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Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

exaltitude.io

61–70 of 110 posts

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#61

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

I think so too and I think our entire society is absolutely drenched in this kind of self focused "love", "gratitude" and "kindness". I don't think people are even aware that they are not supposed to distort concepts like that, I don't think they even view it as a distortion anymore. I think they think that love is of course always benefitting them, why wouldn't it? Even though the real meaning of love does not in any way require that there will be a personal benefit in the end. The same goes for gratitude.

It works so well for them because it's extremely hard to peak behind the curtain. You only notice that the other person isn't for real when you see a pattern of actions and results that somehow only ever benefits them. That's when I wisened up to people who use love/etc. as weapons. I think it's almost psychotic how it presents itself in people who subscribe to that because it's a total corruption of the original meaning of the word but on its surface it's the perfect mimic. They act loving, they act gracious 100% of the time. However here is the kicker: They lovingly and graciously evade the outcome or action if there is no benefit for them or work for them to do with no clear upside for them. Suddenly they have all kinds of good excuses why this isn't the right time right now. Suddenly when you realize this pattern, you realize that you are not dealing with a real loving person, you are dealing with someone that uses the skin of love as a mantle.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#62
post #15

There are a lot of personal attributes and social behaviors that unlock opportunities. In the US a positive attitude, gratitude, and genuine interest are among them. In general just being pleasant to be around and personable will get you far in the engineering world because those qualities are often times lacking. When people managers are making decisions about resourcing I think that they are not honest with themsel…

Quoted post unavailable.

A kiss ass is the above with no authenticity.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#63

I've always been profoundly struck by Dostoyevsky's depiction of the devil. In The Brothers Karamazov, the devil says: "My best feelings, gratitude, for example, are formally forbidden solely because of my social position." It's something I think about very often.

Was that during The Grand Inquisitor?

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#64

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

I like to call this "toxic positivity". Forced cheeriness about the grind, the hustle, we're all in this together, etc. Better than negativity, but not by much.

My god, I worked for a company that worked in the HR space and they really lived this to an extreme, and I’d say we lost an hour a day to forced laughs, forced jokes, and forced feel good moments.

I’m pretty sure it’s what triggered an anxiety breakdown for me from having to pretend spending 6 hours a day dealing with broken backend systems and spreadsheets is sparking uncontrollable joy at all times.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#65
post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being pleasant to be around is very different from kissing ass. Being unpleasant is commonly known as being an ass in America ;)

If I am pleasant to gain mobility or status, because, as you said, it provides opportunity, that’s being a kiss ass. I am in no way suggesting walking around just being negative, instead, being negative, not unpleasant, but being negative, when appropriate is honest, and humble.

> being negative, when appropriate is honest, and humble.

It neither honest nor humble necessarily. It's a mindset, a perception, and a choice. You filter reality through your mindset. You choose to respond negatively or in some other way.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#66
post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's definitely a counter-culture of people in America who believe that being pleasant or warm is to lose some sort of dignity; that being nice is subordinate conformist behavior. Instead they proudly wear surliness and aloofness to show that they will not bend to norms or hierarchy. The result is that they typically do not get chosen for more interesting projects, are passed over for promotions, and interview poo…

Quoted post unavailable.

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Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#68

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

I think so too and I think our entire society is absolutely drenched in this kind of self focused "love", "gratitude" and "kindness". I don't think people are even aware that they are not supposed to distort concepts like that, I don't think they even view it as a distortion anymore. I think they think that love is of course always benefitting them, why wouldn't it? Even though the real meaning of love does not in an…

No post body was provided.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#69

Gratitude, kindness, and explicit acknowledgement of appreciation for others really does go a long way. However, I feel like I've been meeting more people in the workplace who read articles like this and implement it in a robotic, forced manner. Like they're using it as a tool to get what they want out of others, as opposed to a genuine expression of how they feel. Genuine gratitude goes much further than just going…

I know a person at work that clearly read Dale Carnegie far too often. Hes implemented each strategy precisely and it's a bit exhausting.

But I also suspect it's him building a framework for genuine connection, even if it's templated.

Re: Gratitude is a secret weapon for attracting more opportunities

#70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Like many other tools utilised by powerful leaders/CEOs, mandatory positively, too, is a means to an end. An excolleague of mine was a "happiness engineer" at a FAANG-esque firm, we discussed the pros and cons of ensuring positive communication is demonstrated in all echelons of the business. We were delighted knowing that although discontent existed in some engineers, the mandatory happiness messaging prevented them…

I generally agree that a positive culture lets people focus on their work. I don't agree that a negative outlook should automatically dismiss someone or their ideas. That's seriously crazy toxic. Some of the best work comes from frustration and it's totally worth it to dig into that resource when you have problems being swept under the rug by maliciously cheery people.

It's not very HN to do this, but "whoosh"
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