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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#61

Post by winphone1974 »

fdye wrote: post #31
monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

Same. Several years ago I had an ex-GF of sorts reach out to me in SF. She was passing through and wanted to say hi, etc. I had a couple hours before my shift at a bar I worked at so I swung by where she was, bought her a drink, etc. Immediately could tell she was in a bad place, looked like her occasional drug use had become a permanent, more hard kind. About halfway through the drink was a clumsy come on and a push…

This is not the standard I can tell you, lend $40, 100 or more to someone, especially with an addiction problem and you see them the next time they need more. You're now the easiest path forward. same thing happens when you over-help someone at work so their job.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#62

Post by inwit »

monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

[flagged]

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#63

Post by SubuSS »

I think you should pick friends rather than choose whether you loan or not.

I’ve never loaned money to folks who I don’t have a strong relationship with. Extended Family has found this out the hard way. On the other hand - I’ve never thought twice about money transactions with closer friends. Obviously they value the relationship the same as I do. I’ve had friends loan me 5 digits for a couple of days because my Schwab didn’t settle in time and I wanted to close a property. We’ve have done so many vacations with friends where thousands are transacted and settled. It seems weird that you’d special case money alone.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#64

Post by hayd »

okasaki wrote: post #35
zahrc wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is so surreal to me. I had to loan money from friends for real emergencies and always made sure they get paid - often more than they gave. How can one not be guilt-ridden until their deathbed?

If you're struggling, and get $1000 from someone who made $100M on crypto, would you be in a hurry to pay them back, or even care at all?

> get $1000 from someone

It's not "get" if it's a loan.

The IRS might also be interested if you treat this a taxable gift rather than a loan... (unlikely they'd care for $1000).

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#65

Post by bena »

pyb wrote: post #20
bena wrote: post #11

I'm surprised American McGee hasn't paid him back prior to this. I always assumed that McGee was more successful than he apparently was. Probably due to him putting his name in front of the game's title.

Sounds like McGee might not have got his fair share of Id's success. Maybe Carmack felt bad about that.

Eh. He was a junior designer when he was fired. And if Carmack felt bad about how McGee was being treated at the company Carmack owned, he could have done a lot more about that.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#66

Post by Juliate »

zahrc wrote: post #8
monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

That is so surreal to me. I had to loan money from friends for real emergencies and always made sure they get paid - often more than they gave. How can one not be guilt-ridden until their deathbed?

It's peculiar. Some people sometimes kind of resent those that saw their weakness, responded to it and helped them.

Misplaced pride? Or lack of self-awareness and acceptation of their shortcomings? Guilt that builds upon itself (where just talking about it first could ... just clear things up)?

Or they don't know/understand/weren't explained how to repay it (even if that's as simple as just paying back, or only saying "thanks"). Social rituals definitely help here.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#67

Post by winphone1974 »

postalrat wrote: post #19
mikrl wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would telling them to go fuck themselves not be cheaper and easier? Edit: I don’t have fuck you money, so I am actually ignorant of the dynamic you’re describing. I’d rather be known as an asshole with backbone than a rich sap though. One of those looks more like a mark than the other.

Do you often consider friends and family as rich saps or marks?

You shouldn't loan money to those people though, just give it without expectation of repayment.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#69

Post by Consultant32452 »

roflyear wrote: post #41
okasaki wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you're struggling, and get $1000 from someone who made $100M on crypto, would you be in a hurry to pay them back, or even care at all?

I'd honestly hope that person wouldn't make it seem like it is a loan. I'd hope they just said "hey, here's money." Seems like a major jerk move to structure the "loan" in a way where you remove these people from your life.

It's an efficient and polite way of determining if your "loan" actually helps them, or they are going to be a bottomless pit of misery and $ requests. If the loan helps them, they will be able to pay it back and all will be well. If it doesn't help them, then there's likely no value in giving them more money.

If you want be charitable, there's certainly more efficient ways than giving free money to random people who ask you.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#70

Post by ethbr0 »

danuker wrote: post #23
zahrc wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is so surreal to me. I had to loan money from friends for real emergencies and always made sure they get paid - often more than they gave. How can one not be guilt-ridden until their deathbed?

There exist sociopaths and utility monsters.

Or, at the most charitable, people in really bad places (either by choices or bad luck)... and are doing what they need to get by.

And honestly, habitually soliciting money from friends shares a lot of similarities with using venture capital -- the reasoning that it's better to explode with someone else's money than your own.

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