* everyone has a set of habits that served them well during childhood, but may be maladaptive as an adult (e.g. getting angry is almost universal a sign of this maladaptive childhood habit rearing up). Book recommendation [0]
* the fear of hope is a key thing to understand when it comes to why people (myself included) hold themselves back. Taking the first step can feel terrifying because it demonstrates that one is responsible for creating one's own life. Book recommendation [1]
The only way out of this is to deliberately design your days so that you get the most out of them, even if it is fumbling at the start. Add in some times to relax here and there, but if you have a plan, it's much easier than staring at a blank Saturday with the vague goal of "I MUST learn JS/Rust/Go/Scala or my career will be over!!!" and then getting nothing done.
[0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23129659-adult-children-...
[1] https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-el...