21–30 of 167 posts
Tell your friends that you're there for them before shit hits the fan. Stop and take a moment - who of your friends and family do you know has your back right now? And who of your friends and family knows you have their back? If those lists aren't what they should be, NOW is the time to work on fixing that, not when all hell has broken loose.
"learn to code" but what do you (not) say to a programmer who got fired?
"Wow, that sucks. How are you holding up? Let me know if I can help, like with practice questions or whatever. If you've got time this weekend we can grab lunch." It's not perfect, but you can go a long way with something like the above: unqualified acknowledgement, interest in their well-being, offer of support with an example, and a non-pushy offer to have some company/fun/distraction. Swap in specific phrasing as…
Why would there be any grief from a layoff? It’s just a job.
Anyone in mourning because they have to job hunt probably has some bigger issues that aren’t going to be helped in any way by what friends do or do not say.
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
The detail most get confused with is these stages occur in no particular order.
Personally, I would likely jump from 2 to 3, then found a competing nonprofit firm with 9k people in the same situation, The real danger with talent layoffs is people wrongly assume every employee is replaceable, and will quietly go away without financial consequences. ;)
Good luck out there, and remember that the only difference between bums in suits and most CEOs is money (don't get upset, we all know this is true). =)
I'll mention one more thing which helps: Concrete offers of help. Depending on the circumstances, those can be practical (e.g. cooking and bringing food, covering part of funeral expenses/logistics) or supportive (e.g. making yourself available to talk through things or just be there for someone). A vague offer of help, many people will never make use of. "If there's anything I can do..." often doesn't quite signal "…
Writing a recommendation on LinkedIn, to me, seems like the most actionable thing one can do in such cases.
> “Hey, I heard about the news. I don’t have the right words and please don’t feel obligated to reply. Just know that if I can do something, big or small, now or in the future, I’m just a text away.” i like this
"Wow, that sucks. How are you holding up? Let me know if I can help, like with practice questions or whatever. If you've got time this weekend we can grab lunch." It's not perfect, but you can go a long way with something like the above: unqualified acknowledgement, interest in their well-being, offer of support with an example, and a non-pushy offer to have some company/fun/distraction. Swap in specific phrasing as…
To someone from a more collectivist culture this sounds perfectly noncommittal - a weak reed that pierces the hand of anyone who would support himself on it. What is there to be had, except lunch expenses?
The worst thing was when people would say "Did he get the vaccine?". That still makes me furious to this day. Do not politicize my father's death. Please. He's not a pawn for your agenda. The quickest way to trivialize a person's life is to turn them into a data point to support your bias. People still say that to me and it's all I can do to not punch a hole the wall every time I hear it.