211–220 of 449 posts
Being rather contrary here, but is there any evidence that bullying actually improves some people's lives? As a victim of childhood bullying, the experience was awful, but I learned a thing or two as well.
> These new findings indicate that interventions should also focus on supporting victims of bullying and helping them build resilience;
...
> These studies suggest that public health interventions could aim at preventing children from becoming the target of bullying behaviours from an early age.
Have we considered ways to make bullies not want to bully? That seems way more productive to me. I'm mean, I'm all for teaching kids resilience and self-reliance, but at some point, we have to get to the root of the problem, which is the bullies and why they want to bully other kids and stop trying to just fix the kids who get bullied.
My parents basically said “If you keep getting bullied, assault the bully, try to draw blood, and we’ll take you out for ice cream if you get suspended.” Highly recommended for any parents of boys out there - it is the best way to address this problem.
I mean - great advice if you’re as big as the bully. As a kid who was often smaller than kids 2-3 younger than him all the way to his senior year in high school… Can’t say that advice would go over well.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
An interesting approach I read - I think it was a novel, honestly, but may have been an autobiography - was that fights were not just tolerated but sanctioned, with one big proviso: In the gym, with boxing gloves and headgear on, and fists only. Going down or taking a knee ends the fight. Let 'em work out the tension, but with very minimal chance of hurting anything.
I was a peaceful kid and no good at gym class, which played some part in why I was bullied. What benefit would I have received from officially sanctioning my regular physical humiliation?
And of course both sides must agree, you can't be forced in to it.
Heh, decent timing. My last CBT session ended with me realising one of my issues may be a lasting effect of bullying. Essentially I was trying to find out why I procrastinate, beyond "it's just the ADHD lol" Boiled it down and down and down until we hit the core of the issue and realised I don't want to poke my head up and ship code/sites/ideas/etc because I believe I'll be bullied for it. In school doing anything th…
I wonder if private schools are a way that rich kids can afford to be different but poor kids can't. See https://sfstandard.com/business/inside-ftx-founder-sam-bankm... Would rich kids be facing much more competition for elite spots from poor but smart kids if bullying wasn't part of the curriculum in the public schools? Given that only 10% of kids get to go to a school where dignity is assured, it could be that 90%…
One of the huge problems in schools, as well as in cyberspace is bullying in social ostracism (shunning etc) as well as beating. It trains people to 'shed water' in their actions. Surrender to bullies, yield to their demands and otherwise 'toady' to them. Anyone who objects or fights back feels the weight of the online or schoolyard pack members. This is, I feel, exacerbated by the relentless increase in the cost of…
Lord of the Flies was fiction though, not only that, it was bullshit. when it happened in reality, the exact opposite of the book happened: https://medium.com/illumination-curated/real-life-lord-of-th... .
I was bullied pretty severely as a kid. So bad in fact I was put on medication just to deal with it. I was a weaker kid when I was younger owing to the fact I was sick a lot. In America there is a concept of "zero tolerance" that keeps the bullied compliant and the bullies in charge. It was not until I started to get very violent that the bullying stopped. I would fight at a moments notice even sometimes in classroom…
Based on your virulent tone I suspect you still harbor strong resentment against your childhood bullies. I somewhat get that, I was bullied too and I still hate those kids. As an adult however I realize that my bullies were actually abused children who had a rough time at home and took it out on me at school. > When they break a bullies nose/arm/etc and get suspended you should not only encourage them to continue you…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wonder if private schools are a way that rich kids can afford to be different but poor kids can't. See https://sfstandard.com/business/inside-ftx-founder-sam-bankm... Would rich kids be facing much more competition for elite spots from poor but smart kids if bullying wasn't part of the curriculum in the public schools? Given that only 10% of kids get to go to a school where dignity is assured, it could be that 90%…
Private schools are an instance of opportunity hoarding, and "opportunity" should be understood in a number of ways. The opportunity to buy a certain level of freedom from bullying in favour of a "selective" crowd, for instance. Though I doubt there is less bullying in private schools, more that it manifests in different ways; if I had to hypothesize, I might suppose the bullying is of a different intensity though.
Someone I know used to brag about the stunt he pulled to embarrass the private high school he went to and I shut him up pretty harshly about it because I had suffered so much in the public schools and how I would have appreciated the privilege that he got more than he did.
Of course he had his own problems including a struggle with alcoholism, getting beaten up by the cops, etc. and today he is a tenant and I am his landlord so it's not like I didn't catch some breaks.
I sometimes feel like I'm in some alternate universe when I read stuff like this: > These new findings indicate that interventions should also focus on supporting victims of bullying and helping them build resilience; ... > These studies suggest that public health interventions could aim at preventing children from becoming the target of bullying behaviours from an early age. Have we considered ways to make bullies n…
Stop trying to apply feels-right reasoning to complex medical topics. You’re out of your wheelhouse.
I sometimes feel like I'm in some alternate universe when I read stuff like this: > These new findings indicate that interventions should also focus on supporting victims of bullying and helping them build resilience; ... > These studies suggest that public health interventions could aim at preventing children from becoming the target of bullying behaviours from an early age. Have we considered ways to make bullies n…
It is entirely possible that the want to bully can be reduced but cannot be prevented. Of course people should do what they can to prevent it on the bully side, but it is reasonable to also consider other factors.