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Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

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Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#91

Post by BuyMyBitcoins »

johnchristopher wrote: post #88
wolongong942 wrote: post #74

I was in a few finance/crypto spaces (voice chat rooms on Twitter) with CEOs/CTOs/industry experts over the past week and it weirded me out how everyone would do this 30 second ass-kissing speech before and after speaking. Some people would even randomly butt in out of nowhere and start giving gratitude to all speakers, triggering a chain of gratitude speeches from other speakers which provided no value at all to the…

This is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symbolic_capital at play and people chirping at each other "are we still friends ? I am you friend. Am I your friend ? yes ? Good, I am also you friend then". I am a on a cynic ride at that moment so take that with a grain of salt. But I have seen what you describe in other situations. I have noticed this on US news snippets "Thaaaaank you so much for being here, I want to say I…

It is also possible that with the crypto market imploding at the moment, each one is feeling very vulnerable and is trying to compensate by being particularly ingratiating.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#92

Post by rramadass »

zwkrt wrote: post #15

There are a lot of personal attributes and social behaviors that unlock opportunities. In the US a positive attitude, gratitude, and genuine interest are among them. In general just being pleasant to be around and personable will get you far in the engineering world because those qualities are often times lacking. When people managers are making decisions about resourcing I think that they are not honest with themsel…

Very true.

But always trying to maintain a "pleasant manner" under all circumstances can be exhausting. There has to be sincerity involved else the other person can easily pickup on the fakery. On the other hand i have observed that even when it is obvious that the person is faking it (eg. social etiquette), people seem to be accepting of it in general.

Perhaps the quote, The secret to Success is Sincerity; Once you learn to fake that, You have got it made is true after all. Humans are complex social creatures.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#93

Post by maeil »

PradeetPatel wrote: post #72
dEnigma wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I assume this must be a joke since it sounds like something straight out of a dystopic novel. But then again you also talk about doing some "reputation management work with the defense sector" in an older comment, so I'm genuinely wondering if you're serious.

I honestly don't see anything dystopic about it. The end goal of any business and corporation is to make money, and the objective of every manager is to provide value for their stakeholder. Although at first it may seem awfully bleak, but one must consider the broader implication of maintaining a culture harmony and stability, especially for larger companies in the age of social media, where a small group of disgrunt…

> The end goal of any business and corporation is to make money, and the objective of every manager is to provide value for their stakeholder.

This is being stated as if it's some kind of universal law of physics, when it's as far from that as it can be. Modern society is built on past businesses, corporations and managers who did not have those end goals and objectives.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#94

Post by nicbou »

wolongong942 wrote: post #74

I was in a few finance/crypto spaces (voice chat rooms on Twitter) with CEOs/CTOs/industry experts over the past week and it weirded me out how everyone would do this 30 second ass-kissing speech before and after speaking. Some people would even randomly butt in out of nowhere and start giving gratitude to all speakers, triggering a chain of gratitude speeches from other speakers which provided no value at all to the…

I've witnessed it in Europe too. I think it's corp speak.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#96

Post by sublinear »

jvanderbot wrote: post #70
sublinear wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I generally agree that a positive culture lets people focus on their work. I don't agree that a negative outlook should automatically dismiss someone or their ideas. That's seriously crazy toxic. Some of the best work comes from frustration and it's totally worth it to dig into that resource when you have problems being swept under the rug by maliciously cheery people.

It's not very HN to do this, but "whoosh"

> Please don't post comments saying that HN is turning into Reddit. It's a semi-noob illusion, as old as the hills.

From the FAQ. I'm entirely aware what I was replying to may have been satire, but I don't care. What's it worth to you?

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#97

Post by bitwize »

There's a system at Amazon that lets customer service reps communicate with you after a call. I think it may even be a successor to the one Steve Yegge wrote about whose UI was Emacs.

Anyhoo, I called to complain because of the two orders I placed at Amazon in the past few weeks, one -- a video game -- arrived without media and the other didn't arrive at all. I'm beginning to think that with inflation and Amazon working conditions being what they are, there are people in the fulfillment chain just helping themselves to customer orders and reporting them delivered as intended. The CS rep processed the refund on the second package (I ordered a replacement for the first that arrived just fine) and I recommended she relay my complaints, with a word that these incidents jeopardize my willingness to do further business with Amazon, to higher ups at the service department and she agreed to do so. I thanked her for her help and ended the call.

Few hours later I get an email through this system. The rep, whose name is "Princess", sent a personal note to tell me how much she appreciated how I was on the call, citing my "warm approach".

Wherever you are, Princess, know that it was nothing. It's Jeff Bezos who needs to get his act together, and people like you are just on the front lines, catching hell from cranky bastards like me. I'm happy to show appreciation for help when it is given.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#98

Post by mensetmanusman »

scottLobster wrote: post #49

Gratitude is overrated and over-applied, and often prescribed disingenuously. Resentment, it's opposite, is poison in the modern world. Resentment is an impulse that amounts to a shallow middle finger, and if you try to use it for long-term motivation you become unstable. Many people turn to intentional gratitude as an antidote to resentment, but it's often an overcompensation. Become too grateful and you deny the st…

“Monks and Nuns of various religions are probably some of the most active practitioners of intentional gratitude.”

This might have been true if research didn’t show that religious practitioners have among the highest levels of mental health and well being.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#99

Post by nickd2001 »

Nathanba wrote: post #61
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #5

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

I think so too and I think our entire society is absolutely drenched in this kind of self focused "love", "gratitude" and "kindness". I don't think people are even aware that they are not supposed to distort concepts like that, I don't think they even view it as a distortion anymore. I think they think that love is of course always benefitting them, why wouldn't it? Even though the real meaning of love does not in an…

To test if someone is being loving, or faking it, one could use the below "official bible definition". ;). (often read out at weddings which is pretty important for people deciding to spend decades together)

"1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. "

I think 2 obvious bits of this missing when people fake it are "it is not self-seeking" (just like you said) and "rejoices with the truth". I don't think it's that hard to tell, or rather, if its hard to tell if someone is being loving or not, then unfortunately they probably aren't.

My 2p.. YMMV etc ...

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#100

Post by nickd2001 »

netsharc wrote: post #9
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #5

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

Reminds me of a movie adaptation of "A Brave New World" where everyone greets each other with "Hey how are you I'm great thank you".

This really happened to me :

Person C : "How's Person V doing?" Me : "Sadly he had to go back to India 'cos his Dad died" Person C: "Oh, cool, cool"

What the .... ? Person C clearly wasn't listening , I don't think he meant to be quite so uncaring.. maybe I wasn't meant to actually answer the question....

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