post by everly »

"Lady, this case has cost the government thousands of dollars. It has been the top priority in our office for the last six weeks. We traced the glasses to your son from the prescription by examining the files of nearly every optometrist in San Diego." It apparently didn't occur to them that if I were a real Japanese spy, I might have brought the glasses with me from headquarters.

First of all, absolutely hilarious - second of all, pretty intrigued by the old-school, brute-force method that actually ended up working.

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#82

Post by grishka »

technothrasher wrote: post #67

"Here, fill it out again and don't mention that." I had the exact same experience when applying for a clearance while I was in college, for the "have you taken illegal drugs" question. When I honestly answered yes, the interviewer got fidgety and then asked, "well do you take them now?" no. "Do you know any drug users?" We're on a college campus, what would you like me to say? "Well, are you friends with any of them?…

My only experience with serious US government forms was applying for a tourist visa. This form also has some bonkers checkboxes like "do you plan to commit any crimes in the US".

Also the entry form they give you on your flight deserves a mention. This one has "did you handle livestock in the last X months" repeated like 3 times in different phrasing. Not as stupid as the first one, but... why? Why is that question that important in the first place? Pest control?

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#83

Post by jhart99 »

stingraycharles wrote: post #76
eloisius wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perjury

Exactly. So what is the best approach here? Ignore it? Pretend to be of good faith?

The guidelines have changed in the last couple of years. With the exception of certain agencies(FBI and DEA), drug use is evaluated with the surrounding circumstances. They treat I smoked pot once in college or I dealt pot or I am currently addicted to heroin differently.

The guidance these days is to tell the whole truth and describe the circumstances. Lying on the form will definitely disqualify you and a couple dumb things a few years ago won't necessarily.

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#85

Post by sixbrx »

skissane wrote: post #75
koliber wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> most people, after they've been grown-ups for a while, figure out that "find the winning lotto ticket on the sidewalk and get rich" True, but it's not completely bleak either. I once wanted to take out $40 from an ATM, and it gave me $60! I never told anyone and this is the first time I am sharing this. If a time comes to fill out a security clearance application, should this go in there? Moral of the story: it tak…

> True, but it's not completely bleak either. I once wanted to take out $40 from an ATM, and it gave me $60! One time, I wanted to take $40 out of an ATM, it gave me $80 instead. I checked my Internet banking - they had the ATM withdrawal at the expected location, but only for $40, which is all I’d asked for. Then, a few days later, I got another $40 debit transaction, but of a strange type I’d never seen before - it…

Many ATM's can actually detect that too much was given and report it as part of their communications protocol, it's called a "mis-dispense". Some used to even be configured to not allow opening the door to get the money on mis-dispense, requiring someone from the bank to come out to clear it. Source: I used to work on the bank software side of this communication, on IBM AS/400's.

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#87

Post by ahoho »

grishka wrote: post #82
technothrasher wrote: post #67

"Here, fill it out again and don't mention that." I had the exact same experience when applying for a clearance while I was in college, for the "have you taken illegal drugs" question. When I honestly answered yes, the interviewer got fidgety and then asked, "well do you take them now?" no. "Do you know any drug users?" We're on a college campus, what would you like me to say? "Well, are you friends with any of them?…

My only experience with serious US government forms was applying for a tourist visa. This form also has some bonkers checkboxes like "do you plan to commit any crimes in the US". Also the entry form they give you on your flight deserves a mention. This one has "did you handle livestock in the last X months" repeated like 3 times in different phrasing. Not as stupid as the first one, but... why? Why is that question t…

It’s about disease prevention (mad cow, avian flus, etc)

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#89

Post by ahtihn »

wnkrshm wrote: post #78
pram wrote: post #65

I had a TS/SCI clearance when I was in the military, and I don't even recall being interviewed. I filled out some background information form and months later I was unceremoniously informed I had received it. Maybe it's just more stringent for civilians?

They will investigate your background, whether you have any ties to family abroad by which you could be blackmailed etc. An acquaintance of mine (from East-Germany) had a US boyfriend who started to work for Lockheed - in the interview he was asked "Why doesn't your Eat-German girlfriend answer her phone?". She said she got some calls from an unknown number and didn't pick up. Edit: I meant Eastern Germany, after uni…

How did she know the call was from an unknown number as a normal person in East Germany in the 80s or earlier? (Ie when it was still called East Germany)

Re: What not to write on your security clearance form (1988)

#90

Post by airesearcher »

I often answer the doctor office intake questionnaires with a glaring mistake just to see if anyone checks. Where it says “have you ever been pregnant?” I answer yes. I also mark that I am a male. No doctor’s office has ever mentioned this to me after I turn in the forms.
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