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The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

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Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#361

Post by progrus »

bradlys wrote: post #336
progrus wrote: post #284

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I never really got physically bullied because this was just understood in our house, so I was confident enough with the option to throw down that it didn’t happen. There was also the fact that my parents spent beyond their means for “good” schools - but I was a tiny kid and otherwise would have made an ideal target. I think two scuffles overall, both were the first and last time, and one of the bullies became my frie…

Man - you grew up in such a sheltered world. The real world is much more cruel for most of us. You might have said you were a "tiny kid" but you were truly never at odds. I was constantly beat up, physically, until I was 16. It wasn't just by one kid, it was often by multiple. This was even in front of teachers, principles, etc. They watched and did nothing. Other kids watched and did nothing . We don't all get to li…

Dude, you had a problem way above and beyond what is being discussed here, and way above and beyond what most boys face. Sorry.

I hope you’ve been able to deal with the trauma, and if not, I sincerely hope you find some peace with the world soon. If you can get into a martial art, that’s the best suggestion I can offer. It will help you heal.

Also, you have to realize that insulting me and dismissing my experience just because you were so badly abused is another kind of bullying. Don’t fall into that trap.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#362

Post by dionidium »

creata wrote: post #321
dionidium wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This presupposes that bullying is always explained by something environmental or that it's learned behavior. But what if bullying is just fun for some people? What if human beings have differing innate levels of aggression, empathy, and tolerance? What if some people see bullying and feel a little pit in their stomach -- fear, disgust, anger -- and what if others simply don't? "The blank slate" conception of the worl…

If you're going to make a claim like "'the blank slate' conception of the world continues to mislead us", it wouldn't hurt to have more than a series of what-ifs.

"Nature vs. nurture" is in the public conception a live debate, but it really isn't. The data are in. If you're genuinely interested, Pinker's "The Blank Slate" is a great overview of the argument for the layman.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#363

Post by anonymousDan »

P5fRxh5kUvp2th wrote: post #228
s1artibartfast wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If there was something that you could have done yourself to prevent or stop it, would you refuse to do it? If there are skills that could be taught to children to prevent their own bullying, would you deny them?

I would take it 1 step farther, if you're not teaching your children how to deal with bullies themselves then you're harming them for life. There's a point at which the child cannot possibly deal with it and you as the parent must step in to protect them, but most of the time if a child learns how to deal with bullies you don't need to.

What would you suggest to teach them? I was never really bullied but worry now about my own son and what to do if he is.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#364

Post by jvm___ »

SoftTalker wrote: post #201
jvm___ wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"If I excel, I will be bullied" or "I need to bring things with me to parties/events because people don't value me for just being me"

What? Bringing beer/wine/snacks to parties is just polite.

Needing to bring something special to any sort of event, bringing too many things - just in case.

It's overcompensating for years of not feeling like you are welcome, and years of only being acknowledged when you had a desirable item or knowledge, otherwise you were a person non grata.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#365

Post by noptd »

hateful wrote: post #222
thewebcount wrote: post #212

I sometimes feel like I'm in some alternate universe when I read stuff like this: > These new findings indicate that interventions should also focus on supporting victims of bullying and helping them build resilience; ... > These studies suggest that public health interventions could aim at preventing children from becoming the target of bullying behaviours from an early age. Have we considered ways to make bullies n…

There's a term for this: Victim Blaming. It's one thing to not be so sensitive when it comes to jokes or teasing, but this requires a maturity that a child does not yet have. A feel as though a lot of people that say those things haven't been victims of bullying, or maybe, at least, not the a certain extent that others were (I know I'm treading very close to a No True Scotsman with that statement). I was bullied when…

>There's a term for this: Victim Blaming

What a ridiculous take. Helping people build the skills needed to defend from being bullied is nothing like victim blaming, at all.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#366

Post by noptd »

PuppyTailWags wrote: post #358
dionidium wrote: post #323

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an unscientific platitude. No more or less.

No, this is true. Statistically, we know many serial killers are actually victims of brain trauma as children (usually through being violently beaten) and we know traumatic brain injury can cause aggression. In fact there's a predictive relationship between childhood trauma and juvenile psychopathy. [0] 0. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29598432/ " Results indicate that psychopathy is significantly correlated with c…

Following up with an argument full of terms like "many" and "can" is not enough to support an absolute claim in either direction.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#367

Post by arwhatever »

kingofheroes wrote: post #62

When I was coming up, especially in middle school, we were always told that you should just ignore bullies and they would go away. This, of course, never actually worked. And anyone who did fight back against their bullies were punished just as severely, if not moreso if they swung first, as the bully. This entire approach was complete BS and only served to enable bullies because they now know that their victims eith…

Anecdote to go with everyone else's: punching a bully in the nose in the 9th grade wound up bringing about an immediate, universal and permanent end to anyone bullying me in school.

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#368

Post by techdragon »

progrus wrote: post #303
deathanatos wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also, if the fight is fair. It was never 1 v 1, in my childhood, it was 1 v n . Even if you do catch the bully in a 1 v 1 fight, will the next fight be 1 v 1?

The ideal situation is with as many bystanders watching as possible. That sucks if you have a gang after you, but perhaps it can be avoided in the first place by not being an easy target. I do agree that this won’t work in all situations.

In High School, lined up waiting for an elective class, dozens of witnesses... I took this advice... I stood up to a bully, and since they were already "up in my grill" they were able to sucker punch me, right in the diaphragm, without having to raise their arm and make a big show, fist quick raise to ~90 degree bent elbow and jabbed strait forward.. leaving me struggling to stand and winded for several minutes... and because they were so close, no one clearly saw what they did... leading to dozens of people being, no witnesses at all... I changed classes.

For everyone that thinks this advice always works... some bullies aren't cowards they're worse... they are arrogant assholes that think they can get away with what they are doing, or are entitled to do it... they may not back down, and may just get worse when confronted.

... Be careful

Re: The persistent and pervasive impact of bullying in childhood and adolescence

#370

Post by qwerpy »

a1pulley wrote: post #251
corobo wrote: post #52

Heh, decent timing. My last CBT session ended with me realising one of my issues may be a lasting effect of bullying. Essentially I was trying to find out why I procrastinate, beyond "it's just the ADHD lol" Boiled it down and down and down until we hit the core of the issue and realised I don't want to poke my head up and ship code/sites/ideas/etc because I believe I'll be bullied for it. In school doing anything th…

Does anyone have experience with going to a "school within a school" for "gifted and talented" kids? I was trying to figure out why I don't remember any bullying from my middle school or high school, when it dawned on me that I might have been insulated from it by taking classes exclusively with gifted and talented kids —i.e., kids from stable/whole/educated households. I went to a high school where kids came from a…

Chiming in with my anecdote. Took all honors classes throughout high school, so I pretty much never mixed with kids outside of that bubble. Was one of the few Asians in my high school in the small midwestern town, so I'm sure there was potential for bullying. But I wasn't bullied, and I credit some of that to the tiered class system.

This is one reason I'm up in arms about public school districts near me shutting down their gifted programs because they made certain not academically-inclined demographics feel bad about not being represented. So now, kids in my demographic get to feel bad about being bullied.

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