Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

kqed.org

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

341–350 of 489 posts

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#341

Post by dopeboy »

thebigman433 wrote: post #250
testfoobar wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In contrast, my sons grew up in a world that is senselessly unforgiving and penalistic, with few breaks from adults and little chance to explore life on their own terms. Teenage boys in particular now face an incredibly punitive culture in America. Everything is on video. The online mob will form and demand jail time for the slightest thing. How are teenage boys supposed to learn right from wrong?

Can you give examples of exactly what youre talking about here?

Boys fight physically. Fights would happen at my HS once-ish a month. The staff would break it up, detentions would be served, and life would go on.

Now each fight is recorded and saved for life. The short term consequences of that are not trivial - word spreads, video spreads, reputations build and now a dumb mistake is a whole moment.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#342

Post by dopeboy »

devwastaken wrote: post #170

Mental health is a reflection of socioeconomics. Solve concentration of wealth, allow people to feel they have a purpose and there is something to work for. Disband large cities, spread out the population. Fix the rat race, you fix mental health.

False. People can desire things that are non material eg beauty. That’s always been there - what new is the constant feed of information to us that we process and conclude as being inferior.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#343

Post by dopeboy »

goldcd wrote: post #30
mberning wrote: post #20

I was at the beach the other day, beautiful weather, perfect sunset, etc. The number of people staring at their phones was very high. The number of teenagers, especially girls, taking pictures and seemingly staging events was downright depressing. We will soon look back and realize that social media and phone addiction was worse for people’s health than smoking.

But you know that's simply not true. I was a smoker in my 20s and quit finally in my 40s. Are you suggesting my f'ed up choices were in some way better than taking a load of selfies in my twenties and growing out of it in their thirties?

If I absolutely had to choose a vice here, I’d choose smoking for 20 years over living in social media.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#344

Post by mro_name »

rychco wrote: post #221
jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

autonomous mobility is huge for kids 6-12.

It helps if they have not previously perceived the world only through a car window.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#346

Post by ido »

moonchrome wrote: post #205
bhaney wrote: post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder about this a lot. I have a handful of similar stories about nearly dying as a child too, as do most of my friends. But none of us have any stories about knowing someone who accidentally died as a result of doing something dangerous as a kid, even though I'd expect a few of those given how dangerous we all think our childhoods were. Of course, with the reach of the Internet, I'm sure at least somebody reading…

Seeing how I was the odd one out in my generation (poor/large family in the neighborhood) comparing myself to peers I don't see the value of my undirected roaming. For example I remember having a huge leap in physical abilities when I started takng taekwondo classes around that age. After school activities let me thinker with stuff. Roaming around was just lack of better things to do. Not really seeing what my peers…

But taekwondo is once a week. Roaming the forest instead of playing NES is something you did every afternoon.

I too have 2 children and struggle a lot with this question, I tend to lean towards more independence and my wife towards more supervision.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#347

Post by [deleted] »

watwut wrote: post #303
bobsmooth wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 year olds shouldn't be left alone to play on the street but if your kid is in middle school they should be allowed to bike however far their legs can take them.

But that is the thing - in Germany or Switzerland 6 years old go to and from school unsupervised. The expectation is that they can in fact play alone on the street.

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#348

Post by ido »

watwut wrote: post #303
bobsmooth wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

6 year olds shouldn't be left alone to play on the street but if your kid is in middle school they should be allowed to bike however far their legs can take them.

But that is the thing - in Germany or Switzerland 6 years old go to and from school unsupervised. The expectation is that they can in fact play alone on the street.

Do you have 6 year old in Germany today or are you talking about your own childhood? My 6 year old went to school on his own a few times and he was the only kid in his class to do so. He now no longer does as the teacher scared my wife into thinking it's dangerous to have him cross the street on his own (it's a small street and the entire way is 5 minutes walk).

I talked with my wife and we do want him to start going alone again when he is a bit older, maybe 7 or 8. But no other kid in the lower grades does (I went to school on my own from ± the very beginning as far as I can recall).

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#349

Post by ido »

cjbgkagh wrote: post #123
jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

German and Italian youths have a lot of problems as well. Young Italians are facing crushing unemployment and Germans are facing increasing pressure from cheaper EU labor undermining their earning potential. From what I have been told by friends, being told “shut up and do your job or I’ll replace you with a cheaper foreigner” is a common experience. In addition the modern US campus experience is ‘in loco parentis‘ a…

We've lived in Germany for 9 years (and Austria before that, which is culturally and economically very similar) and I've not encountered that supposed widespread threat of being replaced with cheap foreign labor.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#350

Post by sethammons »

alar44 wrote: post #187
kmlx wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> loose since a few years ago i’ve noticed a trend where people write “loose” (not firmly or tightly fixed in place; detached or able to be detached. "a loose tooth") instead of “lose” (be deprived of or cease to have or retain (something). "I've lost my appetite") does anyone know what’s going on?

The ubiquity of spellcheck and autocorrect. I can't spell for shit anymore.

Spellcheck without autocorrect taught me to spell. I would retry the word with a squiggly red line under it til it was good. Autocorrect doesn't allow this self-remediation and learning. Disable it :)
Post reply on HN