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No one wants to have kids anymore

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Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#181

Post by DonHopkins »

snapcaster wrote: post #138
DonHopkins wrote: post #65

How is this not good news for humanity? As many people as he annoyed, RMS had a point. http://www.art.net/studios/hackers/hopkins/Don/text/rms-vs-d...

I like RMS being out there and having the opinions he does, but please don't act like he is some great role model for men or humans. He's a weird nerd who doesn't attract mates and alienates his allies. Woe be unto any man who tries to be like him, you'll end up unhappy and considered a loser

Where did you get that I was acting like he is some great role model?

If you read the entire thread, you will see that I made fun of him 29 years ago by feeding his own words into his own psychiatric diagnosis program (Emacs Doctor), which recognized his name, and criticized him for having hangups and inhibitions.

My point was that in spite of his acerbic but hilarious biting sense of humor, he has a valid point about natalism, despite being annoying and confrontational on purpose to make a point, not that he's a great role model.

>You people just have no sense of humor. I thought the original message was pretty funny and made a few good points (if it didn't, nobody would have been offended). I guess it's a shock for smug self-righteous breeders to learn that not everybody in the world thinks babies are cute and special. -Wayne A. Christopher

>Finally, someone read the message as it was intended to be read. -RMS

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#182

Post by criddell »

jcpst wrote: post #62
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

> If you’re focused on these experiences as the defining characteristics of being a parent, you’ll completely miss the big picture. Right. Because that’s the easy part, when they’re babies. At first I didn’t believe my friend’s dad when he told me it actually gets more difficult when they get older.

Babies are the worst. They take so much from you and you get so little back. Toddlerhood is when things start to get fun.

Babies cry for every reason and figuring out what’s wrong (if anything) was stressful. I felt that once my kids were able to communicate, everything got easier and waaaaaay more fun.

My kids are in college now and I’m so happy and proud of them but at the same time I realize that my parenting job is wrapping up. When I think about the past 20 years I’m a little sad because I should have been a much better parent. The deserved better. It’s also astonishing how quickly two decades passed.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#184

Post by juliendorra »

If you are a curious person, someone generally fascinated by how the world works, raising children is an endless, powerful chance to understand what makes us as we are. (Not to mean that you should treat your children as experiments! Just that it’s one of the by definition unique benefit of raising children, you get to see their humanity unfurl)

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#185

Post by skinnymuch »

wil421 wrote: post #100
thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #36

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

If you only care about yourself go for it. I guess it’s somewhat sobering realizing you’re gonna be alone and your genetic material will be a dead end. I have 3 kids 3 and under and probably got 4 hours of sleep last night. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. My kids are not treated like a drain on my potential investments. Sure I can’t do my hobbies all the time but I can take my kids fishing and kayaking. The trips ar…

> If you only care about yourself go for it. I guess it’s somewhat sobering realizing you’re gonna be alone and your genetic material will be a dead end.

I don’t think your post makes you look like you’re the one who cares about others unlike who you’re responding to.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#186

Post by fnbr »

throwayyy479087 wrote: post #60
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Having a kid is the most fun I’ve ever had. Used to go to raves, done bunch of crazy sexual stuff, as well as most drugs under the sun. There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

This is so true. I can’t believe how much I love having a kid. And mine’s only 6 months old. I’m beyond excited to actually do things with him, like run around with him, or go skiing/ride bikes.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#187

Post by rendall »

notch656a wrote: post #119
throwayyy479087 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a kid is the most fun I’ve ever had. Used to go to raves, done bunch of crazy sexual stuff, as well as most drugs under the sun. There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

Is this satire? I have a child and the monotonous boredom of dealing with a toddler forces me to suppress the distant memories of freedom to go to raves, fight in foreign militia, get lost in stormy mountains, hitchhike across the plains...

Once toddler phase passes it does get better, I promise!

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#188

Post by skinnymuch »

meindnoch wrote: post #168

One morning last week, I’ve noticed that my wife was walking around the house in unusual silence. I thought I might have upset her with something, but couldn’t really recall any transgression that would have made her mad. Then after a few minutes of this, she dropped a pregnancy test in front of me, with a “+” sign shown on the little display. Looks like I’m going to be a father! I knew that this could happen sooner…

You should still do ketamine with your friend!

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#189

Post by notch656a »

WaitWaitWha wrote: post #153
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

As I am getting older, I see young couples told to wait till they are settled and are in a better situation to have their token child. If you want children , do not wait. It will never be 'better situation'. There will be always some reason, mostly financial not to have them.

Pretty consistently research has found waiting until at least roughly 30 or so leads to greater average life satisfaction for parents. I'm not going to provide a rigorous or even cited defense here but I spent several days sifting through the studies before coming to this conclusion. I encourage the reader to also study the journals before coming to their own conclusion.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#190

Post by lotsofpulp »

dham wrote: post #179
WaitWaitWha wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As I am getting older, I see young couples told to wait till they are settled and are in a better situation to have their token child. If you want children , do not wait. It will never be 'better situation'. There will be always some reason, mostly financial not to have them.

A guy I worked with told me this advice and I wish I listened. We still had a kid early relatively to my other friends, I was 29 and wife was 27. It's better to be chasing around young kids when your 24 vs 34 I'll tell you that. But of course you're only as old as you feel.

I had my first at 32, and that was earlier than my friends. And when I pick mine up at daycare, I feel like I am the youngest. But I also do not feel noticeably worse off physically in mid 30s compared to mid 20s.

I disagree that there will never be a better situation. A couple with secure cash flows and in demand talents can optimize when they have kids to accommodate goals (for example, their preferred living situation, career goals, etc).

Things like moving, and working strenuous roles while having kids seems less than ideal. Of course, if you want 5 kids then waiting is not an option, but if you want 2, then there is some room for maneuvering.

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