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What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

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Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#61

Post by voisin »

anon291 wrote: post #24
jjulius wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does it matter how a family sleeps as long as it works well for the family? Edit: And is it an "obsession" or simply a cultural difference?

It's an obsession because pediatricians insist upon it while offering no advice on co sleeping despite that being the most common arrangement worldwide. It's also extremely common in the United States despite parents not admitting to it. Unfortunately, being given no information, the American parents who cosleep go on blind and don't know what precautions to take. But yeah, it's an obsession because it's pushed despi…

I answered in another comment, but at least in British Columbia, Canada, new mothers are given advise as to how to co-sleep safely.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#62

Post by number6 »

oaktrout wrote: post #32

I read the primary study and admittedly skimmed the very long article. So far as I can tell the takeaway is: after baby is 6 months old there are no observed downsides to sleep training, is that correct?

Yes. Makes no difference if sleep trained or not.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#63

Post by voisin »

leokennis wrote: post #11
anon291 wrote: post #6

Part of this is that Americans have an obsession with babies sleeping in another room and in another bed. My family immigrated here and no one ever did that. Children sleep with their parents.

I slept with both my babies for maybe two nights. Nights where I slept an hour or less because I would wake with every little sound they made. Then I put them in their own rooms, with a baby monitor set to a reasonable threshold. I got a solid 3-4 hours a night. The babies got fed, cleaned, cuddled etc. Win-win.

> Nights where I slept an hour or less because I would wake with every little sound they made.

This is a feature, not a bug. That attunement is what allows caregivers to avoid suffocating their child. It works when the caregiver is not under the influence or so exhausted they don’t wake up (which it sounds like in your case you were on the verge of that by only sleeping an hour or less, but I promise you after a week or so you adjust and sleep fine if not more a bit less deeply so you will react if anything is happening to the baby.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#64

Post by number6 »

goldenchrome wrote: post #25
leokennis wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a simplistic potshot. If you go to your baby every time it cries that could mean a lot of work, so much it ruins your own rest/health/sanity and makes you a worse parent at the times the baby isn’t crying.

A defenseless child wants nothing more than to sleep next to their parent. Everyone sleeps better.

> Everyone sleeps better.

Did you ever sleep next to an infant?

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#65

Post by kcplate »

jbirer wrote: post #2

[flagged]

My grandson was sleep trained and I was a skeptic at first. But it basically took less than 48 hours before he learned to self soothe and was on a schedule with never more than about 15 mins of fussing in that initial training phase.

After he was trained and got on his sleep schedule he was the happiest baby I have ever been around and I raised 3 kids myself and have 3 other grandchildren. He never has issues with overtiredness and basically will only fuss if diaper needs changed or was hungry. Now he just flat out tells you when he is tired (“nigh-nigh”) at 18 months and it’s almost always nearly to the minute of when it is his bed or nap time and within a minute or two of being in bed…he is zonked.

Everyone I know who has done it sings it’s praises and in our own observation it’s simply amazing. I am no longer a skeptic. Also I will say this, if the crying is the stressful and damaging situation to babies, then in our experience the net result is less stress for the child with sleep training.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#66

Post by voisin »

jjulius wrote: post #5
jbirer wrote: post #2

[flagged]

>Babies cry for a reason (to get their needs met). Yep. Including, "I woke up and I don't yet know how to put myself back to sleep," which is where "sleep training" helps. I, too, would be curious as someone else asked, if you have children.

But do they cry more or less if they are sleep trained vs co-sleeping? Varies I am sure, but in our case at least our children slept soundly whenever not nursing while co-sleeping but for our ill-fated attempt at sleep training just cried and cried and cried (a mistake we tried only with our eldest). To each their own - I say do whatever works!

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#67

Post by number6 »

smallstepforman wrote: post #36

From Darwins point of view, klingy children slept besides their parents, were not eaten by sabre tooth tigers, and passed on the klingy gene. Babies that slept alone were eaten by Sabre tooth tigers, and did not pass their “can sleep in isolation” gene across. So why fight nature, accept it as part of life. Sleeping together bonds parents and children.

Weak crying baby's get thrown down the pit. Makes tribe stronger. Crush other tribe from cave 19. /s

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#68

Post by yawnr »

darrmit wrote: post #12

I'm more interested in the long-term psychological effects of sleep training and how it affects a child's perception of "secure attachment" [1]. We sleep trained our oldest and did not our youngest and their personalities couldn't be more different. Of course, this may be entirely unrelated, but it's still something my wife and I have wondered about as we've learned more about it. [1] https://www.betterhelp.com/advic…

Which kid do you like more..? ;)

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#69

Post by jjulius »

voisin wrote: post #60
jjulius wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>It's easier for the family when the child is in the room with the parents. At least in the same way it is easier to have a master bathroom rather than one on the other side of the house. Up to a point, sure. One common scenario is for newborns to sleep in their own crib/basinet/whathaveyou in the parent's room for a short time, before moving into their own room. Many people don't sleep train until their children are…

> I think it's really stupid, unfair and short-sighted to judge other parents for their decisions in this area. I would expand this to [in any area]. We need to adopt more of a “whatever works for the family” attitude rather than a one size fits all attitude.

Completely agreed. If the children and parents are happy and healthy, whatever is happening in their home is working for them and it's absolutely not my place to question it. Everybody is different.

Re: What happens when babies are left to cry it out?

#70

Post by meepmorp »

jjulius wrote: post #23
pessimizer wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> as long as it works well for the family? It's easier for the family when the child is in the room with the parents. At least in the same way it is easier to have a master bathroom rather than one on the other side of the house. > is it an "obsession" or simply a cultural difference? It was an imposed cultural difference. American parents were told they would hurt their children if they slept in the same room with t…

>It's easier for the family when the child is in the room with the parents. At least in the same way it is easier to have a master bathroom rather than one on the other side of the house. Up to a point, sure. One common scenario is for newborns to sleep in their own crib/basinet/whathaveyou in the parent's room for a short time, before moving into their own room. Many people don't sleep train until their children are…

Also, children are wildly different! My elder slept terribly for about 3 months, until we gave up on trying to cosleep, and slept for almost 6 hours straight when we put him down by himself for the first time. The younger liked co-sleeping and transitioning to a separate room was much harder.
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