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Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

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Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#21
post #15
post #6

Not sure if relevant to you, but I came to tech from manual labor in the midwest, so my work ethic was probably skewed. I found my team incredibly whiny and rather lazy. I fired the laziest one after catching him sleeping for the however many'th time. Not long after, I realized I was setting expectations way too high and had the 'time to lean time to clean' mindset too fresh in my head. I regret being such a brainwas…

What do you mean by "sleeping"?

Physically fall asleep in his chair, usually on quiet mornings.

It might sound bad on paper, but all the crap I've seen since WFH and forced COVID WFH since makes that look and feel extremely benign.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#22
I didn't trust my instinct and hired a guy that was a pathological liar. Almost ruined the whole company. This was during the dotcom bubble and programmers where hard to come by. My company didn't pay as well as the (soon to be bankrupt) flashy dotcom firms. I really needed people and I let myself think "OK, he is odd, but maybe it's just my bias".

His office soon turned into a dump, he didn't show up to important customer demos ("Oh, I told you I was going to visit my sister", "I got a bad allergy after vaccination, I'm in the hospital."). He could spend weeks not producing anything, and have very elaborate excuses. Some periods in the beginning he did really good work. So I had to weigh the pros and the cons of keeping him. And maybe I wanted to avoid a conflict. I was young and had never met a person that could lie and cheat without feeling bad.

The worst was that he blamed his co-workers for everything. People wanted to leave. And I, as the middle manager, was caught between caring for the team, getting the work done and be accountable for the managers above me.

I should have ended his employment after a week. There where enough bad signs.

One day he just disappeared. We were worried and went to his house. It was empty. Never heard from him again. After a month his office phone rang. It was his mother. I had to tell her that he was missing. "Oh, not again", was her reply.

When recruiting, listen to your instincts. And be proactive when a team member is not functioning. One person could ruin a team.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#23
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you mean by "sleeping"?

Physically fall asleep in his chair, usually on quiet mornings. It might sound bad on paper, but all the crap I've seen since WFH and forced COVID WFH since makes that look and feel extremely benign.

Not to make you feel worse, but falling asleep at work can be caused by a health issue, for example sleep apnea. In the future I would recommend approaching this with your employee as a health issue first rather than as a laziness issue.

Manual labor is usually paid hourly with bonuses for overtime. Unless you're keeping a close eye on the workload to make sure not only the entire team but also each team member is treated fairly, you can expect people to do things that resemble slacking off, to manage their own workload. If you randomly require the whole team to work weekends, the person who put in a solid 40 hours during the week loses out compared to the person who left early when they could. If the whole team is sometimes required to stay until 6 or later to fix some crisis, the person who shows up at 9 sharp every day loses out compared to the person who drifts in around 9:30 or 10.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#24
post #22

I didn't trust my instinct and hired a guy that was a pathological liar. Almost ruined the whole company. This was during the dotcom bubble and programmers where hard to come by. My company didn't pay as well as the (soon to be bankrupt) flashy dotcom firms. I really needed people and I let myself think "OK, he is odd, but maybe it's just my bias". His office soon turned into a dump, he didn't show up to important cu…

Did the person do anything specific during the interview process that suggested the problems you ended up having? Just thinking someone is "odd" can be the result of, as you say, bias.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#25

Question to folks who respond and experienced managers: how do you deal with peer managers who're not as supportive and out to get you? Context: I joined a startup and I'm leading a new function for this org. While I have decent relationship with all others, one of my peers is far less supportive, demonstrates his value/("we made this call before you joined") at every opportunity, and even wanted to push through some…

> leading a new function for this org

Odds are that other manager thought they would get that function or was somewhere in the process of getting that function and now you have it.

One approach might be to sit down in a one on one and talk about how everyone wants new thing you manage to succeed and ask details about how they would approach new function, what they might be looking for and some background history about decisions, etc. I think establishing common ground of "we all want this to be awesome" and "I'm here because there is so much work to do in this space its a separate team" should be pretty straightforward at a startup/small company.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#26
I took on 2 teams.

I had formed, recruited and managed a very successful team for a year or so, we worked great together, like clockwork. Nothing is perfect but it's the tightest team I've ever worked on to date. Another team was constantly causing issues for us and other teams, they were a problem. They let the manager of that team go (unsurprisingly) and so I offered to take over that team while they found a full-time replacement.

My thought was to make things better for my team and others by putting this team on the right path but it wasn't to be. The team needed to have some people replaced, but I was hesitant to do so right away as I was learning about their domain. Overall this just took time away from my main team. I eventually got completely burned out and was very stressed. So much so that I eventually decided to go back to being an individual contributor. Looking back, my greatest accomplishment of my career thus far has been forming that first team and leading it, we did some amazing high impact things.

So I guess, morale of the story is to not take on too much. Or think that you can always replicate success with a different group of folks.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#27
post #9

Never managed, but I strongly recommend reading Extreme ownership . It's a very good book. As someone who's been through a few managers. Please please give feedback, and not that yearly review stuff. Managers have a very hard time doing that, especially when it's needed. If you don't give people feedback, then they can't push back on the feedback (tell you things you don't know or don't know you don't know) or addres…

+1 Great book if you are looking to be a leader. Other leadership books I would recommend are:

To Risk It All: Nine Conflicts and the Crucible of Decision

Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#28
post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What do you mean by "sleeping"?

Physically fall asleep in his chair, usually on quiet mornings. It might sound bad on paper, but all the crap I've seen since WFH and forced COVID WFH since makes that look and feel extremely benign.

IDK man, straight-up sleeping at work sounds pretty wild lol, unless, as the other poster mentioned, it was the symptom of a real health issue.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#29
post #9

Never managed, but I strongly recommend reading Extreme ownership . It's a very good book. As someone who's been through a few managers. Please please give feedback, and not that yearly review stuff. Managers have a very hard time doing that, especially when it's needed. If you don't give people feedback, then they can't push back on the feedback (tell you things you don't know or don't know you don't know) or addres…

This is spot on.

In addition to giving feedback, I think it's also important to ask people for their opinions regularly. This gives the employee the sense that they are valued and that what they are doing matters. This is the fuel that great employees are powered by.

Re: Ask HN: What is the thing you've did as a manager that you regret the most?

#30
post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Physically fall asleep in his chair, usually on quiet mornings. It might sound bad on paper, but all the crap I've seen since WFH and forced COVID WFH since makes that look and feel extremely benign.

IDK man, straight-up sleeping at work sounds pretty wild lol, unless, as the other poster mentioned, it was the symptom of a real health issue.

My Dad is straight up the biggest work-a-holic I've ever met. Constantly works 12-16 hour days, weekends, etc. Says he loves it. Came out of retirement to work more. I don't understand it but he's happy.

I got some of my friends jobs at work through him and it got brought up to me that he fell asleep at work quite a lot. Was hard to hide because he snored really loud. Was pretty embarrassing to me. Either way, long story short, he had exactly what the other poster was talking about sleep apnea. Got diagnosed, got a c-pap(?) device and guess what, no more falling asleep at work. Probably saved his life as well, as he's already had a heart surgery.

Either way, I pretty sure he's the most non-lazy person I've ever been around. :)

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