Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#431

Post by grepfru_it » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:42 PM UTC

autoexec wrote: post #270

grepfru_it wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would love to do this but I live in a major city. Our neighborhood is relatively quiet but there is the random stranger and speeding car to think about. For me it’s delaying and limiting how much range my children get in their youth

Speeding cars aren't too much of an issue you've taught your kids how to cross the street safely and they're older than toddlers. Random strangers aren't much of a threat either unless you're in an area with lots of crime/gangs. These days kids have cell phones in their pockets and can dial 911, give location updates to friends and parents, or even start recording suspicious behavior before it escalates which weren't…

Crime and homelessness spill into my neighborhood. Cars drive down my 25mph street at 45+. I have stopped neighbors kids several times from runnning out after an errant ball. A neighbor’s child had an abduction attempt against her just two days ago.

Every city is different, it’s not a one size fits all approach. I’ll accept the downvotes for protecting my 5 year old. In two years this entire story will be different

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#432

Post by taeric » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:45 PM UTC

mindslight wrote: post #396

taeric wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unaccompanied roaming is, by it's nature, offline-centric. Sorta? I think it is fair to say that independent access to the internet is a form of roaming, as well. Used to, it also involved dial-up management and maybe a known profile on Prodigy/AOL/Compuserve. Nowadays, it probably just means a device on the network.

I agree with where you're coming from, but would point out that the commercial-surveillance Web is more of a managed experience than the free range one we experienced on the early Internet. So Internet time is likely more akin to dropping your kids off at the mall rather than letting them roam in the woods. If they've got the interest and aptitude to actually dig into computers and how they work (not just programming…

I think that same argument can be made for a lot of the commercial-surveillance that happens in stores and such now. The idea that you can hang out behind the store without being seen is... probably not entirely accurate nowadays.

To be sure, they are different.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#433

Post by citizenpaul » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:17 PM UTC

zmgsabst wrote: post #103

OJFord wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college Except American children away from home 'for college' are still exactly 'children', home with different parents. The culture of halls and canteens and the way it's funded is much more 'provided for you' than 'you're providing for yourself now'. I don't get the sense (from NA undergrads I've known, film, etc.) that much learning to cook go…

In my experience, college is when that transition happens: - freshman year, start off supported and end with a job - sophomore year, housing is dorms but otherwise on your own - junior and senior year, apartments with roommates and supporting yourself

Sounds ideal however such a tranisiton is never really encouraged or enforced. I would argue that dependency is encouraged, probably because its hugely profitable.

I would say the most common message is much like"think of the children" , "think about your education" plently of time to learn real life skills after you graduate with huge amounts of dorm debt.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#434

Post by odessacubbage » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:19 PM UTC

lotsofpulp wrote: post #427

odessacubbage wrote: post #419

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i'm not sure many people would describe phoenix or tampa as suburban

Whatever we want to describe it as, the point is there are a decent number of kids that live in places with roads like these.

i feel like must be where part of the disconnect lies because despite my personal antipathy towards suburban living, pretty much every one i've visited has had superb infrastructure for walking and biking.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#435

Post by ipaddr » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:34 PM UTC

tnel77 wrote: post #412

ipaddr wrote: post #249

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like you got a really good education

It was actually a solid education, but, in hindsight, I should have went to a more affordable college.

Didn't want to comment on the quality of the education I'm sure it's top quality most private schools are.

My comment was more that seeing how this system works is the real education. Get a locked in population to purchase housing which is owned by the founder gets around rules. This would be similiar to a judge owning a prison and sending everyone there for profit.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#436

Post by mcculley » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:41 PM UTC

kazinator wrote: post #420

mindslight wrote: post #394

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By uncritically repeating the nonsense that sensationalist mass media spews, OP does illustrate two of the main dynamics ultimately causing this. Parents are gobbling up this malevolent nonsense and then hovering over their kids to protect them from their own delusions, and the kids themselves are also being blasted with the apocalyptic media fire hose.

I've not watched television since around 1990. I don't read papers. I don't visit news sites. Never had a Twitter account though I'm on Mastodon now. Never had a Facebook account. I mostly use the Internet in connection with some very specific interests of mine. I do observe that your opinion that the mass media is all garbage and wrong isn't very original. You just repeating that from somebody. I suspect it's a comm…

On what are you basing the assertion that America is "crawling with predators"? Do you think it is worse than before? Worse than other places?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#437

Post by NERD_ALERT » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:49 PM UTC

gardenhedge wrote: post #286

NERD_ALERT wrote: post #112

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The political talking points are unfortunately not that sophisticated. It’s largely about how twitter is run by a cabal of SJWs silencing the freedom to post Hunter Biden’s dick pics or fantasies about the liberals who will throw a tantrum if you say their pronouns wrong.

Or the woke left insisting on declaring pronouns

Have you ever been outside? I’ve lived in “woke left” cities for years and worked with a lot of “woke left” individuals. Never in my life have I seen someone get angry about pronouns or call someone out for using the wrong pronouns. It’s a fantasy invented to pit the working class against eachother.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#438

Post by yucky » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:49 PM UTC

bill_joy_fanboy wrote: post #98

plsbenice34 wrote: post #86

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Harmful parenting styles lead to children that grow up to be debilitated and somehow it gets turned around to be called 'entitlement'. It's just shifting the blame from the bad parents to the child, like victim blaming.

Whenever someone uses the word "entitled", I just hear my mom. People who participate in and contribute to society are entitled to things. They should have a sufficient wage, safe housing, food and clean water. If I as a tax-paying, working member of society am not "entitled" to anything, why would I care about the perpetuation of the society? If I'm not "entitled" to anything, why should I care about anything or any…

   > People who participate in and contribute to society are entitled to things. They should have a sufficient wage, safe housing, food and clean water.

This is the /antiwork crowd we're talking about? The ones too emotionally stunted to even crawl out of bed and do anything productive because they've self-diagnosed as depressed/anxiety ridden/whatever?

No they're not entitled to anything. The ones that actually contribute to society are, but a huge chunk of them aren't. Which is fine, but then can't bitch about it and shouldn't expect anything in return. They can go live in the mountains or under a bridge.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#439

Post by xboxnolifes » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:52 PM UTC

Tade0 wrote: post #301

rychco wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

I see this explanation a lot, but then I look at polls like this one: https://reason.com/2014/08/19/august-2014-reason-rupe-nation... Sprawl is just a scapegoat, the real reason is in the mindset. In my corner of the world the idea that 12 year old teenagers should be, by law, supervised would be laughed at. And mind you, I live in a country where 36% of the population doesn't have access to public transport due to h…

I agree mindset is the bigger problem. Zoning and roads in a lot of the US suburbia are bad, and even now I wouldn't want to bike or walk around most of the roads myself, but it's the mindset that every stranger is someone trying to steal their child that is holding parents back.

There is no motivation to improve freedom of movement for children if parents don't even think children should have that freedom.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#440

Post by mindslight » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:55 PM UTC

kazinator wrote: post #420

mindslight wrote: post #394

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By uncritically repeating the nonsense that sensationalist mass media spews, OP does illustrate two of the main dynamics ultimately causing this. Parents are gobbling up this malevolent nonsense and then hovering over their kids to protect them from their own delusions, and the kids themselves are also being blasted with the apocalyptic media fire hose.

I've not watched television since around 1990. I don't read papers. I don't visit news sites. Never had a Twitter account though I'm on Mastodon now. Never had a Facebook account. I mostly use the Internet in connection with some very specific interests of mine. I do observe that your opinion that the mass media is all garbage and wrong isn't very original. You just repeating that from somebody. I suspect it's a comm…

Please list any statistic to support your previous assertion that "America ... is crawling with predators"

Perhaps you were trying to make a sarcastic point that people are reacting to a mistaken belief, which seems inline with some of what you just said. If that was the case, you didn't succeed, which is why I made the comment I did.

And I've no idea why you're trying to invoke "far right" except as some weird shoehorned ad hominem. For reference I'm a libertarian that has recently come around to voting conservative (which in 2022 means Democrat), because I would rather suffer bureaucratic totalitarianism than autocratic totalitarianism.