Blockers on current work performance, and things you want to learn.
Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
141–150 of 287 posts
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#142Things that work for me:
1. Discuss with your manager if it's ok to cancel when you don't have anything to talk about. Sometimes it's all fine.
2. If you're unsure of what to speak about, ask the manager to bring up what he wants you to talk about. My current one always ask me to rate my "happiness" with things are going, I like it as a starting point.
3. Try to reframe how you see your complaints. Part of our jobs is to complain: to notice the problems and to bring them up to the ones with decision power to fix it. I try to always put my complaining in this light, both because I think it helps how others see me, but also because it helps me to identify better what is a genuine problem and what is just a personal annoyance.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#143Senior-but-not-staff engineer here. My manager and I keep a Trello board with a list of items to talk about including concerns, goals, projects to check in on, and so forth. It's keeping a pulse on how your relationship with your job is, and whether you are meeting or exceeding expectations.
Our 1-1s are typically 45 minutes but sometimes go longer and we have them every two weeks. OP, I would definitely ask your manager if you could change up the length and cadence if what you have isn't working for you.
We use them as a check-in on basically all aspects of my job: How is everything going, how is the team doing, how is the company doing, feedback in both directions, reviewing past performance + future goals. Put simply, if I have a formal performance review and am surprised by anything in it, especially anything negative, the 1-1s weren't doing their job.
But out of all of that, I think the absolute best way you can use your 1-1s, if you are ambitious, is to explicitly ask your manager: "Where is my performance relative to my current role, and to the role one level more senior than me? What do I need to do to progress in the direction of the latter?"
My manager and I have a spreadsheet where we track all the formal criteria written out for my role and the next role up, and my performance on each of those criteria. When all of the criteria for the role one level above mine read "meets" or "exceeds" expectations, it will be time for me to request a promotion, knowing I have clear evidence I have earned it. Simple as that. (We also keep a brag doc that's less formal but has specific concrete examples of good performance in it. Nothing wrong with "blowing your trumpet" in this context, at all.)
I very much like this system and it's worked for me well so far at my current job.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#144My experience is positive. I have 1:1 with my manager fortnightly for 1 hour. I am not a remote worker but I am remote from my manager so don't have water cooler chats during the week.
We have a template that we go through to ensure that anything can be tracked and also so we don't forget to cover anything. We don't have to cover everything in each 1:1 meeting, it is a guideline.
Importantly, I can also reach out to my manager directly for ad hoc things at any time.
We don't talk about the same things that are discussed in standup.
We do talk about my overall current and upcoming workload, any issues with my KPIs and how manager can help, any new company policies, my training goals, manager's training goals, what my plans are to take annual leave, as well as a generic "anything to discuss" section.
Then if time allows, we also chat about other things besides work.
The meeting is scheduled so isn't interrupting anything, and can be shifted around the calendar if there is high priority work happening. However we try hard to reschedule rather than skip it.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#145I'm a senior engineer, so let that color the content of my discussions.
First thing I talk about is project status. Usually this is just to catch them up, but it's also a test to see where he's at in his understanding of our successes and challenges. That opens up a conversation for the next stretch of road we think we'll build (aka what should we do next quarter).
Then we'll usually talk about whatever. Twice a year I make it a point to talk about promotions and what work they're doing to help me get there. I have this conversation because most managers believe promotion work is all your work until you're promoted, then they'll claim some subset of your success for their own. This pattern reminds them if they want me to grow, they need to invest and lay plans.
Next is mostly just personal stuff. My manager is pretty adept around home repairs and I'm still learning so I usually get some good ideas from him.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#146In brief: 1. What worries you? Not some blatant project stuff but bigger deal issues. "How do I learn enough here to make a lot more money in a few years" or "I don't understand how our product is going to make money in this environment". Stuff like that is probably on your mind in some way (unless you are an unthinking dolt, but you wouldn't be asking this if you were) - get it out there and gain perspective. 2. Bli…
Also add where you want to be career-wise so that they can support you in this.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#147Make it whatever you want it to be. This could include:
-- Asking about upcoming projects -- Asking about things happening in the business outside your group -- Sharing about tech that interests yo -- Discussion about his / her career goals and your own. -- Discussion about opportunities for long-term improvement in whatever you are building. -- Sportsball, social plans, and other chit chat
Basically, make it whatever you want and/or maybe even talk candidly and ask what they would like to see in your meetings so that you can come prepared and make the time worthwhile.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#148Do you prepare an agenda of topics you want to discuss?
I prefer 1:1's to be your time. If weekly is too frequently for that, you should be allowed to schedule it on a frequency that works better for your needs.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#149In brief: 1. What worries you? Not some blatant project stuff but bigger deal issues. "How do I learn enough here to make a lot more money in a few years" or "I don't understand how our product is going to make money in this environment". Stuff like that is probably on your mind in some way (unless you are an unthinking dolt, but you wouldn't be asking this if you were) - get it out there and gain perspective. 2. Bli…
Also add where you want to be career-wise so that they can support you in this.
What people want their career to be is often immature. It takes wisdom and experience to figure out what you should want. So coming into the conversation with that is limiting.
I'd rather get the manager to be a partner in helping me figure out what I should want.
Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?
#150In brief: 1. What worries you? Not some blatant project stuff but bigger deal issues. "How do I learn enough here to make a lot more money in a few years" or "I don't understand how our product is going to make money in this environment". Stuff like that is probably on your mind in some way (unless you are an unthinking dolt, but you wouldn't be asking this if you were) - get it out there and gain perspective. 2. Bli…
Also add where you want to be career-wise so that they can support you in this.
Very generic answer IMO. In practice, it gets pretty tiring and boring to talk about it after couple of meetings with manager and bringing it up in every weekly 1:1 will have your manager avoid/cancel meetings with you. I tried following this generic advice and noticed it hurts more than it does good.