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Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#71

I was at the beach the other day, beautiful weather, perfect sunset, etc. The number of people staring at their phones was very high. The number of teenagers, especially girls, taking pictures and seemingly staging events was downright depressing. We will soon look back and realize that social media and phone addiction was worse for people’s health than smoking.

I think smartphones are the worst invention of this century. They bring all the addictive services (not just social media but also news, gaming and such) everywhere, with minimum resistence. Before smartphones every silent moment, every moment of boredom people had to figure out something to do, make do with what was available. Now the phone is always the path of least resistance and instant gratification, which does…

The proper word for the device is "joymaker", and we're almost there - just a few more finishing touches.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Age_of_the_Pussyfoot#Joyma...

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#72

When reading an article like this I’m distracted by the overwhelming number of possible causes. Could be life today, life 10 years ago, or expectations for the future. We don’t have sufficient data to really disentangle so many possible variables. As a youngish adult myself I’m not sure my peers know what’s going on either as they experience mental health problems. Everything is shrouded in such complicated stories a…

> Among other things, people want to feel like someone needs them.

A simple suggestion but this is where playing a team sport can be really helpful, so here you might find groups of people with less mental health issues.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#74
post #21

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

That is an interesting point. Couple that with things like cost of living, cost of education, poor training and mentorship in jobs, etc. Although I’m slightly confused by the quote. How do kids in Italy get started navigating real life earlier if they live at home longer? I’m guessing the point there is that they have help in early adulthood while still living at home, but the quote, as written, is a little confusing…

I think the last sentence is poorly phrased.

The idea seems to be that overprotective parenting of children isn't harmful if those children continue to live with their parents as they enter adulthood, since their parents will be able to help them as they adjust. (Supposedly this happens in Italy.)

Likewise, having children move out when they become adults isn't harmful if those children have grown up with the ability to live independently. (Supposedly this happens in Germany.)

The problem comes when you combine overprotective parenting with the norm that children should move out at a relatively young age. This leaves young adults both unprepared and on their own when they leave. (Supposedly this happens in the US.)

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#75
post #41

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…

> To be fair, I don't blame them.

I think it’s fair to say that the blame is on us, the current parents generation. We have formed todays youth differently than our parents formed us.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#76

This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#77
post #48

The infantilization of an entire generation and the extension of adolescence into the 20s is a disaster for mental health. It's hard to find meaning if you remain immature. Without meaning, what's the point in living?

It's not necessary to find meaning if you remain immature. Kids live happily without meaning, and don't even question it.

I think a bigger problem is that humans are, in general, not good at finding meaning above and beyond survival. For most of our history as a species, it simply wasn't necessary, because surviving was hard enough for most of the populace, and religion provided some semblance of meaning for those who had enough free time to ask questions. But now we have a lot more people who have their basic physiological needs consistently satisfied, and OTOH religion got a lot less convincing for a variety of reasons.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#78
post #36

It's because there's nothing for them to look forward to. People keep asking why is X group struggling? And there's been enough articles about different groups that X is basically nearly everyone. Things are not getting better for anyone except the extremely wealthy.

That's objectively false for almost any metric you can come up with. Maybe the problem is that media gives such distorted view of reality?

[deleted]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#79
post #60

This is mostly about parenting, but the point about conflict struck me. I've found that lots of people out there seemingly can't handle disagreement at all, and attribute a fundamental moral failure to their conversation partner if they don't see eye to eye. And most of these people are incredibly unhappy. I would be too if I couldn't trust anybody other than my perfect clone. It's an antiquated idea, but explicit cl…

Simply "disagreement" implies that there are valid opinions and perspectives to engage about. What we have now is a culture so polarized that you are literally evil to the other side if you disagree. We can't afford to have simple disagreements because if the other tribe destroys you, you need your tribe to support you. For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about.…

Because “of real political consequence” implies that it’s pretty damn important. You should be able to disagree about political things like tax structures and heath benefits without anyone getting hurt (my friends certainly have such disagreements). But if they get legitimately racist or sexist etc, it’s reasonable to start questioning their sanity and trustworthiness.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#80
post #75
post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…

> To be fair, I don't blame them. I think it’s fair to say that the blame is on us, the current parents generation. We have formed todays youth differently than our parents formed us.

That's a cop out, and only reinforces their internalized belief that literally nothing is their own fault.

Find a Gen Z person who is fully accountable for their own actions and you will have located a unicorn. It's uncanny how in-sync that entire generation is with the idea that they are not only owed the world, but have no fault. They are crippled by the actions of "others" (whoever the others are doesn't matter - boomers, the rich, Trump, old people on scooters in Walmart...the who doesn't matter as long as they can point to someone else at fault for everything that hurts their feelings.

I don't know how you grow out of a collective psychosis like that. It's cult-like.

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