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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#331

Post by maccard »

AceJohnny2 wrote: post #272
maccard wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Carmack, it seems, was comfortable with not being paid back. That's not how I read the tweet, at all. > It was a learning experience for me, calibrating some general people behavior. I don’t think anyone intended to not pay me back, but things often just don’t work out the way you plan

Ah yes, on second read, your interpretation seems better. Decades of practice and I feel like my reading comprehension just gets worse :(

Nah, reading is hard, particularly when nuance is distilled into 280 characters. Only way we'll ever know is to ask Carmack himself I guess

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#332

Post by hjm »

fragmede wrote: post #295
gowld wrote: post #227

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you read the tweet? It seems pretty clear that he knew that getting paid back wasn't very highly probable, and he learned about how recipients handle that.

More to the point, Carmack was comfortable - had a house and was able to put food on the table for his loved ones - without being paid back. It's possible that, contrary to what that tweet says, Carmack demanded (his) money (back). By Western measures, however, he's still comfortable without being paid back.

>It's possible that, contrary to what that tweet says, Carmack demanded (his) money (back)

Nah, he's not like that.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#333

Post by checkyoursudo »

bungeonsBaggins wrote: post #311
t0suj4 wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not expecting anything in return has definitely made me happier. It's on the borrower to worry about paying me back. Me, I don't care.

How does this work in practice, though? I don't know how this would be possible at all. I have loaned money to family members in the past, and been paid back when they were back on their feet. But if a friend or family member borrowed money and never paid it back, even after they were over their financial difficulties, and never mentioned it or made any effort to repay the loan, it would certainly affect my opinion o…

Why would I expect a friend whom I value to repay me? I have given, both in gifts and loans both implicit and explicit, much of myself, my time, my money, my worldly possessions over the years. If I held non-repayment against them, I think that would say more about me than about my friend.

A non-friend? Sure, that might be different.

Anyone can be forgiven of anything, if you are so inclined. No "signalling" required.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#334

Post by latchkey »

reducesuffering wrote: post #310
latchkey wrote: post #167

Years ago, I had the crazy/stupid opportunity to start a night club in San Francisco. My dad said it would be a terrible idea, the business was hard, etc... but he also said he would help me out. Go dad, I'm lucky to have him. He had a piece of property that we could get a loan against, so we found a mortgage company that would give us the loan and went ahead. Well, he was totally right, after years of trying, the bu…

Reminds me of how Jamie Zawinski (jwz), the creator of Netscape Navigator and Mozilla, has been struggling to keep DNA Lounge in SF afloat for a couple decades. Dude could've been obscenely rich, but his personality isn't for that and it's obviously a tough passion project.

Yes, my venue was on the same street and I went through a lot of the same/similar drama that he has made very public as well as some other drama that is a book worth of story time.

If I had instead invested my dads money in say... property in the east bay (at the time, it was pretty low compared with today), then I would have been 'rich' as well. Live and learn.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#335

Post by latchkey »

poisonarena wrote: post #326
latchkey wrote: post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd love to know how that relates to the story first.

i used to DJ in SF a decade ago

I got downvoted for my response asking for clarification, classic HN.

My tenure was more than a decade ago, but the space was on 11th and folsom and has brick walls on the inside. The space next to the corner venue. It has been several different venues since I had it.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#336

Post by Consultant32452 »

roflyear wrote: post #285
Consultant32452 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's an efficient and polite way of determining if your "loan" actually helps them, or they are going to be a bottomless pit of misery and $ requests. If the loan helps them, they will be able to pay it back and all will be well. If it doesn't help them, then there's likely no value in giving them more money. If you want be charitable, there's certainly more efficient ways than giving free money to random people who…

It's super inefficient, and it's absolutely not polite.

You loan someone money not expecting them to pay it back, you never bring it up or bother them, they decide to leave your life forever. You are the bad guy. Only on the internet.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#337

Post by roflyear »

Consultant32452 wrote: post #336
roflyear wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's super inefficient, and it's absolutely not polite.

You loan someone money not expecting them to pay it back, you never bring it up or bother them, they decide to leave your life forever. You are the bad guy. Only on the internet.

No... if you have some messed up system that involved that process to filter people from your life, you're the bad guy, yeah. Not just on the internet, either.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#338

Post by n4r9 »

Dig1t wrote: post #82
monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." -Shakespear I've just followed this my entire life and it has served me very well. Other than a mortgage, I never borrow, and other than family emergencies, I never lend.

Worth noting that this quotation is spoken by Polonius in Hamlet. According to Wikipedia:

> He is chief counsellor of the play's ultimate villain, Claudius, and the father of Laertes and Ophelia. Generally regarded as wrong in every judgment he makes over the course of the play, Polonius is described by William Hazlitt as a "sincere" father, but also "a busy-body, [who] is accordingly officious, garrulous, and impertinent".

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#339

Post by poisonarena »

latchkey wrote: post #335
poisonarena wrote: post #326

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i used to DJ in SF a decade ago

I got downvoted for my response asking for clarification, classic HN. My tenure was more than a decade ago, but the space was on 11th and folsom and has brick walls on the inside. The space next to the corner venue. It has been several different venues since I had it.

ahh I guess mine too, I was DJ'ing/LivePA from 2008-2011 at clubs all over SF. Seems like a lifetime ago. Was also the doorguy/email boy at Vessel SF when it existed. Was a really fun time to be in SF, I had a room at 16th + mission for 450 a month. I got to experience so many different types of weird nightclub culture, every from live electronic music, to weird burning man crowds, gay italo disco parties, hip hop/turntablism, marina and bridge and tunnel crowds at the mega clubs, and everything in between. I really enjoyed it all!

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#340

Post by kybernetikos »

alach11 wrote: post #93

I loaned a close college friend $7000 last year. Due to life circumstances and lack of family resources, he was stuck in a rural area with no developer jobs. He was having trouble landing a remote job and I ignorantly asked why he wasn’t applying to in-person jobs on the west coast. He told me that he certainly wouldn’t be able to afford to move and I told him “don’t let that stop you”. Fronting him moving expenses w…

One area of difference here might be that he didn't ask you for the loan, you suggested it. Also, the fact that the loan was specifically to make significantly more money than he'd ever had before meant that it would be easier to repay if it worked out.
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