Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

In my opinion it is mostly because people have things that they want to say. They're most often not interested in answering your question but seeking to use it as a jumping off point for what they want to talk about. This is why some people always end up circling back over the same pet subjects no matter how specific a yes/no question you ask them.

Some years ago I decided to take communications seriously and read a bunch of books on it. It was a major shift in how I view it.

Good communications isn't merely about speaking well[1], but about handling how others speak. If you are frustrated with people never giving simple answers to simple questions (as I often am), it is you who needs to adapt and change strategies. The expectation that a question that should have a simple "Yes/no" response will be answered as such is not a deficiency in the other party.

So to communicate well means to learn skills/strategies to handle a variety of communication styles.

One other thing to keep in mind: People are like objects in code that have a hidden state (their experience and views in the world). When you say something to them - no matter how plain, that hidden state is going to morph their understanding and how they interpret what you say. The solution is to learn how to get them to reflect back to you what they think you are saying (without annoying them).

Now in a given work place, it's not reasonable to expect all employees to understand how effective communications works, and it does make sense for the workplace to have guidelines on it - and those that think differently have to adapt. I'm certainly not arguing for "Let people speak how they speak and the onus is completely on you to adapt" (in the workplace).

[1] However you define "well" - there is no consensus on it. Being concise and precise is not it.

Personal answers from a spacey SWE:

> don't have some level of clarity in their train of thought and speech

When I am working on a software project, especially a big one, a lot of my brain power is dedicated to holding a mental model of how it works, how the pieces fit together, and what the variables are. Even while I'm not working, a large block of my mental capacity is occupied. In the most extreme cases, I've had trouble coherently communicating/finishing sentences.

> generally over-complicate matters by wandering off to other related subjects and extending the scope of the discussion

Sometimes when I start answering a question, my brain will follow a series of thoughts and free associations. Part way into an answer I'll have forgotten what the question was. This probably ties into the above, but it's also just how my mind works. This might be a common trait amongst developers?

Also "X implies Y" isn't commutative, so even if Y is true X may not be.

Plus colloquially if asked a two part "or" question, there is some ambiguity in a single part answer, but usually a "yes" will refer to the second part.

"Shall we go to the shop or the café?" "Yes." -> café.

This drives computer programmers nuts because we're so used to thinking in boolean logic terms but it's very common.

This is a huge part of it. Most people just can't keep track of what people outside their own heads would know. So they end up over explaining things that don't need it and not explaining at all things the other person doesn't know.