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Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#191

Post by readenough »

lostlogin wrote: post #107
jstarfish wrote: post #53

I take issue with traditional advice on the subject-- it's all self-centered. Finding MY purpose. MY life meaning. MY values. The path to getting there involves MY consumption of , acquisition of wealth, influence, or other forms of self-indulgence. Everything is about MY happiness. Consider that perhaps you don't find your "calling." Instead, it finds you. The only "trick" here is that you have to be reachable by pu…

> Volunteer work is a good start, missionary work is even better. I couldn’t disagree more with regard to missionary work. Having someone tell me why their sky friend needs to be in my life is outright offensive. I get a fair few US 20-25 year olds trying this crap out at my home in Auckland, New Zealand.

jstarfish did not say that missionary work would benefit the target audience of the missionary, and you did nothing to disabuse what he did say.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#193

Post by beardedetim »

sabertoothed wrote: post #102
beardedetim wrote: post #20

From my own search on this topic: Science can only do so much with the 'internal' meaning. All people I've read are inadequate or point to religion. Religions, across the board, sure seems to be solely focused on purpose and meaning. If you want purpose outside yourself, I'd look to a religion or a group that functions similarly. I dug Alan Watts and the like for awhile. More recently have liked St Augustine and othe…

As an atheist, I obviously disagree. Purpose and meaning have to be based in truth, scientific truth, if you will. Otherwise, you run the risk of harming someone. Dogmatic belief systems based on revelation are risky at best.

I am glad you found meaning in science and facts! Maybe I didn't read the right scientists.

I couldn't get past what Plato would call 'shadows on a cave wall' when it comes to finding 'truth' but once again, I am probably not reading the right people or the 'right works'. If you have anything you'd recommend I'd love to read it.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#194

Post by anta40 »

another_story wrote: post #83
game_the0ry wrote: post #78

In plain english, "Ikigai" is the intersection of: - what you enjoy doing - what you are good at doing - what you can get paid for doing Imagine a a circle for each of those categiries as a Venn diagram - the middle of the 3 would be "Ikigai." Try making a list of all three, then see if there is overlap.

Unfortunately, once you start getting paid, and especially if it's what you rely on to live, the joy often disappears. Not always, but it seems to be quite common.

I once read on one my social media timelines someone wrote that "pursuing your passion is a luxury".

Certainly nice to have, but just make sure you have a decent living first.

:)

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#195

Post by tim333 »

anonuser123456 wrote: post #183

"The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn't a search for meaning. It's to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll be dead." - Mr. PeanutButter

The famous people I'm fans of who are known to be happy seemed to keep themselves busy with what you could call important nonsense. I'm thinking Feynman and Buffett, respectively trying to understand the world and teach, or buying/running business, teaching, giving it all away. They still end up dead but seem to have fun along the way, and get more respect than if they were doing dumb stuff.

I think they were both happy with their stuff before getting rich/famous.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#196

Post by sbf501 »

xwowsersx wrote: post #144
sbf501 wrote: post #115

Start one level up: why do you want or need a "purpose"? Purpose/calling is meaningless IMHO. I opted for "pushing my comfort zone". Something I learned from a woman I was dating when I was 20 (she was 9 years older and entering the Peace Corp). Now rapidly reaching the other side of 50, I seek to be content and without dissonance in my day-to-day life. I have routines I enjoy, no bucket list, and time to let my mind…

Shouldn't you be posing the same question to yourself though? Why do you want or need to push your comfort zone?

Ah, excellent question!

Words are funny things, they have different meanings, and in the case of words with such broad opportunity it is my responsibility to clarify myself. That's why philosophy books always start out defining terms.

I put "purpose" and "calling" (and "mission") into a category of fixed, one-dimensional, outcomes. "My calling is thing X, that is all I do."

Same thing with "meaning". It is too big to be meaningful, ironically.

For me, what gives life value is experiencing peace of mind and detachment from suffering: it is what it is, along with novelty so that it doesn't get boring.

There is no "meaining" in there, no "purpose", no "calling", in this world-view.

I'm trying to steer OP away from a certain fixity, which in my experience (both in myself and in observing others, and in reading) only leads to more anxiety.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#197

Post by sbf501 »

devoutsalsa wrote: post #172
xwowsersx wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shouldn't you be posing the same question to yourself though? Why do you want or need to push your comfort zone?

Boredom is real. You can always decide you’ve pushed enough and slow down. But if you get lazy and lounge around for too long, you may forget how to get off your ass and do something. “Get busy living or get busy dying.” - Ellis Boyd “Red” Redding (played by Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption)

> But if you get lazy and lounge around for too long, you may forget how to get off your ass and do something.

I've had this conversation with my own therapist, and other therapists that I know over the years. It is a form of anxiety: "oh, no, I'll forget to be productive."

According to them, it is VERY common in engineers, apparently. Perhaps because of technology's rapid pace? Personally, I was able to control this little demon of a thought by looking at my entire life OUTSIDE of work, and how I simply can't stop learning: I do it constantly, I'm always picking up new things to try when I'm bored, and I revisit the same things at larger epicycles (know how many times I've picked up a big C++ project since the 90's, just for fun?)

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#198

Post by sbf501 »

hnfong wrote: post #170
xwowsersx wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Shouldn't you be posing the same question to yourself though? Why do you want or need to push your comfort zone?

Careful there, no reason to risk triggering an existential crisis on otherwise happy folks :P

I would welcome it! :P

As an aside: I'm glad I've spent years getting used to roller-coasters, because I've found aging health issues are an entirely new comfort zone challenge that I don't have control over. I've had some "prep" so to speak, but they are coming and I have to be ready to just go with the new body changes, whatever they may be.

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#199

Post by jameal »

I used to have a list of almost a dozen values that I thought were great, but weren't truly meaningful to me. I didn't fully live into them and there were too many to do that practically anyway.

At some point I came across this exercise for getting to core values which involves figuring out your "origin story". The idea is that you don't choose your values but that you recognize them. It involves reflecting back on some of your earliest, most salient memories, especially as a child. What can you learn from those memories and how have they shaped who you are today?

For me I looked back and remembered some core memories that reminded me that I've always wanted to be a helper. Somewhere along the way I became jaded and lost touch with it. Today I hold just two values as primary: Connection and Compassion. I see my purpose as to live into these as fully as I can.

(I don't remember where I found the exercise but if you search "origin story values exercise" you'll find a few variations)

Re: Ask HN: How do I find my “purpose”?

#200

Post by lcall »

I strongly agree with the importance of your question! It affects so many things, like prioritizing, finding peace etc.

I suggest A) if you are religious, to come to know God and follow His plan, and B) if not, consider working to elevate mankind by honesty, the Golden Rule, learning and service, to help by kind example and teaching and work so we all reach some better state.

I have written much more at my tech-simple web site (in profile, suggestions welcome; I also tried to write how I know what I know).

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