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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#151

Post by Aeolun »

aerovistae wrote: post #100
mrexroad wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Several kids in my household. YouTube plays a vastly different role for each, which is frustrating. Oldest goes down rabbit hole of topics of interest - benign useless filler stuff, e.g. mostly pro sports commentary, random things like Disney ride trivia, and other random pop-culture filler. If left unchecked, i wouldn’t be surprised if they spent 8+ hours on YouTube. If moderated, YouTube gives them a fair amount of…

Sounds to me like that younger teen needs an intervention, i.e. more oversight. I wouldn't grit my teeth and bare it on that.

Is that because they’re not doing what you want? Or because it’s bad? They’re still scoring straight A’s in school.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#152

Post by mixmix »

I don’t have kids yet but I’ve been thinking about this problem a lot. I personally don’t consider a no screen policy a very good idea, especially in the Information Age. After all, the technology is not a problem here. Instead, I’m building an intranet with an in-house search engine and a video streaming service which I’m going to populate with Wikipedia articles, my fairly decent collection of non-fiction books, some of world best fiction, movies, music etc. Besides that, no internet access for minors in my house. My fight is not with profanity or obscenity but with tasteless garbage like all that clickbaity ad-filled batshit YouTube is pushing onto me.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#153

Post by sowbug »

edgefield wrote: post #124
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

We’re in a similar boat and have never set limits. Our two kids have learned to self moderate. They both like technology but get bored after a period of time and move on to other activities. We also encourage other activities with cub scouts, play dates, gymnastics, swim lessons and of course occasionally have to be strict with prioritizing homework. I give my partner credit for facilitating most of this. Maybe we’re…

Yes, the forbidden-fruit effect might grease the skids toward addiction.

You and I, as parents, are both fortunate that our respective children received the gift of constant attention. I fully admit that this experience-everything attitude works a lot better when you're actually there to provide choices, knowledge, feedback, etc. Two working parents who hardly see their kids during the week would have a different perspective.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#154

Post by yieldcrv »

theonething wrote: post #136
yieldcrv wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't find this inspirational compared to another comment "it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist." since the temporary enclave won't be effective but I am curious if there is inspiration on how you keep your kids entertained at restaurants. So many parents just find an ipad to be a sedative that its basically a baby sitt…

> since the temporary enclave won't be effective So far it's been very effective. My kid has no interest in screens and likes to do real world stuff instead. I realize I won't be able to shield her from them forever nor would that be a good idea. But these are literally formative years. From age 0 to 3, the human brain grows to 80% of its adult size, 90% by 5. What happens during these years have an outsized impact o…

Glad this is working out for you so far.

> From age 0 to 3, the human brain grows to 80% of its adult size, 90% by 5. What happens during these years have an outsized impact on their rest of their lives.

Do you have a study that affirms these observations are related?

We know that something has an outsized cognitive impact the rest of a person's life at these ages, do you know that brain matter growth size thingy neuron something something is that thing?

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#155

Post by yawboakye »

kapildev wrote: post #127
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

I am an adult and while I was a child, our father turned off TV and cable access. He connected internet for a while but later disconnected that down as well. Needless to say, now I am older, it's very hard for me to moderate my film-viewing and internet-using habits. And I have always been wondering, was it because I wasnt allowed to moderate myself when I was little that I cant rid myself addiction? Nowadays, the on…

Grew up without TV at home. In fact, no electricity at home until mid-teens. Still can’t watch TV to this day. My kind of fun was always out there with kids from the neighborhood running around, kicking a ball, getting tired and getting dirty in the process. As an adult it has been replaced with team sports and physical activities. I want the same experience for my kids. Essentially have fun programs that require them engage in an active way: play music instruments, play a couple of sports, paint, spend a lot of time outdoors.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#156

Post by sowbug »

kapildev wrote: post #127
sowbug wrote: post #98

Parent of three ranging from tween to college age. We have never had limits on anything. Screen time/content unrestricted. Probably dozens of times, maybe hundreds, we have had "the talk" about how there's a lot of weird shit in the world, internet included, and it's better to know about that stuff and how to deal with it than to create a temporary secure enclave at home where it doesn't exist. We especially didn't w…

I am an adult and while I was a child, our father turned off TV and cable access. He connected internet for a while but later disconnected that down as well. Needless to say, now I am older, it's very hard for me to moderate my film-viewing and internet-using habits. And I have always been wondering, was it because I wasnt allowed to moderate myself when I was little that I cant rid myself addiction? Nowadays, the on…

You don't need to be so hard on yourself. You clearly like to read enough to make it happen. Many kids these days will never voluntarily read a book for the rest of their lives.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#157

Post by smeej »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #70
nkohari wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What works for some doesn't work for everyone. Parents should do what works for them and their kids, without judgement.

I do agree that different kids are different. Ours were often good. However I absolutely did not tolerate poor behavior either. If things got dicey (rarely) I escorted one outside until the storm passed. Never took longer than five minutes. Turning them into zombies instead never occurred to me.

This is such an important note. Of course kids get overwhelmed. Adults get overwhelmed. One of the main reasons kids melt down over it is because they're not just overwhelmed, but trapped.

An adult can excuse themselves, step out for some fresh air, go to the bathroom, or even go home. Knowing how and when to do that is an important skill.

Kids need that outlet too, and they need their parents to be attuned to their needs and help them manage.

If a kid is melting down at a restaurant, they need help from an adult who ought to have some idea what the child needs and how to provide it.

Too many parents seem to think their own desire for an uninterrupted meal is more important than their child's basic biological need to be able to get out of an overwhelming situation. It's not fair to trap someone somewhere they don't want to be and then blame them for becoming upset.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#158

Post by smeej »

Aeolun wrote: post #151
aerovistae wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds to me like that younger teen needs an intervention, i.e. more oversight. I wouldn't grit my teeth and bare it on that.

Is that because they’re not doing what you want? Or because it’s bad? They’re still scoring straight A’s in school.

There's more to being a successful human than straight A's in school, and for some people the A's are easy.

I think if the parent thinks the agreement they made was stupid and is now a detriment to their child's well-being, they should edit it.

Acknowledge having made a mistake. Don't pretend you were right from the start. That's an important part of the learning process, and your kid needs to know it's safe to make mistakes and adjust course later, that you're not stuck with something just because of one decision in the past.

Be clear on what concerns you and why (especially be sure that it's a concern for the child's well-being and not some need of your own that you're trying to meet by changing your kid) and have a conversation with this young person about it.

This is a growth opportunity, not a lost cause.

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