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Life Is Short (2016)

paulgraham.com

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Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#301

Post by althea_tx »

SyzygistSix wrote: post #257
jjeaff wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does that also make those moments more memorable? I don't have any experience in it, but seems like an interesting possibility that when things seem to slow down you remember them better. Or maybe you remember them even less?

Is an experience only fun or valuable when you can remember it? What does that say about all the things we remember incorrectly?

Good question. My early 20s are a blur, partly because of recreational substances I ingested. At the time, the days felt long and full. The experience isn’t less fun or valuable but I wish I could access all of those memories.

It’s not that I worry about the accuracy of the memories I’ve retained. I am saddened by the gaps in what I remember.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#302

Post by althea_tx »

SyzygistSix wrote: post #257
jjeaff wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does that also make those moments more memorable? I don't have any experience in it, but seems like an interesting possibility that when things seem to slow down you remember them better. Or maybe you remember them even less?

Is an experience only fun or valuable when you can remember it? What does that say about all the things we remember incorrectly?

To be clear, I have no regrets and would make the same choices.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#303

Post by mattymf »

> one should actively seek out things that matter

After reading the word "bullshit" about 10 times in 5 paragraphs, a beautiful piece of advice emerged.

The "bullshit" avoided in life should be replaced with something meaningful to you! At the end of the day, a proud man has the realities of his past: meaningful work done, love loved, and suffering bravely suffered. Replace the nonsense avoided with things that matter in a 1 to 1 ratio.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#304

Post by babyoil »

dorchadas wrote: post #279
zemvpferreira wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is inevitably going to sound facetious but you can always move back. Give up some things, gain others. Isn't that what this essay's about? I'm 40. My parents are 75 and I recently moved back next door to them. I expect to be here until they die. Is it my favourite place to live? No. Best for my career? Couldn't be worse. But I see my folks every day. I see my childhood friends every week. I see as much of my fam…

This is actually something that's been weighing on my mind heavily this holiday season, as I'm home in the first time for a year. It's...difficult for me. I love seeing my good friends and family, but there's also nothing in this town for me (apart from a job); it's in rural Kentucky, and there's nothing there to promote my interests (mainly academic) and good luck finding any long-term partners (I'm about as far fro…

I'm in my late 20s. Still no kids but a long term partner.

Since finding a fully remote job, I've been going back and forth. I stay one month in my city where I am independent, go out with friends, basically where I live my life.

Then I stay 2-4 full weeks with my folks. I bought new office equipment to work as comfortably as in the city, and nice things to make my space really mine.

It's an interesting cycle that I've learned to accept and enjoy. When I'm with them, I work a bit more because I have less social distractions, I go to the gym every day, and I see them all day. When I go back to my place, I go out with everyone, eat less meat, go to events, and do my regular activities that make me feel myself.

It's a 6 hour cheap trip, which is not bad considering I stay in one place for weeks. It's not perfect, and maybe not permanent, but I can see my folks. Half the year at least, even if they never visit me. They're getting older. If they leave this world today, I will be devastated, but happy that my present self is doing the best it can to be with them.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#305

Post by conqueso »

alexchantavy wrote: post #260

> The "flow" that imaginative people love so much has a darker cousin that prevents you from pausing to savor life amid the daily slurry of errands and alarms. This is a great sentence and I want to see it expanded on. I crave being in that flow state and enjoy what I do but it makes me very irritable to be interrupted and I realize needing this level of focus potentially takes me away from other aspects of life like…

I enjoyed the piece and this is one part that I disagree with. As I understand it, being in a flow state simply means being totally absorbed by what you are doing during that time frame - it doesn't necessitate taking any more time away from other activities/priorities that you otherwise would if not in a flow state. I also enjoy working like this, and can relate to the feeling of frustration when being interrupted when the going's good. The most effective way I've found to avoid it is communicating that I'm "head down" and turn off all (non-emergency) notifications. Being able to shift away from work when you're not on the clock is a certain kind of discipline that is necessary to living a healthy and (IMO) worthwhile life - working in a flow state does not have to impede this.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#306

Post by dorchadas »

babyoil wrote: post #304
dorchadas wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is actually something that's been weighing on my mind heavily this holiday season, as I'm home in the first time for a year. It's...difficult for me. I love seeing my good friends and family, but there's also nothing in this town for me (apart from a job); it's in rural Kentucky, and there's nothing there to promote my interests (mainly academic) and good luck finding any long-term partners (I'm about as far fro…

I'm in my late 20s. Still no kids but a long term partner. Since finding a fully remote job, I've been going back and forth. I stay one month in my city where I am independent, go out with friends, basically where I live my life. Then I stay 2-4 full weeks with my folks. I bought new office equipment to work as comfortably as in the city, and nice things to make my space really mine. It's an interesting cycle that I'…

> If they leave this world today, I will be devastated, but happy that my present self is doing the best it can to be with them.

Yeah, this is what's bothering me, just turning 30. Even moreso in that if something were to happen where they were to leave the world tomorrow, I don't know if I'd be able to make it because of the way flights work overseas. It's a lot to think about, honestly, though I feel it'll at least be 2024 before I come back as there's a masters programme I want to do I think I'll always regret if I don't. Then maybe a PhD. Maybe getting a remote job would be the best, or just returning to teaching here. Thanks for your input!

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#307

Post by npc12345 »

msie wrote: post #73

At 51, I am trying to come to grips with wasting my life in my 20s, 30s and 40s. I don't remember doing anything memorable during that time. I spent too much time doing bullshit programming or doing the same old comfortable things with friends. I wish I dated more. Tried more things that young people can do. I was too scared to make mistakes. Now I can't go back. It's driving me nuts.

[dead]

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#308

Post by feanaro »

brutusborn wrote: post #272
feanaro wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Buddhism has plenty of "absurd" beliefs of this sort. If anything, the delineation of "absurd" is anything but simple.

Yeah some sects can get whacky. I think the core Buddhist tenets are pretty much absurdity free but I agree that it’s not simple to determine. Are there any beliefs in particular you were thinking of?

The six realms of existence, hungry ghosts (pretas), siddhi, sacca-kiriya, the cosmic buddhas, the Pure Lands...

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#309

Post by menomatter »

_8j50 wrote: post #15

8 years with your kids is short, 8 years with cancer is long, 8 seconds with your hands on a hot stove is very long. If you succeed in developing a good or at least occasionally enjoyable life, your perspective on life is different than others barely enduring it at all. In general, it is short in the way of a bell curve. It is long when you are a child or at the end of a long life enduring hardships of old age.

Most people in the third world are barely enduring it. If you have the luxury to reflect on roads not taken, I pray that you appreciate it .. a lot.

Re: Life Is Short (2016)

#310

Post by ca98am79 »

Having kids is hard, but yeah it is one of the best things.

My wife would get annoyed when we would pass someone walking and they would see our kids and say "enjoy your time with them while they are young!" Because she hadn't slept and was stressed out. She would think "you enjoy your freedom and your full night of sleep!"

"The days are long but the years are short" is a quote I think about a lot.

I think the key is the same whether you have kids or not: peace of mind in the present moment. If you are happy now you won't regret it later.

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