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Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

journals.sagepub.com

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Re: Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

#2
"Contrary to people’s forecasts, they were more likable the more they spoke, and their partners formed global rather than differentiated impressions."

In my experience, reticence to talk is mostly about fear of saying something stupid, which generally happens when you don't have anything to say but your trying to say something. Assigning people to talk for abitrary portions of the conversation might just cause you to say more stupid things. So, this is indeed a surprising result.

Re: Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

#5
One of the often repeated pearls of wisdom from How to Win Friends and Influence People[0] by Dale Carnegie, is people like to talk about themselves and they’ll like you more if you let them do that in a conversation. I’m paraphrasing. This research seems to counter that.

[0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influ...

Re: Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

#7
post #3

An overview of the paper by the author: https://theconversation.com/people-think-they-should-talk-le...

Does it have the full text? It’s a good journal but there have been many methods problems in psychology research. It strikes me as a finding that would be very sensitive to sample issues and other potential confounds.

Re: Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

#8
post #5

One of the often repeated pearls of wisdom from How to Win Friends and Influence People[0] by Dale Carnegie, is people like to talk about themselves and they’ll like you more if you let them do that in a conversation. I’m paraphrasing. This research seems to counter that. [0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influ...

I believe the conversational meta has shifted in the last 80 years. But more than that, people like to talk about themselves IFF they feel safe and unjudged.

Re: Mistaken beliefs about how much to talk in conversations

#9
post #2

"Contrary to people’s forecasts, they were more likable the more they spoke, and their partners formed global rather than differentiated impressions." In my experience, reticence to talk is mostly about fear of saying something stupid, which generally happens when you don't have anything to say but your trying to say something. Assigning people to talk for abitrary portions of the conversation might just cause you to…

Which is is when you can form an opinion for someone. Will they say something stupid or offensive?

When people let their guard down is when you get a glimpse into them.

Which I guess is why alcohol and similar substances have been used for centuries.

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