The technique I use if I ever feel this when speaking or playing gigs is to embody fully the idea that it’s not me on stage or about to go on stage anymore, I am now a character that resembles whatever that audience wants to see. That really helps because now you can hide those insecurities (that are normal) behind a persona.
Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
21–30 of 78 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#22[dead]
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#23To add to the rest of the comments, I have found that not wearing headphones in public (while walking around or in public transit) helped a lot.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#24I'm similar: I find large groups easy, small ones more difficult. I always think it is because the people in large groups are anonymous.
This is, as you say, social anxiety. And you might be able to get better with some practice. Local theater, choir, or other hobbies might prove to help or simply doing things that get you out of your comfort zone more often. Basically, this is just training yourself to act differently and gets you more used to small anxiety. Of course, a lot of the practice won't have the added stress of your career so it might or might not pay off.
The other side of this might be some help through professionals. A therapist might be able to give you some spectacular tips that me, an untrained random internet human, won't know. A GP might be able to prescribe something to help with the anxiety.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#25You can improve your body language by improving your body.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#26As someone who had gone from severe shyness to comfortably talking in front of a variety of audiences, the simple truth is that the more you do it the better you get.
As far as I know there aren't any clever tricks that don't involve drugs.
There one positive is that practice compounds. 20 talks isn't double the experience of 10 talks it's 10 times more. The change for me was quite sudden. Going from very nervous to reasonably comfortable quickly. I spoke to other performers and they said their experience was similar.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#27The technique I use if I ever feel this when speaking or playing gigs is to embody fully the idea that it’s not me on stage or about to go on stage anymore, I am now a character that resembles whatever that audience wants to see. That really helps because now you can hide those insecurities (that are normal) behind a persona.
I really think you are on to something. This technique is used widely by performing artists. Your comment shouldn’t be underestimated in my view.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#28> Any one who has overcome this fear Yes, but you're not going to like the answer: I stopped caring. Not because that is the best solution, but the only one that worked for me with my limited skill set. I focus on the topic and blatantly assume that my contribution outweighs my presentational shortcomings. People keep seeking my input despite that, so the sum must be a net positive or everybody is just crazy. I read…
Related to "not caring" is "realizing that others don't notice near as much as you do".
It's like hearing your own heartbeat as you're trying to fall asleep. No one else can hear it; they also don't notice slight pauses nearly as much as you do. Take the time you need and plow through it.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#29I would suggest talking to a therapist about how you are feeling. A therapist can work with you on strategies to overcome this.
Re: Ask HN: How to overcome stage fear / social anxiety
#30Psychologically, self-consciousness loads heavily on your neuroticism (big five)
You are self concious, because of fear. Your fear may be because of overtuned threat perception due to your personality, but also external factors.
You need to stabilise this part of yourself to stop feeling overwhelmed.
1. Make sure you keep your caffiene consumption CONSISTENT and as low as possible. None is best, but dont go not drinking any if you have 4 cups a day. 2. CONSISTENT sleep, achieved by rising at exactly the same time daily and immediately eating a full brealfast with fats and protiens and fewer carbs. 3. CONSISTENT practice at speaking in a manner that is easy for you, so on a subject you know, to a small, familiar audience (teams call with direct reports perhaps). Maintain mindfulness of just one person, or focus on speaking to one person in the crowd when you do, and stop focussing on yourself. 4. Remember you are a highly competent individiual.