Ask HN: How do you work on your mental health?

No need to be reductive. There's lots of other ways people improve their mental health, like cutting toxic people out of their life, or going to therapy.

I would say I have good mental health. That was not always the case. A number of things have turned the tide for me.

1. I found some "active" shit I legitimately enjoyed doing: playing music, writing, walking, iyengar yoga

2. I walk a lot

3. I do yoga intensely once a week

4. I keep a journal

5. I learned how to manage my emotions from a powerful book called "The Anger Management Workbook for Men" by Aaron Karmin, and embracing it changed my life and enriched it in ways I absolutely never could have predicted

6. I have found a couple of communities that I am a part of

None of this stuff happened overnight, but the shift into the right direction started occurring a lot more quickly than I expected, and the not feeling like complete shit all the time, the extremely poor and sometimes very destructive coping mechanisms, they are a work in progress, but I am so much closer to my ideals than I could have expected in such a short time.

If I had to pick one to recommend, it would easily be the Karmin book. Best investment I've ever made.

I'm currently struggling with parenting an 18 month old child as an introvert. As a 50 year old first-time parent who had the benefit of lots of quiet alone time for literally decades, and possibly got a bit too used to it. :/

My sanity is eroding and I hit a wall every day. I also found that I don't have time anymore to keep up with technological developments like I used to, which is unfortunately eroding my value as a developer, so now I'm looking into hybrid PM/management/developer roles.

Meditation when I feel like it, in the Soto Zen style.

There seems to be a popular perception of the mind as a thing with many knobs and dials that has a tendency to get out of whack and require servicing by a qualified professional. It's really not.

There are a probably infinite number of things that can outright go wrong with a brain, resulting in an equal infinity of fascinating symptoms that are rightly in the domain of the medical profession. However, like other parts of the body of which the same can be said, those things are unlikely to be wrong you. Most "mental health" issues are not of that nature, but fall into one of two categories:

1. Suffering because something external is actually affecting you. Eg. If you're suffering mentally because you are in an abusive relationship or because you hate your job it's not fundamentally a mental health issue but something you need to straighten out in your life. If you can't you will continue to suffer in some way however much therapy you get. This can of course lead to problems of type 2.

2. Self-created (or self-exacerbated) problems. Pathological mental systems, misunderstandings of the world and your part in it, unhealthy cycles of self doubt and self torment, etc.

Problems of type 2 are very real, but they don't mean there is something wrong with you. Everybody experiences these things to some extent and learning to escape from them is part of learning to be a functioning adult. By far the most important technique to learn is letting go of things. You cannot prevent ideas from entering your mind, but whether you let them remain is ultimately up to you.

When something in your mind causes you suffering - a bad idea, an intrusive thought, a self-defeating behaviour, a necrotic value system, an unrequited love, etc - you can let go of it. Doing so is a physical act, not a mental one. It's not always easy. It can be extremely difficult, but it is always possible.

Meditation, as I see it, is physical practice at doing this. You simply sit and let go of whatever thoughts enter your mind, always returning to simple awareness of the present, your body (especially breathing and posture) and your surroundings. You cannot stop the thoughts entering your mind. They will continue. That is right. You are practising letting go of them when they do.

What you learn from this is that retaining thoughts is optional. You only need to pay any attention to the ones that do you some good. The physical ability to let go of the others is one of the most important skills you can acquire. It's worth practising.