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Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#211

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

rcarr wrote: post #138

This question, posed by someone new, makes it to the front pages of this site pretty much every week nowadays. I’ve been visiting this site for years and it used to crop up once every few months or so but nothing near the frequency it does now. There is something seriously wrong with the state of the world right now. It is of no help to OP by unfortunately I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better. I was…

> This question, posed by someone new, makes it to the front pages of this site pretty much every week nowadays. I’ve been visiting this site for years and it used to crop up once every few months or so but nothing near the frequency it does now. There is something seriously wrong with the state of the world right now.

I wish I could post on my main account, but I can't have this associated with my real identity sadly. I've noticed the same, but never thought I would be posting one of those threads. It's been helpful reading people's replies and has given me a bit of hope I didn't have this morning.

>It may mean doing something you never thought of doing and moving somewhere you never saw yourself moving a few years ago

I think this is likely. I've been in contact with an org that wants to hire me, but the logistics are complicated because they're extremely remote. They aren't even sure if it'll be possible to hire me, but if it is I might just go for it.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#212

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

carbine wrote: post #194

So much good advice here. Just want to say as someone who has gone through this, burnout takes so much longer to recover from than you think. The sooner you make changes to start to address it, the sooner you'll get through to the other side. Don't waste any time waiting to take action, your wellbeing is the most important thing. And be patient and kind with yourself, it can be a long journey with ups and downs, but…

Thanks ;)

There is a lot of good advise here, more than I ever thought I would get. It's made my day a little brighter.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#213

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

cjbgkagh wrote: post #130

A lot of burnout is actually ME/CFS and now possibly Long Covid. ADHD people are more likely to burn out due to shared genetic causes like hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (hEDS). hEDS is vastly more common than doctors think it is by 100x - so it’s very difficult to get diagnosed. The more common subvariants of hEDS are not even all that hypermobile. This isn’t to say you have hEDS just given ADHS+burnout+reading…

Thankfully I can be confident it's not COVID of any particular length. I have never caught COVID at any point and I actually have the data to back up the claim unlike most people which is helpful since I can rule it out.

I'd never heard of the rest of this, but it's quite interesting.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#214

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

wnolens wrote: post #139

Many of us have been here. You accelerated your life in a few ways - financially and career experience - compared to most people. There's a tax to pay. Some are good at paying it inline with work by having healthy workout routines, loving relationships, a higher purpose to suffer for. But a lot of us "burn out" and pay that tax afterwards. It sucks, I'm sorry. I took 6 months off, and wasn't ready to come back but ju…

> What is the source of my confidence if not in work?

Your whole comment is great, but this stuck out. My job is my self confidence and it is my self worth, without it I lose those things and I've been struggling with this massively throughout this entire process.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#215

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

ilc wrote: post #160

There's alot to untangle here. But a few notes for op: 1. Being burned out happens, as does being in a bad situation. Rarely does it get as bad as you say without there being other factors that make it bad. (Misfit, bad management, boredom, etc...) 2. If you are fresh out of college, yes, working is a very different thing than college. College is a sprint. Working is a marathon. You can't approach the two the same. T…

1) I am the misfit at work, I've been one my entire life. I've always been the "odd person". I really try my best on this front, but it's worse with WFH. In office people found me kind of funny and enjoyed having me around, WFH though? I disappear and get forgotten about.

2) College for me was a decade ago. I've had probably three or four full time jobs since that point, one absolutely amazing one was over half that time.

3) You're right on both fronts.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#216

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

zmaurelius wrote: post #99

> I'm not well off like most people on here, I can survive 4-6 months with no salary For a more extended break, you can stretch that out by going somewhere much cheaper and living like a digital nomad. Consider places like Kuala Lumpur, Manila and Taipei since you can live there for a few years on your current savings. If those places aren't your cup of tea, then check out https://nomadlist.com/

Nah, this isn't possible. My ability to afford that time is due to having a mortgage and being in a low COL location. Going somewhere else while cool, would actually reduce my total time because my base costs are fixed and not optional, unlike if I was a renter.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#217

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

pmoriarty wrote: post #121

I would consider a career change to something you're more suitable for... hopefully something less stressful too. But don't wait too long. Being out of work for an extended period of time makes it psychologically difficult to find work again, and extended periods of not working makes most employers wary of hiring you. So the longer you're out of work, the harder it'll be for you to find work. Even if your next job is…

The frustrating thing is I have excelled in this career before. My second last job was really amazing and I made real, valuable contributions. I stayed with them for years, it was a match made in heaven that I'm starting to think I won't find again.

I am definitely scared of the optics of a long break. At least with the medical leave I was still technically employed during that time. I will probably only take a gap if I really truly have no choice, it'd be better to switch into anything else.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#218

Post by ThrowAway1922A »

outworlder wrote: post #157

I hear you. I have been able to skirt the burnout line and still remain _somewhat_ effective. Given that I'm still(for the time being at least) far more productive than my peers it doesn't show. However, I know what I'm actually capable off and I can tell I'm in a "degraded" state. So, I can relate. Burnout, as I understand it, is a mismatch between your environment and yourself. Like you said, the work is completely…

> One of the hallmarks of ADHD is executive function issues. Can you start tasks fine?

No, I absolutely can not start tasks fine. Starting them is the hardest part of doing them and it has been an issue my entire life. It has made my life more difficult than it needs to be.

> One already has issues starting tasks even during "normal" times, now they are burned out, which even for a neurotypical brain makes them unable to start any tasks.

This is where I am. I can not start the most simple of tasks at work at this point. A simple text change in a UI? That might as well be sized for a whole sprint right now, much less significant API changes.

> Since you said "psychologists", plural, I'm thinking you got multiple ADHD diagnosis from more than one doctor.

The plural was a mistake, my apologies.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#219

Post by ornornor »

starfleet_bop wrote: post #198
ornornor wrote: post #186

You have to quit or be fired. Right now. I was in your situation year ago, three years of agony at a mediocre toxic corporate company where our team was responsible for all the problems but were given no time or resources at all to actually fix the root cause. Only firefighting was allowed. I was on medical leave, went back, and eventually was offered to quit without serving my notice period (so 4 months paid without…

If you’re still sick you should go back on sick leave. Don’t let an employer fire you for a situation they created.

Why not? They contributed to the situation, they can also contribute to the subsequent burden.

And if your benefits depend on getting laid off rather than quit, it’s the right thing to do. The corporation gives no fucks about you, it’s not like your sepuku will save your honor or anything. Besides, they might actually be happy to lay you off and get rid of you rather than have you agonize because you won’t quit.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#220

Post by ornornor »

ThrowAway1922A wrote: post #210
ornornor wrote: post #186

You have to quit or be fired. Right now. I was in your situation year ago, three years of agony at a mediocre toxic corporate company where our team was responsible for all the problems but were given no time or resources at all to actually fix the root cause. Only firefighting was allowed. I was on medical leave, went back, and eventually was offered to quit without serving my notice period (so 4 months paid without…

> Sick leave while still employed at the company doesn’t let you free yourself from all the pain because you’ll have to go back eventually. I've not seen anyone put this into words, but yes, absolutely this. The entire time I was out I knew in the back on my mind I was going to have to go back sooner or later. In the few days leading up to going back I was physically ill. The other thing that sucks is I knew I should…

I know how much it’s sucks, I wish you the best. And remember that only time will heal you. It can take a long time but you’ll recover. Also remember that it’s the result of a shitty and/or todos and/or mismatched work environment, not of any weakness on your part. Knowing this really helped me.

Another thing I forgot to add: if you’re not keen on paychoactives, CBD works well to help me relax. I never used any drugs until this happened to me but (in moderation) it was remedially helpful to cope and move forward.

You don’t even have to smoke it and damage your lungs. I got a German made vaporizer (wasn’t cheap, got it used) which only heats the weee or CBD to 200C. It’s enough to vaporize the cbd and thc but you get none of the tar and other nasty stuff from combustion.

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