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Men Without Work (2016)

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Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#51
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The fact that you need to apologize and explain why you care about issues that might affect men is telling in and of itself. The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm a pretty hardcore liberal and I I'm totally astonished on a daily basis at the hate in vitriol directed at men that go without comment, let alone castigation…

> The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm conflicted about that. Not denying that what you've said is true but I specifically chose the term "red pilled" because there are huge toxic (predominantly online) communities that are openly misogynistic. e.g. in theory I'd like and participate in the "men's rights" subreddit, i…

>in theory I'd like and participate in the "men's rights" subreddit, in reality it's a pit of toxicity.

Indeed, but so is the equivalent feminism subreddit (try "r/askafeminist" for example). And yet "women's rights" don't have the same stigma as "men's rights". What explains this asymmetry? Why is it some movements get defined by their extremists, and others don't?

>: a lot of this societal pressure against men being accepted as stay at home parents comes from men.

Really? Maybe its the company I keep, but I've never felt judged by other men when I share I love caring for my kids. If anything, I get a lot of smiles and nods irl and supportive comments online. If someone like Andrew Tate gave me shade about it, I'd take it as a reason to pity him. It takes a special kind of asshole to throw shade on a father who loves his kids, and who's kids love him.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#52
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The fact that you need to apologize and explain why you care about issues that might affect men is telling in and of itself. The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm a pretty hardcore liberal and I I'm totally astonished on a daily basis at the hate in vitriol directed at men that go without comment, let alone castigation…

> The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm conflicted about that. Not denying that what you've said is true but I specifically chose the term "red pilled" because there are huge toxic (predominantly online) communities that are openly misogynistic. e.g. in theory I'd like and participate in the "men's rights" subreddit, i…

> I'd also add: a lot of this societal pressure against men being accepted as stay at home parents comes from men.

Maybe men are just more vocal about their opinions regarding stay-at-home dads? Women may not exert "societal pressure" against stay-at-home men, but they're ~30% more likely to divorce them than working men (a 3.3% chance of divorce in a given year vs. 2.5%)[0].

> For marriages formed after 1975, husbands’ lack of full-time employment is associated with higher risk of divorce, but neither wives’ full-time employment nor wives’ share of household labor is associated with divorce risk. Expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, but the husband breadwinner norm persists.

[0] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122416655340

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#53
I think "Men Without Work" is a euphemism.

The problem is:

- Men without Skills in-demand-- skills which are at least somewhat fulfilling & interesting to those men.

Solution: Research labor data for careers in high demand, then cross reference those careers with skills a person is interested in. Then identify resources & a roadmap for learning those skills. And sit down, and put the time in to learn & apply those skills at a novice to intermediate level.

- Men who refuse to work. Part of why they refuse to work is that they might not recognize the solution above: to build skills relevant to a career they consider meaningful. This may also be due to a lack of monetary resources to live somewhat comfortably while building those skills (That said, I lived in a tent for months while teaching myself web development). Or they are overburdened by obligations and decided to give up and check out of society (i.e. turn towards homelessness and/or drugs)

Caveat: I know some folks who call themselves "poor folks". The reality is that their problem isn't that they're poor. Their problem is that they refuse to put together a well formatted resume, apply to jobs, and accept that they may have to start at the bottom of the career ladder. (And/or build new skills)

The concept of "Work" is but one link on a dependency chain:

Study -> Skills -> Productivity -> Work -> Career -> Build resources

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Just like how a lot of the societal pressure causing womens issues comes from women. There's no difference between genders in this aspect. Though for some reason, i see some feminists trying to blame men exclusively for men's problems. I have never seen a man blaming women for all women's issues the same way.

[flagged]

Bull.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#55
post #8

I'm very far from a red-pilled anti-feminist but I do think this is a hugely overlooked problem. Perhaps too much of an aside but I was lucky enough to be able to take an extended parental leave when my child was born, being a "stay at home dad" for the best part of a year. It was incredibly hard work, incredibly rewarding but also a real eye opener at how society still doesn't know what to do with a full-time parent…

a lot of this, at least in the united states, is due to a deep-seated dichotomy of heteronormative gender roles in suburban life. new mums groups have learned to be welcoming, but not inclusive to newcomers and that may largely be due to puritanical influences present in a lot of the cultures that oversee these groups. one could go so far as to say such patronisation and strict gender conformity serve to ostracize and secure the old-guard from ever encroaching threat of feminism or change.

As a diesel mechanic in the midwest, I can say the decline in men that have work could be a couple of factors. First, we decided 30 years ago everyone had to go to college, and in doing so found most degrees hardly worth the paper they were printed on while landed gentry reaped the windfall of college loan income. conversely tradecraft like welding, carpentry, HVAC, engine repair, and plumbing fell by the wayside with many of these crafts given a scarlet letter and left to beg and plead for any help whatsoever. there is still plenty of work, its just been made obscure and wicked by a hand that cant reap any lending profit from it.

second, militant drug testing and background checks have created an artificial scarcity. Do i need a sober person to run a drill press? certainly, but if that person spent a little time in jail for cannabis possession i dont care. Viewing potential employees as potential liabilities has in turn created a culture of calvinist jackboots that only hire the most visibly noble --if not technically bereft-- to fill their ranks.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#56
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The fact that you need to apologize and explain why you care about issues that might affect men is telling in and of itself. The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm a pretty hardcore liberal and I I'm totally astonished on a daily basis at the hate in vitriol directed at men that go without comment, let alone castigation…

> The American Zeitgeist around gender issues is distorted to dehumanize men and alienate anyone who even dares to recognize this fact. I'm conflicted about that. Not denying that what you've said is true but I specifically chose the term "red pilled" because there are huge toxic (predominantly online) communities that are openly misogynistic. e.g. in theory I'd like and participate in the "men's rights" subreddit, i…

There are some men's right subreddits that do not have allow the self-pity but they do not make it to the front page. I will not share specific subreddits for the sanity of the moderators but they are out there that focus on men's mental health specifically.

Toxic Masculinity is men on men hate.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#57

I think "Men Without Work" is a euphemism. The problem is: - Men without Skills in-demand-- skills which are at least somewhat fulfilling & interesting to those men. Solution: Research labor data for careers in high demand, then cross reference those careers with skills a person is interested in. Then identify resources & a roadmap for learning those skills. And sit down, and put the time in to learn & apply those sk…

Unspecified in all of this is: Society at large needs less labor to function.

What happens when all of the production is automated to the point we don't NEED 'Men to work'?

What do we do with them? What mischief do they get into when they have idle hands?

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#58

> Statistically, the labor force involvement for men twenty and older fell from 86% to 68% between 1948 and 2015 So what are they doing instead? How are they surviving?

> So what are they doing instead? How are they surviving?

Government handouts, but especially undocumented "gig" work and all kinds of crime, or relying on income women (or other family members) make from cleaning or whatever other shit paying jobs. Or they join the Army and serve as cannon fodder, which technically removes them from employment counts.

The problem is that there are a lot of "left behind" areas, not just in the rural USA aka "flyover states" but everywhere across Western societies, and governments haven't really figured out solutions for large, structural changes (industries closing down, less manual work needed in farming) other than handouts and leaving people to their own fate. The reality is that a lot of these areas simply are far too far gone to be saved, but it's political suicide to even admit that, much less do something about it - something like paying to re-settle people somewhere else, or to inject absurd amounts of money into these areas to make them livable again, e.g. incentivizing large employers for the long term (instead of the current "trend" to stay just barely long enough until tax credits expire and then re-locate to somewhere with fresh tax credits), subsidizing critical infrastructure like public transport, basic grocery and other stores, doctors, schools and basic entertainment.

Political incentives simply aren't lined up with what needs to be done, and to make it worse there are entire political parties who have made their entire policy just to be obstructionist to any common sense - first and foremost the GQP in the US, but also in Europe parties like the German AfD, UKIP/Brexit Party in the UK, FN in France or whatever Berlusconis and Salvinis parties in Italy are called. Additionally, eroded tax bases (thanks to decades of neoliberal, trickle-down bullshit) everywhere make the large-scale investments required outright impossible, and the rich elites have bought off enough politicians to make sure that meaningful change on that front won't ever come around.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#59
post #8

I'm very far from a red-pilled anti-feminist but I do think this is a hugely overlooked problem. Perhaps too much of an aside but I was lucky enough to be able to take an extended parental leave when my child was born, being a "stay at home dad" for the best part of a year. It was incredibly hard work, incredibly rewarding but also a real eye opener at how society still doesn't know what to do with a full-time parent…

Two big things stick out in all of this to me...

1) There's the idea that one parent does not work for a company.

This is hard for a lot of men and women to handle. A lot is put into the idea that adults need to be part of the economic productivity cycle or you're failing. Stay at home dad's are looked down on by others a lot due to this. It happens to many stay at home mom's, too.

Think about it. If both parents work they make more so they can consume more. That means more money for share holders and companies.

> what it is that you do

This assumes that the important thing to do is something related to companies and the economy. It's unsaid but assumed without most realizing it.

2) We have an idea that women can do anything men can. That women can step into traditional mens spaces. But, the opposite isn't true. That men can step into traditional womens spaces. It's a double standard. It's not said but it's thought. Even when people don't realize it.

Re: Men Without Work (2016)

#60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, this is real. Men still tend to get erased from the parental equation to a large degree. And this doesn't just affect stay at home dads. Much of the dialog around pregnancy loss and childloss seems to forget that there's often a father involved as well, and that the loss impacts both parents. When we lost our first child to a still birth, people would often focus entirely on my wife when offering sympathy and c…

I remember during most interactions with healthcare providers during my wife and I's pregnancies, hardly anyone ever talked to me, sometimes never even looking at me. I get it, I'm not the one carrying a baby to term, but I would have thought the fact that I was showing up to all these appointments, staying by my wife's side, taking part in decisions, and supporting her and the baby through the whole thing would have…

i know exactly what you mean. I remember an early doc appointment with my wife she was pregnant with our first child, the doctor was going over things with my wife like what she should be doing and what she should not be doing etc. I asked the doctor what i should be doing and what i should look out for, she just glared at me and said "you've done enough." implying i was only there to get my wife pregnant. That was 13 years ago but i still remember it vividly.
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