Ask HN: Anyone go through Montessori education until age 12 (end of grade 6)?

I definitely think that these two things could have been identified and supported. It’s actually very interesting reading the comments here that they are pretty common experiences, and structurally that makes sense to me. I’m not sure these two things helped me develop “internal strength” as much as being supported in lots of other ways counterbalanced it.

The math learning was fine for me until about 7th grade, so you might not even encounter this. If you’re mathematically inclined and and have the resources to support, I think it’s fairly straightforward to keep an eye on how math is progressing and boost. My parents did identify that I wasn’t prepared for high school math, but didn’t follow through in ways that actually fixed the situation. They both went through pretty rigorous traditional math education, and so probably didn’t even realize this was something that could slip through. I probably would have been back on track with either of my of them sitting down to teach me algebra, or an after school program, or such. Instead what happened is I was handed an algebra textbook to work through over the summer, which honestly I half succeeded at after being in Montessori for so long, but I really needed more guidance/pacing/accountability. It kind of sucked going through high school and early college math without that foundation, I’m not sure I learned much from that struggle other than the usual “I must be naturally bad at math”.

The social transition is a harder one, and bound to happen given how differently Montessori and the generals public school system operates. I echo what the other people here are saying of making sure your kids get to socialize outside of the Montessori environment, especially practicing meeting new peers. Many of my classmates had a hard time at first and then figured it out, it took me a bit longer. I am grateful though that I managed to hold onto the “weirdness” of being curious and passionate about learning, even if it made high school hard at times.

I also don’t think being excited about learning and being well socialized are mutually exclusive! Generally my friends who did better transitioning had more social parents to model off of, or other previously Montessori students at their high school. Something that probably would have helped me is staying in regular contact with the people I went to Montessori with. Then we could navigate the change it together, even if we were all at different schools, and the social switch over wouldn’t have been so total and isolating. My younger sister had a few friends switch to the same high school together and they adapted much much faster. I wonder if parents/kids of parents who move around a lot have any advice on this?

You should write a book, it will sell

I went to a Montessori kindergarten and I'm sure to this day it must have been the best kindergarten in the world. I remember one single time that I felt uneasy there because I had to stay with another group for some time, and the lady in that group was thought to be rather strict. I did whatever I thought I was expected to do and probably didn't look too happy, for at some point she turned to me to tell me, "you don't have to do that, y'know, it's totally up to you". For a kid too shy too ask that was a great deal. It still counts in my life although it's half a century ago. Thank you Mr and Ms Montessori.

It was mostly a numbers thing. If probability of any given kid being a good match is p, I wanted a good chance of getting 3-4 good matches i.e. wanted (1-p)^(N-4) to be small, while not losing too much quality due to overpopulated class. I thought a cohort of 20 in the class year was too small. We've also had a cautionary experience with an earlier grade where too many classmates were aggressive little shits who were no fun to deal with (though with enough good eggs to counterbalance).

My wife was a Montessori 'lifer', this topic actually came up in conversation no our second date, and our child is currently the happiest Montessori pre-k kid, perhaps ever.

As others have pointed out, the Montessori program is strong, but the execution is everything.

FWIW my wife, who is in her 40s, regularly visits her Montessori campus when visiting her hometown, and is friends with several of her classmates from the time, all of whom might give you the impression that Montessori is some sort of MLM thing to judge by their unbridled enthusiasm.

EDIT - we plan to start our child in public kindergarten, because money. Tough choice, but that $12k isn't peanuts to us.