Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: Is it just me?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

91–100 of 109 posts

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#91

Post by rocqua »

How come you are designing those systems single handedly? Might you be setting people against you at this early stage? That could be by outshining them, but more likely might be by ignoring their advice, and in general not including them?

If that is the problem, try including others in the process. Build a team, and be mindful of buldozing through people who have 'wrong' objections. Not saying to avoid it completely, but consider long term effects before doing it. And getting a few good people who enjoy working with you makes things much easier.

Just a theory ofcourse. And the suggested solution requires a bit of consideration of office politics.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#92

Post by bradwood »

Pick your battles. Some stuff is worth getting into an argument about. For, most of it however, it's worth clearly articulating your position but not necessarily falling out over.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#93

Post by metaloha »

I've become a professional short-termer over the past 30+ years. I don't think I've stayed with a company longer than 2 years for at least the past 20 or so.

I come in, handle some successful projects (occasionally unsuccessful, such is life) in whatever role (it varies from senior developer to product owner to staff developer to tech evangelist, etc.), then find a reason to move on. I've noticed that the types of companies I work for tend to be grouped - I'll work in legal tech for 2 or 3 companies in a row, then fin tech for a couple, then marketing, then oil & gas for another couplefew, etc. My remuneration has consistently grown as well over that time - I haven't taken a lower-paying position for at least 10 or 15 years now, and only one change that didn't increase what I take home.

I actually didn't realize I was doing this until I started my year off recently and looked back on my career. I still don't know if it's strange or not, but it worked for me.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#94

Post by Existenceblinks »

manmal wrote: post #70
Existenceblinks wrote: post #53

It sucks and it's worse when that happens even before landing into a job. What if you think React should be ended already, it's a clear lose engineering wise. Yet industry can't get of out "hiring reasons", so the CTO's decision is already bad for me before any further conflict.

This is taken out of context, but why would one think React should be ended? Experience has shown that every JS framework will be phased out eventually, so why not ride on each wave as long as the available developers pool is the deepest?

Because we believe in technology advancement. When a better tech has shown up, we should ditch the inferior ones. Well, this is very normal thing to do, most of industry does this. Riding horse may be a good sport, but we already moved on.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#95

Post by saulpw »

drBonkers wrote: post #83
anonreeeeplor wrote: post #58

I understand this entirely. I usually stay around 3 to 3 1/2 years. Not the worst tenure but not the best. I now prioritize positive feelings, emotions and energy above all. My goal in all meetings and all interactions is to keep positive emotions high. What took me a long time to learn as an analytical and technical minded person is that there is a way to be optimistic and positive without being fake or insincere. I…

How did you learn what to say to start calls and meetings with a positive tone without coming off as if you weren’t taking things seriously enough?

I spend 5 minutes at the start of calls asking how people are doing, getting a read on their emotional state. As the saying goes, everyone is coming from somewhere else and going to somewhere else and is only here with you for a few moments between the two. So I like to try to find what they've been up to 1) since we last chatted, 2) recently, and 3) immediately before our current meeting. And you can ask about their plans for tonight or this weekend (though usually that makes more sense at the end of the call).

It's nice to share these things, it builds connections between people, you and/or they may be more empathetic for when things are going slower than you'd like, and to the OP comment, it starts the meeting with a non-negative tone. Even if they say negative things, you can listen and empathize, and it can become a positive thing for you both. Sometimes people say "I don't want to talk about it" and then you can demonstrate lightness by saying "that's okay, [I understand]" and waiting a beat--sometimes they start talking about it anyway.

I also make sure to have a couple of small things I could share if they reflect the question back to me, or if it doesn't seem like they want to talk. These are little things from my immediate life--the lunch I just had with a friend, or interesting thing I saw on my walk, or something I'm excited about, or an idle question I've been pondering.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#96

Post by Markoff »

I am familiar with different cycle, not sure what's the exact term for it in English - you start working somewhere, there are (easily) understandable requirements and let's say there is 5 of them.

Over time they add more and more requirements to achieve same result making your work more and more difficult instead of making it easier over time, so after 2 years you are away from 5 simple requirements now with 15 requirements, some of them difficult to comprehend, making you waste more nad more time to achieve same result as in the beginning.

When I see e-mail about changes and improvements I am always horrified, because in 99% situations it means new useless unhelpful steps wasting more of my time.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#97

Post by strawdude »

i have a 6 months cycle. i am in some sort of a limbo. i can't get a job in a organized company, i get jobs in a mess companies. in a mess company people behave like they run around blindfolded and hit walls from time to time, communicatiin is shit. i cant break the cycle. i have no hope there is something better

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#98

Post by strawdude »

neweroldguy wrote: post #75
serjester wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As the old saying goes - "If someone's a prick, they're a prick. But if everyone's a prick, you're probably the prick". I hope this doesn't come off harsh but I would strongly encourage the OP to look inward. Did you actively build a relationship with your boss? Did you actively solicit feedback from all the stakeholders in a given project? Did you ask earnest questions to try to understand people you disagreed with?…

It’s tough because at scale you can always find some poor schmuck that’s a perfectly decent sort and has run into pricks over and over. “Maybe it’s me?” the poor fucker opines. And well-meaning folks like you or me will suggest the “asshole rule” — if everyone’s an asshole, you’re the asshole — and we’ll be right in general but not in this one unfortunate case. But you just can’t tell which is which from where we’re…

i've worked in the office and in the non-office environment. i have problem working with the office people - i can't trust them when they say - "it works" or "i will do it".

i'm in a cycle. i quit software eng job hating everything, everbody, and software engineering (which i very like). i go to work away from computers. my happines goes up, my optimism goes up, making software makes me happy. then i say to myself: i am good working with people. if i can do it here then i can do it in an IT company. The IT company turnouts as an unorganized mess with dumb people pretending to be experts.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#99

Post by strawdude »

kaiuhl wrote: post #34
wccrawford wrote: post #12

I think it's definitely possible to end up in your situation through no fault of your own. But if it were me, I'd definitely look into seeing if there was a way I could have fewer conflicts and avoid that situation. That said... The most reliable way to get raises in our industry is to move jobs every 3-5 years. And since you're doing that anyhow, I'm not sure there's anything to fix here. You get to be yourself, and…

Also, you're self-aware enough to ask if it's you or not, without an obvious bias towards it not being you. That makes me think you're doing pretty good. Empathy and a desire to be a better human are underappreciated values in this industry. I’ve made this a pillar of interviewing at companies I’ve worked at over the years; it’s better to hire kind people with a capacity for growth and skills in the right direction t…

what if a candidate is scared that your company will be bad? how can i tell if your company has kind people?

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#100

Post by incomingpain »

>Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical.

This happened 1 time for me. Worked at a place and things were great for years, tons of growth. We had an insider at our competitor who leaked infos my boss took advantage of. She got 'laid off' and then hired by us. She was inside sales, but she acted like she was our manager.

Except imagine the worst tech manager you've ever had and she was worse. She knew less than nothing about tech, she was at best a sales person who took other people's orders and attached a price tag. but this wasnt the big problem. She was constantly talking to my team, getting them to say something stupid and the going to the boss to get them in trouble. It got to the point 2 people on my team refused to speak to her. Would never even say hello to her because they learnt 9/10 times she was intending to snitch on them.

One day the team just realized the pattern and after she talked to them, they set an alarm on their phone. Right as the alarm went off, our boss came walking in. This was the day they turned to maliciously harming her. I decided to simply be uninvolved. I made it clear to my boss she's not my manager and i dont answer to her. That if he wants me to report to her, make it clear now as I was planning to quit on the spot.

Her toxicity mainly toward the junior techs really wrecked that place. demotivated everyone. This was the downfall of that job.

The story continues. Many months later she came one day to come after me. I was standing up talking to the junior most guy. He had a pretty severe issue and I was helping him.

She straight up went to the boss and said I was looking out the window while my coworker was sinking. Which she never came to talk to us, perhaps there was many points it would look this way from a distance.

My boss then demands monday morning I come in, there will be a company meeting with everyone and I had to beg to keep my job. I explain I was working on my own project while helping $junior. The junior guy interjects immediately, confirms I was helping him. That the claim I was looking out the window was a lie.

So I end up fired, begging for my job wasnt good enough. 1 other junior guy, the one most often targetted by her quit as well. I got a new job and I met someone who had worked with her at the job she was leaking infos on. He had completely forgotten about her but she did exactly the same snitch shit at that place.

about a year later. I get sued for 1.1 million $. I never had a non-compete. I had learnt about those the job before that job. His assertion a barely above minimum wage worker with no ownership in the business was a 'fiduciary employee' and so I'm not allowed to steal his clients. He lost something like 50% of his clients and none of them were at my new employer. Obviously he didnt get beyond discovery.

Post reply on HN