31–40 of 56 posts
Love it or hate it, this year I’m grateful for Zoom. It’s only maybe halfway towards the goodness of in-person meetings, but at least it’s that.
I don't understand the (American?) concept of "gratitude". I think it's because it necessarily implies someone to be grateful to, most likely a divine being or an abstraction of it (such as the spirit of universe). I see the world as a chaotic place where most things are done through pure will of humans, and random events. If somebody does something good to me, I'm grateful to them. My current employer recruited me w…
I think you may be confusing gratitude with "toxic positivity". Gratitude is not a weapon wielded to prevent growth, that's more like "toxic positivity", where you must be positive no matter what. Gratitude is about drawing attention to the goodness in life, whether someone is bestows that thing upon you depends on your definition of it. There are lots of definitions of gratitude, some focus on the social aspect, oth…
Sure, I agree. There is a lot of good in my life.
What seems to cause dissonance is how my life still feels like shit, despite all those good things. The answer I most often hear to this is "well, if you practiced more gratitude, you'd appreciate those things" - which feels like the old religious cliche of "if God doesn't help you, you aren't praying/believing enough".
But to ask a concrete question - how would you describe the "activity" of practicing gratitude to, say, a child who's never heard of such a phrase? Is it just the act of pointing out "good" things about your life to yourself, or is there anything more to it?
I had no idea exactly how bad that can get until I was assigned to a booth at SC22 last week and we had no chairs, so I was standing the whole time. I lasted about three hours each day, and after that, my low back was knotted up to the point I couldn't stand up straight, and it impinged enough to make my hips and knees swell up, too.
So I'm grateful I don't have to do that. I've got a job I can do from my bed. For the record, I am quite active. I walk anywhere from an hour to two each day, though not in one shot. I lift every morning. But there's apparently quite a difference between brief bouts of intense activity and being on your feet for a prolonged period of time. There was a thread the other day here, possibly yesterday, about unemployed people in their 50s and 60s being excoriated for not getting jobs in an economy with low unemployment, and responses mentioning those jobs might be things like Walmart greeter or whatever. Cue the invited discussion about what exactly might be "beneath" a person of a certain history, but as far as I can tell, there seem to be enormous categories of jobs I couldn't do even if I wanted to, including many jobs I've done in the past like Disneyland performer, retail store manager, Army officer, park custodian. I could not be a Walmart greeter. I couldn't be a pilot or a long-haul trucker or a rideshare driver, since I can't sit for long periods of time, either. I can't be a park ranger or a tour guide.
I'm lucky as hell that the job I happen to have is a job I can actually do, and I'll be grateful for as long as that continues to be the case. And I will continually advocate for companies that have jobs that can be done from home to allow those jobs to be done from home, without reprisal and without stigma, to expand the pool of people who can work.
My small Bluetti EB70 that lets me take hot showers when Russians launch rockets at our infrastructure and disconnect whole cities from the grid.
Electrical engineers that keep fixing the grid so that my Bluetti can charge from time to time.
A friend with Starlink who's happy to share internet. Simple things!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think you may be confusing gratitude with "toxic positivity". Gratitude is not a weapon wielded to prevent growth, that's more like "toxic positivity", where you must be positive no matter what. Gratitude is about drawing attention to the goodness in life, whether someone is bestows that thing upon you depends on your definition of it. There are lots of definitions of gratitude, some focus on the social aspect, oth…
> I say this not to guilt you into being grateful, but to remind you that you seem to have a lot of goodness in your life. Sure, I agree. There is a lot of good in my life. What seems to cause dissonance is how my life still feels like shit, despite all those good things. The answer I most often hear to this is " well, if you practiced more gratitude, you'd appreciate those things " - which feels like the old religio…
In an ELI5-type answer: "Practicing" gratitude involves actively noticing your feelings of appreciation for something good in your life. That something good may be a meal, a relationship, overcoming an challenge, etc.
For an adult beginner a gratitude journal is a great place to start! You can purchase one, like the "6-Minute Journal" or you can grab a blank piece of paper and pick a prompt from this pdf[1]. Pick a prompt: "Something beautiful I saw today..." "A fun experience I had..." "Someone I admire.." and spend a few minutes writing about that. Write in your journal 2-3 times a week. That's it!
[1]: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/gratitude-journal