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Ask HN: Is it just me?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#31

Post by AmericanChopper »

If this inevitably happens, then it most certainly is you. Stupid stuff happens all the time at every workplace, whether or not that makes your relationship with your employer untenable is up to you. You need to remember that you’re getting paid to do what your management wants you to do. If they want you to do something that you consider to be stupid, and if they choose not to listen to your advice about why it’s stupid, then it’s still your job to do it. If raising your concerns with management is causing your workplace relationships to sour, then it’s likely your communication/interpersonal skills that are lacking.

If you find the decisions from management to be completely intolerable, then that’s fine too. But it does mean that you have to find a new job. Finding a new job and then resigning because you didn’t agree with the direction the company is going in is also completely reasonable, and can be done completely amicably. But if you’re finding this happens every 18 months, then you perhaps also need to consider whether you might be too dogmatic about your technical opinions.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#32

Post by smetj »

Its because in the beginning there is a lot of low hanging fruit. Its easy to make a difference. Added value is so obvious, you do not have to explain. (Probably the reason they hired you) Then, when the easy and obvious work is done, the discussions and frictions start about what work is actually valuable ...Navigating those waters also requires a skill which is not technical. There is nothing wrong choosing for work where its easy to make a difference.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#33

Post by dilyevsky »

zubspace wrote: post #16

I've been working more than 11 years at my current small company. There are often times where things do not work the way I want. Bad communication, new strategies I don't like, different opinions on how do something, bad or sloppy code I need to cleanup, crappy processes, etc... etc... But still, after all those years, I don't feel bad about it. That's life and life is a mess sometimes. There are things you can chang…

This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#34

Post by kaiuhl »

wccrawford wrote: post #12

I think it's definitely possible to end up in your situation through no fault of your own. But if it were me, I'd definitely look into seeing if there was a way I could have fewer conflicts and avoid that situation. That said... The most reliable way to get raises in our industry is to move jobs every 3-5 years. And since you're doing that anyhow, I'm not sure there's anything to fix here. You get to be yourself, and…

Also, you're self-aware enough to ask if it's you or not, without an obvious bias towards it not being you. That makes me think you're doing pretty good.

Empathy and a desire to be a better human are underappreciated values in this industry. I’ve made this a pillar of interviewing at companies I’ve worked at over the years; it’s better to hire kind people with a capacity for growth and skills in the right direction than to hire folks with all the necessary skills and experience at the time of hire but with poor social skills or a lot of dogma.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#35

Post by echelon »

atian wrote: post #14

> Typically, I work for an employer for around 3 to 5 years. […] Then around the halfway mark or later, things sour for a variety of different reasons. Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical. This is a red herring. The fact you’ve carried it out this far to the 3-5 mark is extraordinary. Most people move every two years just…

> Most people move every two years

In SF. In Atlanta we have 90+% retention at a five year mark.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#36

Post by dilyevsky »

> At the start of each employment I make several successful leaps, often designing and building new systems (usually single handedly).

That’s your problem. Once you’ve gone above and beyond a few times too many they will move the goalpost and you will eventually become unable to keep up. Also things like https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality will set in eventually.

The name of the game is “managing expectations”.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#37

Post by themitigating »

dilyevsky wrote: post #33
zubspace wrote: post #16

I've been working more than 11 years at my current small company. There are often times where things do not work the way I want. Bad communication, new strategies I don't like, different opinions on how do something, bad or sloppy code I need to cleanup, crappy processes, etc... etc... But still, after all those years, I don't feel bad about it. That's life and life is a mess sometimes. There are things you can chang…

This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables

I agree. I find it very hard to be motivated in situations where I don't think things are being done correctly. Of now that I've grown up I realize that's completely arrogant the problem is that realization doesn't help.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#38

Post by hnews_account_1 »

vultour wrote: post #21
atian wrote: post #14

> Typically, I work for an employer for around 3 to 5 years. […] Then around the halfway mark or later, things sour for a variety of different reasons. Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical. This is a red herring. The fact you’ve carried it out this far to the 3-5 mark is extraordinary. Most people move every two years just…

This really depends on the company, in my experience people in corporate jobs tend to stay for a very long time.

In most companies the people who stick around will turn out to be the mediocre workers. Which is fine. Not everywhere needs to be staffed with the second coming of von Neumann’s. But the pattern is generally that competent people will leave unless you pay them enough to put up with shit. There is no shortage of companies in big metropolitan areas that will pay you better. In smaller areas, sure this pattern breaks and good workers may stay on to hold onto their job.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#39

Post by hellfish »

Maybe the reason for fallout is because the honeymoon phase has already gone by, and you want something different but haven't come to terms with that yet?

You shouldn't put pressure on yourself to make something work if you're getting disillusioned. Better to go somewhere better

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