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Ask HN: Is it just me?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#21

Post by vultour »

atian wrote: post #14

> Typically, I work for an employer for around 3 to 5 years. […] Then around the halfway mark or later, things sour for a variety of different reasons. Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical. This is a red herring. The fact you’ve carried it out this far to the 3-5 mark is extraordinary. Most people move every two years just…

This really depends on the company, in my experience people in corporate jobs tend to stay for a very long time.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#22

Post by fncivivue7 »

Pretty normal.

I joined a larger (tech) company a few years ago, best thing I've ever done. Instead of jumping companies I just jump teams.

Need to be productive to get the team switches but that's not too hard.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#24

Post by serjester »

comboy wrote: post #3

Sounds like you may need to improve your social skills. Good employer should understand than nobody is amazing at everything, but such is the world today that marketing wins everywhere (on personal level too). Or you think you are better than you are, not possible to tell from the post (but I'd say unlikely given some introspection that went into making it).

As the old saying goes - "If someone's a prick, they're a prick. But if everyone's a prick, you're probably the prick". I hope this doesn't come off harsh but I would strongly encourage the OP to look inward.

Did you actively build a relationship with your boss? Did you actively solicit feedback from all the stakeholders in a given project? Did you ask earnest questions to try to understand people you disagreed with?

When I was younger, I thought anyone that disagreed with me was incompetent. This had upsides since I pushed through projects others thought were impossible. But you alienate a lot of people in the process. More importantly people start rooting for you to fail. This is fine a very narrow set of situations but as a whole you're far better off taking the same effort to understand the people around you.

My hypothetical question to the OP is have you ever had a falling out with anyone that you felt truly understood you and wanted the best for you? I haven't.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#25

Post by salawat »

2.5 to 3y is my normal stint. Generally speaking, I tend to end up getting to know a place well enough to realize some cultural quirk which I'll be powerless to correct will render what I set out to do in the first place infeasible/impossible. This will generally be coupled with having enough data to start to see the fray points of those around me, generally leading to "time for a context switch". Either that or a personal life event matures and ends up throwing a wrench In things. It is not just you, friend.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#26

Post by mumblemumble »

vultour wrote: post #21
atian wrote: post #14

> Typically, I work for an employer for around 3 to 5 years. […] Then around the halfway mark or later, things sour for a variety of different reasons. Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical. This is a red herring. The fact you’ve carried it out this far to the 3-5 mark is extraordinary. Most people move every two years just…

This really depends on the company, in my experience people in corporate jobs tend to stay for a very long time.

I think there might be a survivor bias at play here.

What I saw when I worked at a big corporation was that there was an accumulation of people who stuck around, but there was also a constant churn of people who hated the culture and didn't last. I haven't counted, but I would guess that a decent majority of the colleagues I had over the course of my time here came from the latter group, even if most the people at any one time came from the former.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#27

Post by JohnFen »

matai_kolila wrote: post #2

No relationship ends successfully, nothing wrong with spending 3-5 years at an org, learning what you can, then moving on. Knowing this, maybe it’s worth resetting your goals at the next role to take i to account how this cycle tends to go. Set “end” criteria for when you should move on and reevaluate those goals regularly.

> No relationship ends successfully

I disagree. I was recently hired at a company that I worked for years ago. I left because I tired of the project, but left on very good terms. Good enough that both the company and myself are looking forward to another run together.

That was a relationship that ended successfully.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#28

Post by iJohnDoe »

A guess. You might start acing a certain way or make certain demands on your boss, colleagues, or employer after you feel you have contributed something important. You might feel justified in doing this because you feel like you have contributed more than others.

The raises and promotions are rewards for those contributions. The paycheck you received are compensation for those contributions. No one else owes you any more than that and it doesn’t entitle you to dictate how things are done outside of your responsibilities.

The above is my guess from reading between the lines.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#29

Post by manibatra »

Not evolving with the needs of the business? Start ups in the very early stages are a different beast. As they grow and try to find product market fit it becomes more of a business problem than a technical one. So understanding the needs of the business first helps. And with that comes the knowledge what technical things are ok to be left broken.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#30

Post by gwd »

svilen_dobrev wrote: post #10

3-to-5y is a lot. my period is 2~ years. 10+ times. Plus once or twice i managed 4 years, but in 2x2y 90% different projects. Once you feel things go sour, don't prolong the agony.. That kills.

And here I am, working on the same project since 2005.
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