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Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#111

Post by Jenk »

As a manager, I use it as an opportunity to review objectives (the objectives themselves, not the employee so much - i.e. are they still relevant, achievable, etc - or should they be changed), and let my staff speak candidly with me about whatever they want. Sometimes this is strictly work related things like discussing improvements or them chasing updates on initiatives that they don't think have enough focus/visibility, etc. Other times it can be just watercooler talk or other rapport maintenance. I maintain a tracker for topics we discuss so I don't forget them, and can check in on them in the next 121(s). Also lets me keep notes and schedule time for actions I need to take to support, escalate, prioritise, etc. Often I'll ask pointed questions to really indicate the level of candidacy I'm prepared to let them go to - e.g., how's my management? What's your mood on those Sunday evenings when you realise tomorrow is monday? etc.

As an employee, I use it as an opportunity to discuss (demand) a reshape of my own objectives in response to emerging/evolving work, discuss what I want in form of support, and candidly discuss things I've heard on the grapevine but am not prepared to discuss with a wider audience. I also use it as a place to ask the possibly "dumb" questions and observations that I don't know if I want my peers hearing just yet. I'm also senior enough that I have confidential projects and knowledge I am prohibited from sharing so this is my one place to blab safely.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#112

Post by Galxeagle »

Use 1:1s to talk about things you can't talk about in a group setting. I tend to use them for two main things: organizational gossip and negotiation.

Often times managers have much richer insight in to other managers or where the department is going, but would be unprofessional to share that candidly with a whole team. Getting some unvarnished perspective has been seriously helpful for me to understand what's coming or learn how to 'play the politics'

Similarly they've been useful for me to practice some gentle negotiation - 'what do I have to do/show to get x on my year-end review' or 'I'm looking for x raise, how can I build a business case to convince you'. Whether or not they say yes right away, it's always insightful as to how the performance review system really works.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#114

Post by OJFord »

canadaduane wrote: post #102
ryanSrich wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> They only serve to make a manager feel like they know what everyone is doing, all the time. As a manager, I DESPISED doing 1v1s at my old company. We don't do them at my new company. It's an incredible waste of time. Create a culture that allows employees to come to you when THEY need to. If this isn't within the realm of possibility, at least make 1v1s optional for employees that just don't have anything to discus…

I laughed a bit when you wrote "1v1" because it made me think of a video game where you're matched with a suitably leveled enemy player. (I don't know how others pronounce "1:1" but I pronounce it "1 on 1").

I read it as 'one to one', like a ratio. Also one person talking to one other.

Interesting though, and now you say it I realise the submitter also wrote '1-on-1s'.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#115

Post by csmpltn »

If you don't have anything to say, why not simply start the conversation with "I don't have much to talk about today. I could give you a quick update on my progress since last week. Is there anything you would like to take up first?"

If there's nothing else to talk about 5 minutes into the meeting, just end with "I don't have much more to talk about today. Let's meet again next time?"

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#116

Post by smcleod »

In our company - while we all have varying skills and experience levels - we are all peers - we don't have managers.

As such we 'guide' each other, being a guide for our peers is opt-in but everyone has a guide.

This is by _far_ both the most effective and natural process I've ever experienced, and my peers seem to feel the same way.

I have three folks I that I guide.

I have a 20-60 minute one on one VC with each of them roughly every 2 to 3 weeks.

We all talk to each other more frequently than that on Slack so the feedback cycle for anything important doesn't ever need to take that long.

If they don't feel like having a catch-up that day I'll happily move it for them (for example shift it forward a week), but we do have at least one a month and sometimes two.

With new starters and less experienced engineers I like to start at a higher frequency for less time, e.g. twice in the first and second weeks, then weekly for a month etc...

We do a 360 / self and peer review every 3 to 6 months - this mainly involves sending out a small survey to people we've been working with I given project/client to ask for their feedback.

If anyone wants to shift who they're peered up with that is absolutely fine (and encouraged).

Everyone who wishes to guide others meets up (virtually) for a general sync and sometimes some training / educational talks once a month.

We maintain a handbook / guide to being a guide on our wiki.

Topics of conversation are mostly organic but the common themes are:

- How's life?

- How's the project / product you're working on at the moment?

- How's your work / life balance?

- Anything you need extra support with (that you haven't already raised throughout the week)?

- Are you planning to join/attend any of these (meetup/talk/Brownbag etc...) this week/month?

- You're due to send out a 360 to your peers in the next X weeks, do you have any questions about doing so?

- What are you watching/listening to at the moment?

- General discussion on any shared hobbies / interests.

Etc...

As someone whose worked in tech for 17~ years - this method really is pretty great when most others have been more of a pain than value add.

For reference the company is a (modern) tech consultancy, with a size currently around 750, mostly engineers / developers of varying specialities, it seems to scale very well and operates pretty much the same as 3 years ago when we only had around 200.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#118

Post by SoftTalker »

massysett wrote: post #90
SoftTalker wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a manager how can you not know what your staff is doing at any given time? I've worked in some places where developers chose their own stories but we had morning standups to communicate what we were working on.

We don't have morning standups. Why is a 1:1 a waste of time, but a morning standup isn't?

Yeah morning standups are not great either TBH but more efficient than a manager trying to gatekeep and broker information via 1:1s with each developer.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#119

Post by swframe2 »

I think you should look for a manager that gives you actionable advice that allows you to have large impact. Some people think that it is your job to figure out how to have large impact (which I agree) but I have found that there are managers who don't care, don't know or who want to keep you working on projects that will not have impact. I strongly recommended networking (reaching out to coworkers to learn how much their managers are giving them specific and concrete direction) to find the managers that care enough to proactively improve the careers of their reports. Then you want to transfer to those managers. It is a total waste of time to manage your manager. If your manager isn't telling you how to get promoted then you should find another manager.

Re: Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

#120

Post by OJFord »

massysett wrote: post #90
SoftTalker wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a manager how can you not know what your staff is doing at any given time? I've worked in some places where developers chose their own stories but we had morning standups to communicate what we were working on.

We don't have morning standups. Why is a 1:1 a waste of time, but a morning standup isn't?

For me, as a non-manager IC, I find it a complete waste of time. Unless I actually had an issue, but I'd rather not sit on an issue waiting for stand-up, and only would if it were close and I wanted to have something to say.

But managers, or at least the one that replied when I mentioned the above once, seem to like them, here what everyone's doing all at once ... Without having to read Jira titles themselves I suppose.

Perhaps ideal then would be some kind of Slack bot/app where everyone has to submit a quick video or voice clip once a day, and it queues them all up to play at whatever time the next day/stand-up period the manager wants the report.

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