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I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

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Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#121

Post by jacquesm »

subharmonicon wrote: post #119
jacquesm wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bike accident (utterly self inflicted), 1000's of all-nighters, too little exercise (which I guess you can always point at, I bike a lot but that's not balanced exercise), diet, overstressed joints/muscles by doing too much physical work beyond my ability (usually when remodeling houses or constructing stuff). Coupled with a nice assortment of genetic heritage and some regular diseases (COVID, kidneys, gall bladder,…

For me 47 to 52 has been like a steep drop as well. I have neither been great or awful in taking care of myself, but it has clearly added up. Now facing open-heart surgery with all its risks and complications sometime soon. I knew that was always a possibility due to a congenital heart defect but five years ago it seemed unlikely and suddenly in the last 18 months it became a clear eventuality. Trying to reframe that…

Wow, here's to hoping that that surgery works out and that there are no complications. Makes my stuff look like a mere nuisance. Best of luck there!

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#122

Post by rubicon33 »

nick__m wrote: post #15

My wife has one metastasis on her spine , it was detected 33 day ago, I fear that moment where she will be suffering enough that she will qualify for medically assisted death. According to the paper accompanying her incredibly expensive drugs (5700$/month) she has between twelve and eighty-eight months left ... I hope that she will cost money to my insurance for a long time! According to her oncologist we cannot know…

I'm so sorry man. Losing my wife is my greatest fear. FUCK cancer.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#123

Post by bckr »

beebeepka wrote: post #59
bckr wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's natural to feel this way. Also consider that all creatures before us went away in this way as well, and all will. Even if we attain superhuman lifespans, one day something will put an end to our lives. Finally, consider being curious about death itself. There are many strange and interesting features of the death of a sapient being.

I am curious about your last paragraph. What does it mean?

Death is something people in my culture try not to think about much. It is considered that the dead are totally dead and gone, never to be spoken to again and spoken of with sadness and distance.

People of other cultures think differently about death. Death is welcomed into the day to day life. Consciousness of death is invited, even celebrated. The dead are spoken to.

This second group of people don't believe in the finality of death. They believe and live towards life after death, believing in either some sort of continuum of consciousness or of their own consciousness as the process of an immaterial soul that will live after the body stops.

Stories of death and near-death are full of the unexplained and perhaps unexplainable.

From a western materialist perspective alone, death is fascinating if you look at it. Where does our consciousness arise from? It must be from the brain, right? And it is a sort of illusion, since we don't have individual souls. The perception of consciousness is a labyrinth of mirrors, self references.

Yet, the same machinery for perceiving ourselves is also used to perceive others. We are constantly simulating and imitating one another. We're even working to modify and live up to others' images of us.

So the patterns of the consciousness of any individual are actually distributed, holographically, through a community of brains.

This being known.... Who or what died when one brain dropped off the grid? (For more in this direction, read Hofstadter).

Even more simply, what changes take place in a dying person? What is the difference between a person who embraces death and a person who dies in fear? Is it possible to be happy while dying? What would it take to live a life that ends happily?

This is what I mean when I say that death is worth being curious about.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#124

Post by jacquesm »

bane wrote: post #104

Almost exactly 18 months ago, my then 87 year old father, after feeling unwell and having some fluid problems with his lungs was diagnosed with stage-4 lung cancer. He turned down treatment and died at home a couple days before Christmas last year. I've come away from the experience very unhappy with the medical system. There's a long list, things that in any other industry would be prosecuted. The medical and hospic…

So many stories like yours. They are one of the reasons living in the United States never appealed to me.

With Christmas coming up this must be a very hard time for you, hang in there.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#125

Post by jacquesm »

burritas wrote: post #113
bane wrote: post #104

Almost exactly 18 months ago, my then 87 year old father, after feeling unwell and having some fluid problems with his lungs was diagnosed with stage-4 lung cancer. He turned down treatment and died at home a couple days before Christmas last year. I've come away from the experience very unhappy with the medical system. There's a long list, things that in any other industry would be prosecuted. The medical and hospic…

I'd rather not go into personal detail but I share a similar experience. The thing that really drove it home for me was when I got back home and was telling my own doctor about my experience dealing with family in the medical system and she said I was mistaken or there was a misunderstanding because that kind of thing doesn't happen. I asked why she was siding with a doctor she'd never met before instead of listening…

The one thing that every doctor should have happen to them is to go through the medical system as well for something non-trivial. That usually gives them a lot more perspective on the reality of being on the receiving side.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#126

Post by didgetmaster »

endorphine wrote: post #3

Anyone else feeling anxious over their own mortality after reading this?

When I was in my 30s and had two small children, my appendix burst. It turned into a fairly routine procedure to remove it and get me back on my feet; but I realized that if I had lived even 100 years ago it probably would have been fatal.

Near death experiences can change your whole perspective. When I was young and single, I did all kinds of crazy things that could easily have ended me. Once I got married and had children, I definitely became much more conservative in the personal risks I was willing to take because it wasn't just about me anymore.

Tomorrow is promised to no one, but each of us can do things to minimize risk.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#127

Post by NaturalPhallacy »

nick__m wrote: post #15

My wife has one metastasis on her spine , it was detected 33 day ago, I fear that moment where she will be suffering enough that she will qualify for medically assisted death. According to the paper accompanying her incredibly expensive drugs (5700$/month) she has between twelve and eighty-eight months left ... I hope that she will cost money to my insurance for a long time! According to her oncologist we cannot know…

>(5700$/month)

How is this not profiteering?

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#128

Post by pifm_guy »

adamredwoods wrote: post #96
pifm_guy wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We also have a lot of data on ways to reduce cancer before it happens. Reduce obesity. Reduce pollution. Etc. Yet we really aren't doing an awful lot about those things. Imagine for example if we had an obesity tax - everyone obese must pay 30% of their earnings into a Medicare fund. Sure it would be unpopular, but obesity would very quickly be solved, and cancer rates would plummet.

I know we want to believe it was somehow a blame or fault of someone who develops cancer. The reality is I've seen unhealthy people never get cancer and healthy people, children even, who get cancer. No one is to blame for getting cancer.

Many of those cancers might be caused by pollution... For example, UV in sunlight is thought to be the main cause of skin cancer. UV is far higher today than 100 years ago because we destroyed most of the ozone layer. But we don't actually know how thick the ozone layer used to be or how much UV used to reach ground level because we never measured it before destroying it. So possibly skin cancer was very rare 100 years ago.

The same for cancer's from nitrous oxides from car exhausts. The same for particulate pollution. Same for microplastics. The same for all the kinds of pollution we don't yet know about or measure.

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#129

Post by wayeq »

jacquesm wrote: post #35
CamelRocketFish wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How haven’t you been kind to your body?

Bike accident (utterly self inflicted), 1000's of all-nighters, too little exercise (which I guess you can always point at, I bike a lot but that's not balanced exercise), diet, overstressed joints/muscles by doing too much physical work beyond my ability (usually when remodeling houses or constructing stuff). Coupled with a nice assortment of genetic heritage and some regular diseases (COVID, kidneys, gall bladder,…

I'm similar. You might try swimming if it is practical for you, it has made a world of difference for me. It is close to a perfectly balanced exercise, involving nearly all muscles, low impact, cardio and breath control, and above all it is fun (at least for me and a significant percentage of people).

Re: I’ve been battling cancer last 2 years, but now only have a few days left

#130

Post by vogt »

jacquesm wrote: post #46
bigwavedave wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No joke :/. My cousin recently passed from Hodgkin's Lymphoma- they told her that the vast majority of patients have at least five years, many of whom have at least ten. That was a little over two years ago.

Gah that sucks. The randomness of it all is maddening. I buried an uncle a few months ago, he had a very nasty case of cancer and was in so much pain that we were all so grateful that at least here in NL there was the option to throw in the towel. He was a super nice man and I regret not having more contact with him in my life (my family is rather fragmented). But so much suffering is just too much to inflict on anyb…

Randomness is definitely true. My cousin was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor at two years old. Two! The prognosis was that at absolute best, she would live to 16 years of age.

However! Happily, she is alive, well, and living every day like it’s her last at ~31 now. Been in remission for at least 10-15 years or something, I’m not sure the exact specifics.

But what a horrible, arbitrary curse to put on a 2 year old child. Her family lived with ours for a number of years and I vividly remember her beautiful curly red hair falling out repeatedly. I also remember the “fuse import” (no clue if that’s the actual name) buried in her chest. And all of this happening while she’s learning to walk, talk, and progress through elementary school.

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