Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#261

Post by brailsafe » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:41 AM UTC

bobsmooth wrote: post #257

rychco wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

Are all suburbs like this? There were plenty of things in biking distance in my neighborhood.

No, but many are, particularly modern cul-de-sacs

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#262

Post by bobsmooth » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:42 AM UTC

moonchrome wrote: post #111

WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It’s such a strange blend of wanting to let your kids roam while being more aware of dangers that exist, both online and off. Unaccompanied roaming is, by it's nature, offline-centric. The primary, actual risks to children who are roaming are those that involve law enforcement and intolerant adults. What does not present a meaningful risk to unaccompanied children is strangers. > For my son, Scouts have been wonder…

> The primary, actual risks to children who are roaming are those that involve law enforcement and intolerant adults. Any statistics on that ? I grew up in 90s and in a family with 5 younger siblings my mother couldn't keep up. I got hit by a car running across the street at 6 (I think I was that age). I would roam local forest and street - visiting there recently I remembered how I went to pick up my ball once and n…

6 year olds shouldn't be left alone to play on the street but if your kid is in middle school they should be allowed to bike however far their legs can take them.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#263

Post by brailsafe » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:45 AM UTC

geysersam wrote: post #259

darknavi wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not that it _should_ be this way, but me and my friends would scooter/bike to school all the time in elementary/junior high (~2002-2008) and it was easily a few miles each way in Western Washington (not rural). I don't plan on having kids but I wonder if I'd let them do that today. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure I ever told my parents I did that.

Biking a few miles took 15-20 minutes I imagine. Why would you not let your 11+ year old kids bike that route? Sounds okay if there's not too much traffic.

In car-centric suburbia, there's always traffic at the same times every day, and often poor infrastructure for biking.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#264

Post by moistly » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:47 AM UTC

bill_joy_fanboy wrote: post #102

yucky wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…

> Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? Maybe it's that things today are generally just worse than they used to be. It is generally harder to "cope" as a younger person than it was 20-40 years ago.

In the late seventies/early eighties we grew up believing we were going to die in a nuclear holocaust. Have you watched “The Day After” and “Threads”? Way worse on a child’s psyche than “Don’t Look Up” because doesn’t depict survival in an irradiated apocalypse of pain, wounds, death, and deprivation: everyone just gathers for a nice dinner and instant obliteration.

We Gen-X coped with the grim possibility of nuclear death, and then coped with death by AIDS, and then coped with the ever-increasing reality of global environmental failure, from ozone holes to acid rain to the heat death of the planet, and then coped with being kicked in the teeth by massive financial failures again and again and again.

Things have been worsening ever more rapidly my entire damn life and there’s no sign of it ever letting up. Yet somehow, still coping. I don’t think young people have it any worse than Gen-X has had it.

Grumble, woe is me, get off my lawn, etc.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#265

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:59 AM UTC

remarkEon wrote: post #179

xabotage wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There won't be an exact replacement because the circumstances that led to the community cannot (or rather, should not) be replicated. For the sake of the survival of the planet/species, I also don't think any institution based around magical thinking should fill the gap. Keep in mind that high-demand religions require a huge investment of time and money. Devoting even just a fraction of those resources to hobbies, ar…

Humans have tried "we believe in nothing", throughout history, and yet ... I see no Cathedrals, no beautiful songs, no art, no science, no entire civilizations built to the honor of ... nothing. >which is why people are leaving it. Attendance at TLM is increasing , not decreasing.

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#266

Post by panick21_ » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 6:59 AM UTC

heavyset_go wrote: post #225

rychco wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

A deviation from this that I've seen are apartment complexes near town centers, where kids rarely have to travel via car to visit friends, go to a park, go to a store, go to school, etc.

There are comperativly few of these and walking and cycling even there is mostly bad.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#267

Post by panick21_ » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:03 AM UTC

cjbgkagh wrote: post #123

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

German and Italian youths have a lot of problems as well. Young Italians are facing crushing unemployment and Germans are facing increasing pressure from cheaper EU labor undermining their earning potential. From what I have been told by friends, being told “shut up and do your job or I’ll replace you with a cheaper foreigner” is a common experience. In addition the modern US campus experience is ‘in loco parentis‘ a…

The spector of the cheap immigrant is always raised everywhere that is successful. And most economic study on the topic shows that is far less an isse them is immagined in popular imagination.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#268

Post by moistly » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:03 AM UTC

daxvena wrote: post #162

As a youngish adult (27) this is some of what I feel: - Climate change is slowly creeping up on us and corporations keep on trucking along with an endless growth mindset, not caring about the consequences of what is essentially a cancer - Somehow I lucked out and ended up turning my favourite hobby into a job that pays really well, but something feels empty. I don't feel like I'm working any harder than people in low…

As a mid-fifties older adult, every one of your points rings true.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#269

Post by autoexec » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:05 AM UTC

mbg721 wrote: post #142

cloutchaser wrote: post #114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Something went wrong in the US after 911. I don’t think it’s just the government. The entire capitalist machine realised just how profitable fear can be, and that’s been one of the big marketing angles in the 2000s. Especially in media, but elsewhere like supplements and drugs too. But the society wide impact of that has been a much more fearful people, obviously making parents more protective too.

The seeds were planted long before 9/11. I was born in the 80s, and even I saw something wasn't right. The Nancy Reagan War on Drugs and Stranger Danger were there already.

Yeah, the culture around stranger danger and satanic panic really had a lot to do with it. Part of the freedom my generation had also came from the lack of tech to keep track of us, but the culture itself really changed. My parents occasionally decided we'd spent too much time indoors and kicked us out of the house until dark and had little idea where we were a lot of the time. I was a latchkey kid too and I'm pretty sure today leaving a kid unattended at home for hours would be considered illegal now (or at least risk a visit from CPS)

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#270

Post by autoexec » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:09 AM UTC

grepfru_it wrote: post #209

jasonhansel wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think so-called "free-range parenting" may be what they have in mind.

I would love to do this but I live in a major city. Our neighborhood is relatively quiet but there is the random stranger and speeding car to think about. For me it’s delaying and limiting how much range my children get in their youth

Speeding cars aren't too much of an issue you've taught your kids how to cross the street safely and they're older than toddlers. Random strangers aren't much of a threat either unless you're in an area with lots of crime/gangs. These days kids have cell phones in their pockets and can dial 911, give location updates to friends and parents, or even start recording suspicious behavior before it escalates which weren't options kids had in the past.