151–160 of 323 posts
It really doesn’t apply once you have a lot of responsibilities and limited time. Commitments can quickly eat up your time, whether it’s caring for elderly, kids, a family or all of the above, on top of career.
As the author mentioned, most of these techniques don’t apply to people you need to be around fairly regularly, which tends to be almost all the people you meet once said responsibilities are established.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Whichever meaning, NPC is a recent insidious method of dehumanizing people that ranks right up there with labels like "pigs," "rats," and "cockroaches." This tactic is essentially a first prerequisite for mass violence. It's sure to increase incidences of mentally ill shooters viewing everyone around them as bots in a video game. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/26330024209169... https://www.npr.org/2011…
My first instinct was to say this seems like an overreaction to a joke, but this is a meme that originated from 4chan and the worst parts of reddit, so you might not be far off, given the track records for violence there.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't say that you're wrong, because everyone's environment/experience is different. But this is so outside my perception of the world and that of everyone I've ever spoken to (across a swatch of demographics across North America and Europe). Friendship groups narrow because it isn't EASY anymore (you're not all on campus). Nobody actually desires for them to narrow. If you can make it *easy* for the other person (…
>If you can make it easy* for the other person (by handling the approach, scheduling, etc). They'll be as willing as in uni days* That's definitely not true, or at least not my experience. Everyone I ask out to join me for various activities, has an excuse, usually busy or other plans with someone else, and they never follow up for a rain check. People over 30, even single/child-free, seem to be very busy with their…
never ask a new friend to hang in X, where X is days away.
instead just do, i'm heading to this arcade want to join?
or i'm at coffee shop now, want to stop by and catch up.
this is how you can turn casual associates into friends.
if someone cool i knew asked me to spend 2 hours with them i'd get nervous.
plus, if they know that you are cool even without them they are far more likely to join you.
I'm in my 40's and I have a lot of close friends, both in my city (mostly newer friends) and around the country/world (mostly older friendships). My trick is, I cheat. I'm happily single, live alone and have no children. That gives me the luxury of doing the heavy lifting in my friendships. I travel a lot and most of those trips are to stay with friends in their homes or to meet them at a third destination. That's be…
> building more non-romantic relationships with women. I completely agree; I've always preferred being friends with women, but in my opinion it's not easy to do. Things sometimes get complicated quickly if there's attraction on either side which often happens to at least one side if you're close friends. Even without romantic feelings, things get weird/awkward if either party is in a relationship or married.
Not only is the friendship very close, but inextricably linked with far and away my favorite activity in the world. One that has brought by far the most joy to my life, and one that I have given up a lot to pursue.
I don't even know how I could have predicted or avoided it, either. At first glance, I never would have guessed I would end up feeling any attraction to her at all. In actual fact, what I ended up with are feelings I could have never even imagined I was capable of feeling for someone (I'm 40).
The only thing I could have done differently, I'm afraid, would have been to make damn sure to never get so close to any woman at all.
This is way too complicated. All you have do is show up to the same place regularly to places where other people also show up regularly. School, work, dog park, gym, etc.
Friendship happens, if through shared experience, interest or just chance. True friendship doesn't happen because you woke up one morning and "Make a Friend" was at the top of your todo list for the day.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If people are going out of their way to approach you (especially women), then it's probably down to you being attractive or at the very least above average.
Something happened within the last year, either to the general social environment around me or my own demeanor. I used to be able to go out and speak to people, have convos, people would even approach me. This year has been much different though. When I go out no one wants to talk, except for straight lunatics. At the bar the other night the only guy who wanted to talk went on a tirade about “the Jews” and kept askin…
This guy should move to scandinavia, he'd learn that conversation is cheap. I can't tell you how many times I've spoken to a scandie for literally hours just to have it come to nothing. No new friend, not really even an acquaintance, it was all just talk and meant nothing at all.
Scandinavians are very friendly and pleasant people on the surface, but it's hard to penetrate that surface into deeper friendship. To really get into someone's inner circle of close friends you pretty much have to have grown up with them or known them for years.
Disclaimer: no unsolicited advice please. I'm old(er) mid-40's, single, no kids, and never married. I don't have much family or close friends. Hookup culture is de rigueur but it doesn't interest me. Where I'm at, there isn't a context to meet people and most random people in public around keep to themselves and treat me like I'm invisible. I do volunteering but that also doesn't go anywhere. If you have to constantl…
It breaks my heart to see Western people living such lives. I love the West for so many reasons, but the social construction is a complete broken mess. Family and community is completely destroyed. People live and work only for themselves. The amount of loneliness and isolation is just mind blowing and unbearable. IMO, it's a selfish lifestyle. People who manage to make great success (due to a combination of lack, in…
Remember, a lot of the "West" (at least my exposure to it, the USA) is a conglomeration of other cultures; we have many Eastern cultures here as well!
Many of my friends have large families that they're much more entangled with than I'd opt into with my own family.
I could not live with my mother again, though I love her very much. I imagine many Indian men would love to have that option, all else being equal, though realistically they simply don't.
The freedom to choose is nice, but a great many of us "Westerners" choose to stay close to our families. That's what freedom is; the ability to opt into culture, rather than be forced into it.