Tell HN: If you have trouble focusing on projects/meetings, see a psychatrist

I have been a chronic procrastinator all my life, and I could never truly focus on classes, meetings, and everyday conversations.

You could talk to me, but I would only half listen or get distracted for a few seconds here or there. I would start personal or work projects and get super stuck for unknown reasons. I'd never be able to finish a book unless it was genuinely thrilling. And I'd never been able to complete any online classes I took.

Due to life circumstances, this problem got much worse in the past year or so. I couldn't pay attention to my spouse or my kids, I couldn't remember to do simple stuff, I routinely lost things such as my glasses, wallet, and keys, and all of this created a lot of unnecessary stress.

This sort of unfocused behavior always occurred, but it got much more frequent and worse to the point of generating a lot of frustration for me and those around me.

Then it got to the point I could not finish projects, start tasks I didn't like, and so on. This lack of focus almost impacted my work, yet no one seemed to notice, as I could work on things that didn't block anyone.

Following advice from my wife, friends, father, and here on HN, I looked for a psychiatrist to understand what was going on. After a lengthy consultation, the doctor told me I most likely had ADHD, and it got worse due to a more demanding lifestyle.

He prescribed me weekly therapy with a psychologist and some medicine. I was skeptical of it all at first but decided to give it a go.

I cannot express more emphatically how these two steps changed my life this past month. I'm more aware of everything around me, focus on things with ease, and start and finish projects efficiently. My wife and I rarely fight anymore, and I even have the willpower to play with my kids.

It was as if my mind got pulled away at every turn, but now I can finally fully control it.

If you feel the same way I did, do look for help. Even if it makes your budget tight, it will help you beyond what I can describe.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD since I was a teenager, but the shift to working from home and additional responsibilities made it far worse, so I started seeing a psychologist earlier this year to help me reinforce organizational skills while adjusting medication.

Some things that have worked for me:

* Less medication. I dropped my Concerta to 36mg which avoids many of the side effects.

* Frequent calendaring, even for personal life. This helps visualize time commitments.

* Use of a pen and paper notebook throughout the day, reducing cognitive load. I've tried a lot of digital note taking tools but I end up spending too much time fiddling with them.

To encourage myself to take notes I just have a loose structure of one page a day.

How did you find your psychiatrist? As someone in a similar situation who has decided several times to get a consultation, it seems like the whole system is set up to be as difficult as possible! Just finding someone taking new patients is hard enough, then you have to worry about whether you have to have a PCP in their hospital, if they are allowed to do telehealth, whether they take your insurance, ..., ...

It was hard enough finding a therapist (and retaining them -- my therapist dropped me because the office only allows them to see someone for 1-2 years max).

If anyone has tips on more effectively finding therapists and psychiatrists, I am all ears. (I'm in the US if it helps)

Or figure out a system that works for you. Medication is not the only way.

I do hope that you're learning good habits in tandem with your medicine. Stress-management and self-control habits start small but end up being just as effective, if not more than your medication.The idea isn't to make you dependent on a prescription to be productive, you're to learn how to manage your ADHD to the degree where you can lower your dosage.