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Just don’t

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Re: Just don’t

#371

Post by eyelidlessness »

redhale wrote: post #368
adenozine wrote: post #360

Alternatively, if you’re not fit for work, then don’t be at work? I mean, at what point is it over the line to be useless at a job you’ve agreed to do, and that you demonstrated competence for and interviewed for? Many times I’ve said things like “just restart the cronjob for this” or “just tag this issue to so-and-so if you can’t get it, they wrote the original” etc. I’m all for taking care of yourself, but if you c…

Just don't feel alienated by articles like these.

I tried to provide a more productive response, but I’m noting for posterity that you got my upvote for succinctly demonstrating the point.

Re: Just don’t

#372

Post by eyelidlessness »

huhtenberg wrote: post #45
andsoitis wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> "have you tried..." Or: "what have you tried?"

"Everything, nothing works". Few people like being asked open-ended questions when they are irritated.

Depends on the person. I’ve found it effective to ask questions like “would it be helpful to tell me what you’ve tried? Or for me to share my intuitions about how I’d look into this?” Depending on what’s being addressed I may add something like “or is there something else you have in mind?” or even begin with “how can I be most supportive? [And it’s okay if you don’t know right now]”

Re: Just don’t

#373

Post by quickthrower2 »

adenozine wrote: post #360

Alternatively, if you’re not fit for work, then don’t be at work? I mean, at what point is it over the line to be useless at a job you’ve agreed to do, and that you demonstrated competence for and interviewed for? Many times I’ve said things like “just restart the cronjob for this” or “just tag this issue to so-and-so if you can’t get it, they wrote the original” etc. I’m all for taking care of yourself, but if you c…

It is not the word but the context. Don’t be mean to people is probably the message. And Just is a good word to be mean with! But it is also used innocently.

Re: Just don’t

#374

Post by seattle_spring »

pornel wrote: post #6

Related: if someone has a chronic condition, don't drop on them unsolicited medical advice, especially things like "have you tried yoga?", "you just need more sunshine", "you must try my cousin's healing tea!". You're not their doctor, and they haven't shared all the medical details with you. Your 3-second diagnosis is almost certainly terrible. They've heard it a dozen times already, and it's difficult and tiring to…

As a chronic pain sufferer, the quickest way for me to dismiss someone from my life is when they tell me: “You should just try marijuana,” often with some stupid and incorrect statement like, “it’s more potent than opiates!”

Just no.

Re: Just don’t

#376

Post by tyingq »

unsupp0rted wrote: post #7

I get a lot more mileage out of "have you tried..." than "why don't you just...". As a recent example, I wrote a system that auto-generates PDF packing slips from an order form, to send to a warehouse for picking and packing. Yesterday a client told me to "just make it landscape" while I was explaining why "just making it landscape" won't solve the problem of giving the warehouse whitespace to pencil stuff in, becaus…

> "just make it landscape"

Sometimes it's just worth the effort to make a mockup of that so they can see their idea doesn't work.

Re: Just don’t

#377

Post by moolcool »

adenozine wrote: post #360

Alternatively, if you’re not fit for work, then don’t be at work? I mean, at what point is it over the line to be useless at a job you’ve agreed to do, and that you demonstrated competence for and interviewed for? Many times I’ve said things like “just restart the cronjob for this” or “just tag this issue to so-and-so if you can’t get it, they wrote the original” etc. I’m all for taking care of yourself, but if you c…

I couldn't disagree more. OP is about a good way to improve your communication skills, which makes more people on the team feel included and productive. This isn't some "kids these days" culture war BS, Dale Carnaige was saying similar things back in 1936.

Re: Just don’t

#378

Post by d112575c »

vasco wrote: post #272
quelltext wrote: post #79

Not saying it's not good to learn about how "just" might be perceived or avoided but I am surprised this article is getting so much support. I feel like in the environment I'm in "just" never implied anything negative (e.g. lack of understanding on the receiver's part, making it seem like they should have considered ... but didn't, etc.), rather: - I don't yet understand why steps x, y, z are necessary. To me it woul…

Just do it is great advice and much of the people that have big problems with it should just do it. It means don't sit there thinking about how I said "just". Or how it means I think you're dumb. It means just fucking do it. Just do it. Do it. The people I've enjoyed working the most have just sat down and done it. Difficult things too. Things that took time. They just did the work. So stop thinking about the shenani…

If this is your hill, aren't you thinking about the shenanigans?

Re: Just don’t

#379

Post by scrozier »

rightbyte wrote: post #349
scrozier wrote: post #329

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Exactly. Being on the receiving end of unsolicited advice is truly annoying, which most posters here seem to be ignoring. Unsolicited advice is annoying, no matter what insincere bullsh*t you wrap it in

What is the point of discussing a problem if you don't want advice? Implicitly whining about something is like giving advice to the listener what to not do or what does not work properly etc.

1. To seek comfort from a fellow human being. 2. To vocalize it in hopes of coming up with your own solution. 3. To vent emotion; “get it off your chest.” 4. To share an aspect of your life with someone you like, love, or respect.

Re: Just don’t

#380

Post by NateEag »

vasco wrote: post #272
quelltext wrote: post #79

Not saying it's not good to learn about how "just" might be perceived or avoided but I am surprised this article is getting so much support. I feel like in the environment I'm in "just" never implied anything negative (e.g. lack of understanding on the receiver's part, making it seem like they should have considered ... but didn't, etc.), rather: - I don't yet understand why steps x, y, z are necessary. To me it woul…

Just do it is great advice and much of the people that have big problems with it should just do it. It means don't sit there thinking about how I said "just". Or how it means I think you're dumb. It means just fucking do it. Just do it. Do it. The people I've enjoyed working the most have just sat down and done it. Difficult things too. Things that took time. They just did the work. So stop thinking about the shenani…

"Just do it", as described in your post, is a great and productive attitude.

It is, however, rare that telling someone else "just do it" gives them that attitude. I have never seen it happen. I have said "just..." and seen the effect described in the article.

Asking questions, developing an understanding of what may be holding someone else back from "just doing it", then offering them any help you can provide them is much more likely to help them develop the attitude, in my experience.

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