I got on meds for ADHD and they objectively didn’t help that much. I also felt like my pulse and emotions were greatly elevated in confrontational situations to an uncomfortable extent (though caffiene was involved). The other aspect was that it was almost $300/month for a prescription. In social situations they did help a bit. Any impact on productivity was minor. I’d also say right after the meds kicked in I would…
My therapist obviously can't prescribe, but I have a fantastic relationship with them, and they did convey that they think I'd probably be a better fit for non-stimulant ADHD meds based on some of my other behaviors. My doc, however, started me on Adderall ER because I guess that's the standard medication to start ADHD patients on.
But I got some crappy side effects, kind of how you're describing: elevated heart rate, some nausea (especially if I didn't eat enough). My therapist was worried about some of the emotional intensity stuff, especially with stress and caffeine, but I felt like I was managing that okay.
In any case, my doc wanted to start putting me on _additional_ meds to counteract the side effects. Therapist was still prodding for non-stimulant (but I'm a bit skeptical of SNRIs in general, maybe a bad bias...)
But I really pushed to just....reduce the Adderall dosage. Doc knocked it down twice, I ended up at _half_ the initial dose, and now it's just _awesome_. Most of those side effects have gone away, I'm still getting the benefits I want out of it, and unlike a lot of other meds, I can choose on a daily basis whether or not I feel like I'm going to need it.
Obviously, I'm not your doctor, and I'm sure you did your due diligence far beyond what I'm offering here. But I did want to share my experience in successfully shaping medical decisions with multiple expert and personal inputs. Ultimately, I landed on a medication path that's been EXTREMELY beneficial for my happiness and productivity, and it was one that wasn't initially suggested by either professional.