These conversations are kind of like the airplane on the treadmill problem, where there are (approximately) two orthogonal sets of assumptions/preferences that lead to obvious but incompatible conclusions, and people end up yelling at each other over the conclusions without realizing the difference is just the underlying assumptions. Personally - I don't want to live in a city, or a town, or even a neighborhood. I do…
>I don't mind seeing my neighbors but I don't want to hear them and I don't really want to interact with them.
Nobody wants to hear their neighbors. The biggest complaint you have about cities is shared by most of the people who like them. It's just that buildings are often not built to manage noise properly, for a variety of reasons (age / imperfect information / deregulation / …).
Of course, if it offers you no upside, don't live there. But I suspect that perspective is rare.