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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#71
post #11

I'm surprised American McGee hasn't paid him back prior to this. I always assumed that McGee was more successful than he apparently was. Probably due to him putting his name in front of the game's title.

Considering stress / "crunch mode" lifestyle of game development, maybe McGee hasn't felt truly comfortable enough to repay the debt until he got out of the industry.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#72
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would telling them to go fuck themselves not be cheaper and easier? Edit: I don’t have fuck you money, so I am actually ignorant of the dynamic you’re describing. I’d rather be known as an asshole with backbone than a rich sap though. One of those looks more like a mark than the other.

Yep, especially since leeches come asking for more and more. And I understand if it's a sick kid or some other kind of an emergency... but people overstretch for luxuries.

This is certainly from my religious tradition and won't work for everyone but I consider it a blessing and a freedom that such discernment is not required of me:

> when you see on earth the man who has encountered the shipwreck of poverty, do not judge him, do not seek an account of his life, but free him from his misfortune. Why do you make trouble for yourself? God has excused you from all officiousness and meddlesomeness. How much most of us would complain, if God had bidden us first to examine each person's life exactly, to interfere with his behavior and his deeds, and only then to give alms? But as it is we are freed from all this kind of annoyance. A judge is one thing, an almsgiver is another.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#73
post #35
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is so surreal to me. I had to loan money from friends for real emergencies and always made sure they get paid - often more than they gave. How can one not be guilt-ridden until their deathbed?

If you're struggling, and get $1000 from someone who made $100M on crypto, would you be in a hurry to pay them back, or even care at all?

Some people don't like to borrow money. For such people, it's usually not about whether the lender needs the money back, it's about how they see themselves.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#74

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

Similar thing happened to me. I had a roommate who regularly needed a loan for rent. They eventually descended into drug use and chaos and we wanted them out of the house. They kept missing their supposed move-out dates, so I offered to cancel out their ~$5k in debt if they were out on a certain date.

Keep in mind I was unable to afford groceries many of these months.

In the end, they cleared out on that date and I never heard from them again. Even though we were quite close at one time.

Money well spent really.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#75
>"...making plushies..."

Sometimes in the 90s I had a software product. It so happened that there were competitors for the same very niche market right here in Toronto - tiny company of 3 people. So they came to me with the offer to sell them a product and start working for them. The money offered was absolute peanuts, so was the salary proposed. Obviously I refused. 2 years after they called me back again and asked for a meeting. I assumed that they've probably come to their senses and had agreed to meet even though I was already employed with 6 figures.

Now the depressing part. They came and tried to pitch to me some bullshit (snake oil type) products to sell. Basically they went to multilevel marketing. I did not like it at all.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#76

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

[deleted]

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#77

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

Instead of rewarding the antisocial behavior and therefore causing it to happen more frequently, albeit to other people, I would recommend one of these: - "I'm sorry but I've lost my job. I cannot afford this." - "I'm sorry but no means no." - If they insist: "Which part of the two letters in 'No' do you not understand?" You aren't the jerk. Someone who doesn't accept "no" is the jerk. There's places to go to to lend…

Nothing is your job except your job, but how impoverished would your life, family and your community be if everyone stuck to strictly that?

You might be right on the specifics in this case, I'll abstain from making judgement. But as a guideline, as a framework, "it's not your job" is monstrously insufficient.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#78
post #9

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

Would telling them to go fuck themselves not be cheaper and easier? Edit: I don’t have fuck you money, so I am actually ignorant of the dynamic you’re describing. I’d rather be known as an asshole with backbone than a rich sap though. One of those looks more like a mark than the other.

This has less to do with having money and more to do with understanding whether the person asking actually values you and your generosity regardless of their ability to pay.

It's unfortunate that some people seem incapable of feeling guilty. They have a victim mentality which only gets worse whenever people don't do anything nice for them.

If they're redeemable there is a point where you give them so much that they finally escape their problems and their attitude improves. Sadly this doesn't always happen and it doesn't always last.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#80
post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're struggling, and get $1000 from someone who made $100M on crypto, would you be in a hurry to pay them back, or even care at all?

I'd honestly hope that person wouldn't make it seem like it is a loan. I'd hope they just said "hey, here's money." Seems like a major jerk move to structure the "loan" in a way where you remove these people from your life.

Sorry to say, but not everyone you meet is worth keeping in your life. This is just one way of filtering the people who aren't worth keeping, out. Those that are worth keeping, and really are just temporarily down on their luck, will repay the loan and continue interacting with this person, none the wiser.
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