YouTube Addiction

I think that's a great way of describing it. Watching "educational" content feels better or more productive than watching a Let's Play, but it's all basically empty entertainment -- the medium and the algorithm sort've necessitate it. Which is definitely not to say there's not awesome resources on youtube for actually learning things, but, for the most part, I'm not watching things that actually take mental effort. I'm more often just letting trash wash over me while also convincing myself that it's OK because "I'm learning" (even though whatever trivial factoid being discussed is immediately ejected from my brain when the next video starts)

I've realized that the internet has a numbing effect on me. It all washes over me until I feel absolutely nothing and I'm just mindlessly consuming. My ISP was recently down for a day, and it actually made life (at least temporarily) more interesting. Rather than just sitting in front of a screen and having content pumped into my veins, my SO and I had to leave the house to seek out things to do.

Then the internet came back and now we're both back on the drip.

This to me matches up most with gambling addiction. There is a great book on the subject that I recommend to the Author called "Addiction by Design" by Natasha Schull. The main thrust of her argument is that machine gambling addicts don't care about winning at all but have found gambling machines (slots, video poker mostly) as a reliable way to activate that "flow" state where the rest of the world falls away. It's mostly a study of the problem, very sobering, and there are some good resources at the end for getting help.

I think we're all addicted to this "flow" state. When it happens during programming it's the best feeling ever. Hours go by, no technical hurdle is too big, I can make more progress in 4 hours than 4 days of regular work, and everything just makes sense. I come out of it always wishing I could activate that feeling on command, but it never works reliably for productive things. Only vices, unfortunately.

Could you possibly do something similar?

I had to get that all together and done before I went, because the clinic is a 2.5 hour drive meaning it wasn't practical to spend a ton of time there.

The actual clinic time consisted of an interview that took ~2 hours and seveal tests. The only test I remember clearly was something called the CPT test, because I thought what they were asking me to do was actually impossible (don't press the X when it's shown).

After that I had a follow up virtual call a few weeks later to discuss the results and they provided me with a document about all the testing, results, and steps going forward. In their own words I have "severe inattentive ADHD".

My main issue is if you know exactly what to tell them of course you'll be diagnosed, it's not like a physical issue that you can't fake. Someone seeking a diagnoses just for drugs could easily have gotten it. Additionally it was a private clinic and I worry there was some incentive for them to provide the result they thought the client wanted.

When I was playing World of Warcraft too much, I decided that each time I saw a loading screen, I would do a small amount of pushups or sit ups. Nothing crazy. 5 or 10 or whatever. Less if I was tired, more if I was bored. It was a tiny physical barrier that made me think more cautiously about what it was that I was doing, and kind of "broke the loop" of the mindless activity I was doing.

Perhaps you could institute something similar. Each time you open a new tab, you do some sort of physical distraction that gets you out of your chair. If pushups and sit ups aren't your thing, it could be something as simple as "Get up from the computer and walk around the room for 20 seconds". If there are stairs in your house, you could walk up and down them once. If you don't have stairs, maybe you could put some resistance bands by a door in your house. You walk to that door, grab the bands, and do some resistance training for 5 to 10 seconds.

The thing that really helped it sink in for me was that it was something that was physically removing me from the computer. Moving away from the computer and then coming back helped to me see just how much time I was spending there. The soreness in my arms and core also helped reinforce how much energy was being devoted to the activity, too. It became a reminder that, "Yes, I have loaded into a lot of different zones today. What have I accomplished? In the game, I suppose I made a few gold or whatever, but for me the person outside of the game, what am I actually accomplishing? The point of the game is to have fun - am I still having fun? I started doing this workout stuff because I felt guilty about what I'm doing. Is that sense of guilt fun?"