Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#1

Post by throoooooowa » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:18 PM UTC

This is something that's bothering me from time to time, so I'm interested in knowing if others are struggling with it as well.

It seems to me there are some people (my experience is with SWEs but probably not limited to that) that:

- don't directly address the point of your question / provide a much complex answer (or even worse, a non-answer) to a simple question

- don't stay focused to the point of the discussion

- don't have some level of clarity in their train of thought and speech

- generally over-complicate matters by wandering off to other related subjects and extending the scope of the discussion

In such cases I find it hard to have technical discussions at the point where I'm frustrated thinking of all the pointlessly-spent energy required to have those discussions the first place.

Anyone else feeling like this at work? Why do you think this happens? Is it an intentional choice to communicate like this, is it lack of some skill (on theirs or on my part) or something else?

P.S. Apologies for this rant (that probably lacks clarity as well)

---

EDIT: Fixed title and some missing words (oh the irony).

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#2

Post by __warlord__ » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:25 PM UTC

I notice that when people don't have a clear answer to a question they will talk more than if they know the answer. To me, it seems that some people get anxious of not knowing the answer that they prefer to say something rather than nothing.

For the train of thought, this one sometimes happens to me, specially when brain-storming ideas or when I'm thinking about second or third order consequences to the "thing" we are discussing.

Also, I think may be cultural? In some countries people prefer to give more context when talking while in others they want to go to the point as soon as possible.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#3

Post by frontman1988 » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:27 PM UTC

Many reasons can be there which are probably out of there control like anxiety/adhd/autism etc.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#4

Post by sfpotter » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:33 PM UTC

You're clearly pretty annoyed by this.

Have you considered that people at work may not want to stay rigidly on target 100% of the time, and may find your hidebound need to do so bothering as well?

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#5

Post by rrwo » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:34 PM UTC

Communication is a skill, and the vast majority of people have not been trained in it.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#6

Post by what-the-grump » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:36 PM UTC

They are still faking it and haven't made it yet.

Takes about 15-30 seconds to figure out if the person you are talking to understands or is being evasive. In which case you need to adjust and put on kiddy gloves, slow down, and coax information out.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#7

Post by yamrzou » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:36 PM UTC

If You Think Straight, You Can Speak Straight [1]

“If a man writes and speaks "neatly" it is because his thinking is orderly; if his expression is forceful, the thought back of it must be forceful. But if he blunders for words, and uses phrases which express his meaning clumsily, I believe his mind is cluttered and ill-disciplined.”

[1] https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Why_I_Never_Hire_Brilliant_Me...

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#8

Post by ChuckNorris89 » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:37 PM UTC

yamrzou wrote: post #7

If You Think Straight, You Can Speak Straight [1] “If a man writes and speaks "neatly" it is because his thinking is orderly; if his expression is forceful, the thought back of it must be forceful. But if he blunders for words, and uses phrases which express his meaning clumsily, I believe his mind is cluttered and ill-disciplined.” [1] https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Why_I_Never_Hire_Brilliant_Me...

Or, you just have anxiety when being put on the spot to explain things.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#9

Post by yjftsjthsd-h » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:38 PM UTC

Clear communication requires a certain amount of skill (at communicating), and that you actually understand the thing that you're communicating. Neither of these is quite as common as one might hope.

Re: Ask HN: Why do some people not communicate clearly?

#10

Post by pevey » Fri, Nov 18, 2022, 4:38 PM UTC

Speech is a reflection of thought. If a person does not think clearly, that person cannot communicate clearly.

The opposite is often (but not always) true. If a person does not communicate clearly, it is usually because they cannot think clearly (at least about that particular topic).