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What it’s like to have a social media detox

theguardian.com

61–70 of 91 posts

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#61

I just wish FaceBook was presented to me like HackerNews: - My Favorite Group is meeting next week at a local restaurant - My Neighbor is on yet another amazing trip with his perfect family - My old classmate found a preachy article that he wants to share - etc. I crave the connection, but there is such a thin line between that and bragging. I love it at a party when I ask what someone has been up to and they have an…

FB was better when it was just a wall and not a feed.

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#63
I deleted all social media over the span from 2016 to 2019, and after an short period of actively missing it, I don't even think about it anymore, unless the topic comes up as one of societal concern, or in connection with my kids. Phones are still distracting without social media, but materially less so. Being off social media has not just been a net positive, it is almost an unmitigated positive. The social connection it promises to provide is illusory, and it gets in the way of actual social interactions. It is sad to see people who obviously know each other sitting next to each other while staring at their phones, many of them presumable looking at social media. I see it among young people at my kids' events, among my social set, and especially among other families out to dinner.

The harm it appears to be causing to kids is my main concern, given social pressure to do what other kids are doing. Banning communication platforms for kids would be hard to implement in practice. A good starting point would be to ban phones from K-12 schools. They are raising a generation of kids with really bad habits and poorly developed social skills, attention spans, and creativity.

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#64
post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

don’t forget that you typed this message on social media

can you elaborate ? This has imho nothing to do with social media. I check hackernews daily, I pick articles (or discover new tools ...) that spark my curiosity and I read them, period. Sometimes I engage and exchange with other people, leave my opinion etc ... This is nothing close to what Facebook, Instagram and co are up to ... Please explain.

it seems to me that you’re confusing this idea of “harmful social media” - i.e. facebook, twitter, etc - with the concept of social media itself. HN avoids dark patterns and tries to circumnavigate the engagement trap, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an online medium through which people - including you - communicate

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#65
I deleted all my social media 5 months ago, and I feel amazing. I didn't think I would be able to do it, but after all this time without it, I almost forget that Instagram and Snapchat are a thing. I no longer see the selfies of people who bullied me in high school every day. I no longer feel like every experience and accomplishment needs to be milked to boost my reputation to my peers via social media. It's so freeing. And the amount of extra free time I have now is great too

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#67
I've gone years without social media at a time and now I've finally learned to just balance it better.

- On Facebook, I heavily scrutinize the friends I accept and use the "hide" button judiciously. I also only check it about once a week, max. I do find value in Facebook groups and Facebook's event scheduling features. As someone else mentioned, I wish there was a way to tune Facebook to a more community-driven view than whatever trash they want you to see to drive max "engagement" (see: conflict).

- On Instagram, I just don't see much value in it. I have the account so I can authenticate when I need to.

- TikTok, I just enjoy. The interesting thing is the "social" aspect of TikTok is off-platform for me - I generally share TikToks via text message or show my phone in person. I am a little creeped out by how addictive it is, but for right now I'm ok with it.

- Twitter, I see value in as a news site but the social aspect just never caught on for me. It all feels very "extroverted".

I do agree with the idea that, largely, social media is toxic and we'd be better off without it. But that could also be said about much of the Internet and mainstream media at this point.

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#68
post #4

Honestly, it's very difficult to cut social media. We like to tell ourselves that those who managed to quit (and are informing us of how bad it is) are being snobs or acting superior: but the truth is unfortunately that we are just feeling defensive of our inability cut the habit. I managed to get off of facebook and my mental health improved greatly, enough that I actually notice it. However, that was insanely hard…

> I'm still on Instagram, I'm on tiktok, I'm on Twitter.

Tik Tok is another one that I just didn't see the utility in. Why would I want to watch a video of somebody being stupid? I just need to look around at people doing that in the normal walks of life.

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

can you elaborate ? This has imho nothing to do with social media. I check hackernews daily, I pick articles (or discover new tools ...) that spark my curiosity and I read them, period. Sometimes I engage and exchange with other people, leave my opinion etc ... This is nothing close to what Facebook, Instagram and co are up to ... Please explain.

Indeed. Most of the time I don't even bother to read the usernames of people I'm interacting with — or just glance at them briefly to separate the voices in any given thread. The comments here, for me, are about their content and their place within the context of the article linked and the following discussion, not who wrote them. Social media is all about following people or interests and having the platform tailor…

> Most of the time I don't even bother to read the usernames of people I'm interacting with

This is interesting because I never really noticed that I have no idea who wrote what unless somebody else points out "hey, look, John Carmack just replied!" or whatever.

Whatever is written on HN stands on its content alone. It is meritocratic in the best way.

Re: What it’s like to have a social media detox

#70
post #4

Honestly, it's very difficult to cut social media. We like to tell ourselves that those who managed to quit (and are informing us of how bad it is) are being snobs or acting superior: but the truth is unfortunately that we are just feeling defensive of our inability cut the habit. I managed to get off of facebook and my mental health improved greatly, enough that I actually notice it. However, that was insanely hard…

> and telling people to quit is unreasonable. well, it's not :/. Just quit.

omg, why didn't I think of that?

https://i.redd.it/5tqpouqebvp11.jpg

My whole post is about how I've been trying, have tried, and how I've failed.

I'm 33 now, I've quit many other addictive things but this one seems to rope me back.

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