Kids and music lessons: why do many promising players quit early?

100% agree. You need something motivating to push through the wall of sucking. And it can fluctuate throughout life.

I was a drummer. I was first attracted to the status of it - it was the only instrument in our school band that you needed to try out for. I didn't make the first cut, so I got lessons, then I made it next year. I kept the lessons for a while, but at some point I got bored and stopped lessons - there were only so many paradiddle variations I wanted to learn. There was no vision for me anymore.

Then, I got into rock music and thought that looked awesome, and I had a burst of new motivation that lasted for several years through college.

Then I accepted I wasn't going to be a famous rock drummer (or at least, the opportunity cost vs other things was no longer looking worth it), and shifted my time toward other things in life.

I like the idea of trying a different instrument. I know I would suck for a while so I haven't committed to it. Maybe when my kid gets older that would provide more motivation to bond with him.

You do go back down to 0, but you can run up that escalator pretty damn fast

> The final piece I learned with any aplomb was Mozart’s Violin Concerto no. 3 in G Major with a Sam Franko cadenza. The cadenza was a little beyond me: the fingering too tricky, my apathy too high. Playing it was like trying to grasp something just out of reach; with the next stretch, my ligaments would tear and bones would pop out of their sockets. This caused my teacher, my mother, and me angst in no small measure.

Mozart 3 is the first Mozart many violin students study, and this is where a lot of my violin mates quit, too. The problem---apart from the general problem with violin education---is that Mozart requires too much maturity in musicality. There's a reason major violin competitions usually require a Mozart piece at certain rounds, despite the relatively low technical difficulty compared with Romantic concertos or show pieces. The transparency of Mozart is a true test on how well a player understand the music, know how to phrase, and express themselves in an interesting but not peculiar way. A technically well-played Mozart can still sound like monotonous misery if the player doesn't have the ability to interpret it. So, it really only works for goal-oriented students (I've gotta win this competition), and is a chore for a lot of other students.

(And I say this as a big fan of Mozart's music)

---

I wasn't a Suzuki kid, but a thing that I felt really envious about, is that a proper Suzuki method encourages playing with your peers to a degree. A Suzuki teacher is supposed to arrange duets, recitals, etc., and it is just much more fun to play with and for your friends, instead of the guy in the mirror.

---

I'd like to point out that most of us don't retain every single hobby we attempted as a child. It is a natural outcome of growth, where we understand ourselves better, and learn to achieve happiness in a more strategic manner. I've seen questions by teenagers on violin forums, of such a kind: "I'm entering med school, and I'll be too busy to practice the violin. What should I do?" And just like some wise teachers pointed out, it's easier to be a doctor and an amateur violinist, than the other way around, so focus on your study first, and pick up the violin later when your life is less stressful.

It's fine to give up, for a while, or forever, or replace it with something else. There are many paths towards music, some are much easier or cheaper than others, and even music itself is not the only path to happiness anyway.

We all want to have unlimited time and have mastered all the skills in the world, but we don't have unlimited time, and most of the road to mastery is too long and too hard. It's worth it to sit down with yourself and ask whether this is something you really want, or is it merely the avoidance of cutting a sunken cost.

I started learning to play the piano and training in Tae Kwon Do at around the same age. There's a similarity in both skills, in that you need to practice all the time, learn the drills; be they scales and playing Baa Baa Black Sheep, or Poomsae and running through three step sparing.

Today I'd struggle to find middle C on a keyboard, but I do run my own Freestyle Martial Arts club. The difference was not parental pressure. Mum made me go to both classes, and made me practice both piano and martial arts at home. I hated doing both. I would feign illness or injury not to go.

My TKD instructor was nothing short of inspiring though. He was an Olympic coach and really put effort into training me. My piano teacher pulled my mum aside after a lesson, before I'd even gone for grade one, and told her that he saw no hope in me, and that she should stop lessons.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say here other than my instructors faith in me had more of an influence than any particular pedagogical approach.

Same. I've played guitar for 22 years (mainly steel string acoustic), but last year started learning classical and I cannot get enough of it, even though I'm pretty shit at it. It's so much fun to learn, even though no one will ever hear it.