Each stage your baby goes through goes by really quickly as they go from milestone to milestone. Take the time to experience it all, and enjoy the time they are very small, because it's just so special.
Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
41–50 of 156 posts
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#42Don't circumcise (genital mutilate) your kid if he's a boy.
Going to second this. There is absolutely no medical reason to do this, only religious dogma. You're taking away protection, some level of gratification, and a few other things.
> There is absolutely no medical reason to do this
Phimosis, Fournier's gangrene, and potentially permanent deformation of the glans.
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#43Try to be a great partner to your girlfriend! It will be a challenging and demanding time for her, so any help you can give her will be greatly appreciated.
Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#44Feed your baby on a schedule so you can get free time in predictable intervals.
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#45Make another one rather quickly. Two kids that grow together around the same age are less than double the work (feels like 20% more) but them being good friends is priceless. Furthermore you can easily find activities and plan trips for two kids around the same age but it’s quite difficult for two kids at a different age.
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#46Take lots of photos, every moment is precious. Even a few years after the photo is taken, the simplest and most innocuous photo will bring a big smile, or tear, to your face.
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#47Some practical things I’ve learned after a year: 1. Pace yourself. You’re going to want to try to do as much as you can with your newborn/infant but sometimes they’re just not ready for it. If you try to be very extra with your child on day one, you’re going to burn yourself out. A corollary is to appreciate the free time you get. 2. Children all develop in their own way so don’t freak out if your experience somethin…
Solid advice here!
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#48Being a parent can be bittersweet. Children change incredibly quickly, you are in an almost permanent state of loss for the person they were while simultaneously welcoming the person they have become.
They are a baby, or a toddler, or a five year old or a teenager once. Enjoy those times for what they are, each is different, each is hard in its own way and rewarding in its own way.
You will miss aspects of it when it’s gone. It will be gone sooner than you think.
Similarly, cherish the special occasions, there are fewer than you think. There are perhaps 8 christmases or halloweens when a child is old enough to enjoy and young enough to find them magical/fantastical in the way small kids do.
The early years are hard, but relatively simple. Things tend to get less hard and more complex as they get older. The early years are like running a marathon, later on it’s more like a never ending set of escape rooms.
Cherish them for the age they are, because they will never be that child again.
look after yourself and your partner, physically and mentally. The early years are exhausting, keep fit, eat well and get as much sleep as you can. Take any help you can get.
There is no one right way to raise your kids, get them to sleep, potty train or ween them. Be prepared to listen to or read advice, try it out and then try something else if it doesn’t work. Try and be analytical about why things do or don’t work, try and think through your child’s responses and your own behaviour.
Be the kind of person you want your kids to be. They learn more from watching you than from listening to what you tell them.
Go easy on yourselves, no one is perfect. You will get things wrong. You might get angry or say or do things you regret. But if you do, sincerely apologise. People are fallible and that’s ok and something they need to understand.
On a very practical level, get some attenuating ear plugs. The sound of a screaming baby can be mentally exhausting, especially if they won’t sooth in the early months. Earplugs will still let you hear them but you won’t be so exhausted and will have more patience. Alternatively listen to music/podcasts or watch to through headphones while soothing them, sometimes you will need to hold them in order for them to sleep.
That’s all a bit rambling, but I hope some of it helps.
Good luck to all of you
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#49All those books on parenting you have? Read them before the birth, because after it, you will have zero time and energy to do so.
And those books will be full of completely conflicting "science", large numbers of anecdotes, and almost entirely pointless.
Your child is different to any siblings, yourself, and any of the local children. People will swear blind "This is the sole way to make a child sleep", etc. At the end of the day things are so different that you need to find your own way.
Love your partner, don't drop the child on their heads, or let them fall when they're super-young and almost everything else will take care of itself.
(And when you're exhausted? The child will be safe in their cot. You can let them cry for ten minutes, alone, and it won't turn them into a serial-killer. Sometimes things are too much, and taking a step back to drink coffee, smoke on a balcony, or have a little cry is the right choice.)
Re: Ask HN: I will become a father tomorrow, what advice could you share with me?
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
Going to second this. There is absolutely no medical reason to do this, only religious dogma. You're taking away protection, some level of gratification, and a few other things.
> There is absolutely no medical reason to do this Phimosis, Fournier's gangrene, and potentially permanent deformation of the glans.
No post body was provided.