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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#1
I'm using "internet addiction" here in a loose sense. Think of all modern hyper-engaging online services: TikTok, MMORPGs, social media, video games, porn, etc.

I think HN users might be especially aware of how addicting these can be, so do you take any precautions to help your children avoid falling prey to them?

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#2
Enable them to do more real-life stuff. Kids see technology as a bottomless pit of fulfillment, which is mostly true if your alternatives are frolicking outside or wishing you could buy something cool. If you instead provide them the means to make/do something they're proud of, they'll probably have a healthier relationship with social media and the internet. Get them a sewing kit, buy that bin of used Legos on Ebay, or get the breadboarding stuff they keep asking about. If you give a kid an iPhone, they're going to be constantly attached to it simply on the basis that it's the most expensive thing in their possession.

Obviously though, you're not going to protect your children from themselves. IMO, the best you can do as a parent is teach them healthy means of self-expression.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#3
I don't them use my devices outside of school projects and keep them busy doing things outside the house.

I realize this is easier for me than most as my oldest is only 13, we homeschool, and we live in a very rural area with high community engagement. Meaning the social pressure to be online just isn't currently there.

Once they have a job and can buy their own devices they can do what they please. Hopefully, the disdainful tone I use when explaining social media companies to them fully sinks in by then.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#4
Screen time limits, and try to offer lots of things to do. This is a lot easier with disposable income. But without a simple bicycle and nearby park can go a long way.

But the games, videos and internet are very addictive: when I was young it was just the dopamine hit of playing a game. But now it is culture. Friends at school are on Roblox, Discord etc. This makes it more challenging and more fights and begging etc.

A hard one. As a parent a small part of the role is to be the mean unpopular person sometimes ;-)

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#5
This is something I think about a lot with 3 kids. I personally believe that we need a balance between allowing devices/internet (because this is 2022) and restricting few things.

For me, social media is an absolute No and I will fight my kids until I can't. For example, there is no way I am going to let my 8 year old do Tick Tok or Snapchat and what not. It is way too toxic even for adults let alone a child who has not fully developed mentally and emotionally yet. However, we restrict by talking to them openly about why we don't think it is a good idea and then show them that we are still giving them these other freedoms. Most kids appreciate that if you are honest instead of just saying No.

I don't think you can restrict using apps or parental controls because those can be bypassed once kids get smarter. We have 0 parental controls on the devices they use. I want my kids to learn the difference between good and bad by having access and freedom but the right information.

On the flip side, we don't restrict them from doing iPad/laptop to play certain types of games (.e.g word puzzle) or even minecraft etc. We don't restrict them from doing things on internet like google slides for creativity etc. We don't restrict them from watching Youtube or movies for kids under our supervision.

The other thing is to not give them too much opportunity to do devices/internet. If they are busy with an activity, they don't care. If they have nothing to do, they "get bored" and want to be on their devices. So create enough opportunity for them to do activities ideally something that doesn't involve internet/devices etc. So far, our kids have been very good with boundaries and the freedom they have to do things. I know that if you restrict everything, that won't work.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#7
You teach them about moderation, you give them the tools to make their own choices, and you protect them from the obvious/bad outcomes that would cause irreparable harm.

So like, add a network filter for gore/porn up to a certain age, and try to do a good job of showing how to invest their time as a reward function rather than the instant gratification path.

But ultimately, babying them will prevent them from growing, and the moment they get out of your clutches (how they'll see it) they'll binge/overindulge and not have anyone to stop the irreversible mistakes from happening.

Limiting technology access creates a perverse relationship between the kid and tech. If you want your kid to see technology as a tool, not as a reward, you can't treat it like a reward. It's super easy, but it sets the wrong example.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#9
After having spent a fair amount of time using various different tools to attempt to control their screen time, my conclusion is that it was a mistake to have any screens in the house in the first place.

A library of great books, good games, craft and art materials, and a collection of musical instruments would have been the best thing for my kids I'm thinking. Screens just make them addicted and miserable.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#10
My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc.

We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, sing, physical activities, arts and crafts and free play with toys. At home, we expect her to be able entertain herself with toys, books, backyard, etc.

It's not perfect, but at a parenting class, I heard screens described as crack cocaine for kids, so I'm keeping mine away from that shit for as long as I can. She seems to be doing fine without them and though she's curious when she sees one, she doesn't ask/whine for them.[0] I don't even plan to expose educational app games to her. So many other richer ways to learn in 3D space. I highly doubt she'll fall behind for lack of exposure to screens.

[0] The most screen exposure she gets is with others. People these days don't seem to be able to socialize and interact without their phones.

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