Not your exact question but I think some people miss providing context because they don’t or can’t see through another’s viewpoint and do a diff on what the other person knows or doesn’t.
Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
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Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#92I believe that at least some of it is lack of empathy and perspective. People too often don't stop to think about what the questioner is actually asking, from their perspective. So the answers come from a different perspective, often missing the real question. We could of course also sometimes place blame on poorly formulated questions, but a really good communicator will be able to recognize that and get to the heart of the topics and make sure that everyone is coming to a common understanding
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#93My wife has this problem. It's very tiring and draining for me at times. Examples: She starts off with "To make a long story short...". I tell her: "Honey, all of your stories are long and I like them to be very short. Just leave off 'To make a long story short' and get right to the point." She answers yes/no questions with long-winded answers that make it very unclear whether it's yes or no. She drifts WAY off topic…
My experience: " should we buy eggs? " The response will come with a detailed explanation of what were the last 20 eggs used for, and the probability that more are needed, pondered by the probability of going in the supermarket in the next days... In the middle of the dissertation I would interrupt with "honey, I just need to know if we need to buy." Final reply "OF COURSE WE NEED, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD ME?! I EXPLAINED THAT PRETTY CLEARLY"... yeah...
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#94Here are some altruistic reasons these events might occur: > - don't directly address the point of your question / provide a much complex answer (or even worse, a non-answer) to a simple question > - don't stay focused to the point of the discussion I often dive deeper if the question itself raises suspicions that the question asker might not fully understand the topic. For example, if someone asked: "can you unbatch…
> You yourself are missing words in your communication like the word "have" in the quote above. Also, I don't know enough linguistic rules to correct you, but colloquially at least your title is better understood if you write it as "Why do some people not communicate clearly?" Thanks, corrected the mistakes. However, I wasn't referring to missing words (which can be inferred) or bad grammar. Actually I wasn't referri…
> I was referring mostly to the way one structures their thought and expresses it to someone else.
1. it's still relevant in spoken language. Perhaps more so -- inflection, intonation, volume, and speed add a lot of subtlety to vocal communication that is even more difficult to pick up on than written communication. Pauses indicate punctuation. Tone can indicate something is less important. Volume and speed can be used in place of parentheses or even footnotes. Those are just the obvious things. There is so much information that is very difficult for non-native speakers to pick up on. Or at least is very difficult for me to pick up on.
2. They might be speaking in a way that parses well to a native ear but is deeply confusing to a non-native speaker.
> Also, the question was referring to native speakers (I'm not an English native speaker myself).
Here's a really important question: do other native speakers in your group express the same frustration about these SWEs?
Communication is a two-way street.
If they are 3/5 on communicating ideas and you are 3/5 on understanding ideas, then you may have issues that a person who is 5/5 on understanding ideas does not have.
I want to stress that even if you were a 1/5 (you're not!!!), the onus would still on BOTH you and your team mates to communicate well. It's not just your job to get better at understanding their mediocre communication; it's also their job to be empathetic and learn how to communicate better with you.
Example: I communicate a bit differently with non-native speakers in spoken communication. I slow my speech just a bit (not excessively -- I talk very fast naturally, so my slow is others' normal). I avoid complex wandering sentences with clauses that resolve on different sides of the sentence. I try to add more roadmaps and use more explicit communication. I rely less on intonation, inflection, and pauses to convey meaning when speaking. I made these changes after I worked in a country with a different language and realized how damn hard it was to understand that last 20% of information that everyone else seemed to be catching.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#95If you understand human minds through the perspective of electricity flowing through branching webs of neurons, it helps you understand why different people have different methods of communication. Some people's neurons are organized such that topics of information are tightly bound without reaching too far into adjacent topics. Other people's neurons are broadly organized with topics of information overlapping. Neit…
I agree that some people tend to be more inclined to focus tightly, while others tend to be more broad. But I really doubt the physical layout of their neurons provides any insight into their thought patterns. Or at least I’d have to see some serious research into the topic to believe it.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#96Here are some altruistic reasons these events might occur: > - don't directly address the point of your question / provide a much complex answer (or even worse, a non-answer) to a simple question > - don't stay focused to the point of the discussion I often dive deeper if the question itself raises suspicions that the question asker might not fully understand the topic. For example, if someone asked: "can you unbatch…
> You yourself are missing words in your communication like the word "have" in the quote above. Also, I don't know enough linguistic rules to correct you, but colloquially at least your title is better understood if you write it as "Why do some people not communicate clearly?" Thanks, corrected the mistakes. However, I wasn't referring to missing words (which can be inferred) or bad grammar. Actually I wasn't referri…
> However, I wasn't referring to missing words (which can be inferred) or bad grammar. Actually I wasn't referring to written speech in particular. I was referring mostly to the way one structures their thought and expresses it to someone else.
It would appear that your initial post failed to communicate that clearly to awb.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#97In my experience there are two main reasons: 1) People don't receive formal training in logic and argument formation. 2) People don't properly calibrate their own emotion or take into account the listener's emotions when deciding how to make their argument.
In the University I studied the very first course, for anybody wanting to study there, is about logic and epistemology. It makes wonders.
Lots of people keep asking: "what do I need it for, I just want to study X". They just don't realise how important that is.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#98In no particular order: ADHD, anxiety, a poor night's sleep, lack of interest in the topic, disdain for co-workers, TBI or concussion, low-grade fever, a hangover, tight pants, too cold, too hot, overtasked, caring for a sick or elderly family member, caring for a sick child, the list goes on and on.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#99I've found generally they do not know the answer, but are presumed to know and as a result instead of saying "I don't know" will use the points outlined to seem like they do know.
Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?
#100Here are some altruistic reasons these events might occur: > - don't directly address the point of your question / provide a much complex answer (or even worse, a non-answer) to a simple question > - don't stay focused to the point of the discussion I often dive deeper if the question itself raises suspicions that the question asker might not fully understand the topic. For example, if someone asked: "can you unbatch…
> You yourself are missing words in your communication like the word "have" in the quote above. Also, I don't know enough linguistic rules to correct you, but colloquially at least your title is better understood if you write it as "Why do some people not communicate clearly?" Thanks, corrected the mistakes. However, I wasn't referring to missing words (which can be inferred) or bad grammar. Actually I wasn't referri…
The way people communicate verbally often reflects the way they think, which differs between people. Writing forces people to structure their thoughts more.
Also, efficient communication requires knowing what your audience already knows.