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No Hello: A New Wave

sbmueller.github.io

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Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#51

Post by gyulai »

geraldwhen wrote: post #50
gyulai wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The hello people? rofl ...there must be some psychology student out there to whom this thread is an absolute gold mine for their Ph.D. thesis. ...or maybe a standup comedian.

People are telling you that they find your behavior disruptive and rude, yet you continue to discredit their feelings. You cannot control how a recipient receives your message.

> You cannot control how a recipient receives your message.

My point exactly. Only problem: If A hurts B's feelings, that doesn't automatically mean B has the moral high ground and A is therefore in the wrong.

If B plays the "hurt feelings" card after A has done nothing to give offense other than start a conversation with "hello" in a text chat where they had no way of discerning B's emotional state, then that's the best example I've encountered yet, of a situation where A's hurt feelings clearly seem like A's problem.

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#52

Post by jcelerier »

JackFr wrote: post #44
gardenhedge wrote: post #30

My coworkers have it down to a tee (the wrong way that is): Co-worker: hello Me: Hi, what's up? Co-worker: got 5 mins? Me: Sure Co-worker: rings me to ask a question that could have been a single chat message In isolation, this would be fine but this can happen multiple times a day.

I used to be infuriated with colleagues who felt the need to preface questions with “Question…” and then ask the question. Just ask the damned question. I should be able to figure out that it’s a question. Now I am more patient.

It's not about the question, it's about the interaction. I scream internally everytime I get messages without "hello" on a new day, to me this is so rude

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#53

Post by prepend »

Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone just wrote letters?

I suspect the author is annoyed when the cashier says “hello, how are you?” before they start ringing them up.

This is just culture. Being upset about it is an inefficient waste of energy.

I think people frequently say hello to ease people into their request. To note that we’re all human and more than just doing jobs. Also to prove and see if you’re there and available for an interruption. If you don’t respond to “hello,” then perhaps instead of messaging they will call or email or wait.

If they wanted async, they would just email.

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#54

Post by jemmyw »

I used to do the nohello thing but since seeing this popup a few years ago I switched back to hello to be annoying. I've got an instinctive reaction whenever I'm told what to do to try doing the opposite.

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#55

Post by flagsrule »

gyulai wrote: post #51
geraldwhen wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People are telling you that they find your behavior disruptive and rude, yet you continue to discredit their feelings. You cannot control how a recipient receives your message.

> You cannot control how a recipient receives your message. My point exactly. Only problem: If A hurts B's feelings, that doesn't automatically mean B has the moral high ground and A is therefore in the wrong. If B plays the "hurt feelings" card after A has done nothing to give offense other than start a conversation with "hello" in a text chat where they had no way of discerning B's emotional state, then that's the…

The unspoken context is that this goes beyond saying "hello".

In my experience, hello people usually present with the following comorbidities:

- inability to learn and retain new information.

- inability to own their work and take responsibility from end-to-end.

- tendency to push their own work onto other people and become a victim when the other person doesn't do exactly what they want.

Maybe the psychology student you mentioned could look into this phenomenon for their thesis?

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#56

Post by [deleted] »

lo_zamoyski wrote: post #32
bambataa wrote: post #24

I’ve seen colleagues share this or link to it in their Slack status. It feels a bit… odd to me. Yeah it’s maybe a bit annoying when people do this, but does it really need a whole campaign website? Not everyone is going to communicate in exactly the way you like.

Yeah, it is suggestive of "first-world problems" and a bizarrely rigid personality (and a lack of a sense of humor). (According to the "About" page, the author is "specialized in software engineering and digital signal processing". Perhaps a case of déformation professionnelle?)

[deleted]

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#57

Post by gyulai »

flagsrule wrote: post #55
gyulai wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You cannot control how a recipient receives your message. My point exactly. Only problem: If A hurts B's feelings, that doesn't automatically mean B has the moral high ground and A is therefore in the wrong. If B plays the "hurt feelings" card after A has done nothing to give offense other than start a conversation with "hello" in a text chat where they had no way of discerning B's emotional state, then that's the…

The unspoken context is that this goes beyond saying "hello". In my experience, hello people usually present with the following comorbidities: - inability to learn and retain new information. - inability to own their work and take responsibility from end-to-end. - tendency to push their own work onto other people and become a victim when the other person doesn't do exactly what they want. Maybe the psychology student…

...wow, and you got all of that from "hello".

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#58

Post by gyulai »

gyulai wrote: post #57
flagsrule wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The unspoken context is that this goes beyond saying "hello". In my experience, hello people usually present with the following comorbidities: - inability to learn and retain new information. - inability to own their work and take responsibility from end-to-end. - tendency to push their own work onto other people and become a victim when the other person doesn't do exactly what they want. Maybe the psychology student…

...wow, and you got all of that from "hello".

Also, not sure if you saw my other comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33933186

I already established that (a) I'm one of those hello people. (b) I'm allowing this conversation to change my behaviour, based on the fact that I simply never had any idea that people could take offence from a "hello". If your definition of "learn" is "coming around to your point of view", that would seem to make me a counterexample to your psychological typology.

But it still rubs me the wrong way to think that this society is leaving the business of "creation of cultural norms" to crybabies. Show me a group that's complaining about being said "hello" to, and I'll show you a group that needs to check their privilege.

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#59

Post by flagsrule »

gyulai wrote: post #57
flagsrule wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The unspoken context is that this goes beyond saying "hello". In my experience, hello people usually present with the following comorbidities: - inability to learn and retain new information. - inability to own their work and take responsibility from end-to-end. - tendency to push their own work onto other people and become a victim when the other person doesn't do exactly what they want. Maybe the psychology student…

...wow, and you got all of that from "hello".

No, I got all that from my multiple years of repeated interactions with "hello" people and noticing a consistent pattern.

Maybe you don't fit that mold and just like to say hello and you are a good coworker without all the bad traits I mentioned. Didn't mean to make this personal... just sharing my observations of the past.

Re: No Hello: A New Wave

#60

Post by sam_goody »

panki27 wrote: post #2

So this is a direct copy of https://www.nohello.com/ ?

I would have closed nohello.com without reading.

I don't have time to wait for their fancy scroller at the top of the page before getting to the punch. A page with so many sections, you have to read it all to know what the point is.

The OP realizes that you should not waste time on a fancy hello, but get straight to the message.

;)

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