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Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#181

Post by random_kris »

ThrowAway1922A wrote: post #104
didgetmaster wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even if your employer 'had no say in the matter', it is still generous. Somebody had to pay for that medical leave whether it came out of the profits of the company you work for, their insurance company (which leads to higher premiums for everyone), or came out of the taxpayer's pocket. It sounds like you could benefit from a completely different environment. If you can't find any joy working in your chosen field, it…

I don't consider it generous, it's a basic right of workers that anyone in my country is entitled to should they need it. It's part of the social safety net and every worker pays into it should they need it. I felt extremely guilty having to use it myself and beat myself up for it so much early on, but in the end it was the right thing to do. > If you can't find any joy working in your chosen field, it might be time…

On one hand you don't consider is generous On other hand you feel guilty about it. I think you should make up your mind. Maybe the burnout will also go away then

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#182

Post by hirvi74 »

papascrubs wrote: post #29

If you're seeking care, this can also keep you from being fired (at least in the US/some countries). Most corporations have an employee counseling hotline that you can engage with that can help with this. Not that you want/plan to stay there. But that corp helped contribute to your condition-- they can help foot the bill. Don't put this all on yourself (but also don't put it all on others). I was diagnosed at 32. Ext…

How can therapy help for ADHD? In perhaps in other words, how has it specifically helped you? I have been recommended to try it, but based on past experiences, I find the whole process to be somewhat cathartic but otherwise of little value or utility.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#183

Post by 1dry »

> I'm honestly not sure if I'm capable of working in tech anymore at this point and that's doing quite a number of any selfesteem I had.

You know, as Mr. Rogers said, "Not your toys, they're just beside you, but it's you I like" Your value isn't dependent on being able to work in tech or what you have. Go out, grab a coffee, wonder at the autumn leaves, do something nice for someone, see where that leads.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#184

Post by r00t4ccess »

ThrowAway1922A wrote: post #173
TrueGeek wrote: post #56

> I'm not well off like most people on here, I can survive 4-6 months with no salary Be careful of comparing yourself to what people post online. It's easy to read social media and think everyone else is waking up at 5am, drinking their keto coffee, and making millions with their startup while working as a digital nomad. Even on a tech heavy site like HN I would classify someone with 6 months of savings as very well…

> Even on a tech heavy site like HN I would classify someone with 6 months of savings as very well off. I'm under the impression most on here make hundreds of thousands of dollars, I make nowhere close. I am saved on this front purely by living in a very low cost of living area. You're right though, comparison with people online is probably just a recipe to feel bad.

Making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year doesn’t make you rich, history shows that people who make more than average amounts of money have a hard time retaining meaningful amounts of it. Making a lot of money doesn’t automatically make you good with money.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#185

Post by Overtonwindow »

unethical_ban wrote: post #88
Overtonwindow wrote: post #19

Rather than ADHD, have you considered severe anxiety? I had a serious problem of not being able to start and complete basic tasks because I was so filled with anxiety about, well everything, that I was self-defeating. What so you do instead of completing tasks? Is it just a wall preventing you from completing tasks, or do you get distracted by other things? I have ADHD and it’s been a lifelong struggle, however, as I…

That sounds like me to a T. When I don't have pressure from people I am so relaxed. But right now my brain is exploding because I have three different groups of people asking me to do things for them, and even though I know most of the answers I feel like a bowling ball is on my head. Adderall doesn't help consistently. I have a good paying job and a stock vesting schedule for another 2.5 years worth almost 100k on t…

What helped my anxiety immeasurably was marijuana, but too inconsistent. Citalopram really helped get my anxiety under control, but medication isn’t for everyone. Adderall made it much worse. In fact, in my humble opinion, Adderall is one of the worst drugs. It’s a false prophet.

The dam breaking on my recovery from severe anxiety really began with depression.

I underwent ketamine nasal spray therapy and it completely removed my depression, and that allowed me to focus 100% on my anxiety.

Things are much better today

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#186

Post by ornornor »

You have to quit or be fired. Right now.

I was in your situation year ago, three years of agony at a mediocre toxic corporate company where our team was responsible for all the problems but were given no time or resources at all to actually fix the root cause. Only firefighting was allowed.

I was on medical leave, went back, and eventually was offered to quit without serving my notice period (so 4 months paid without working).

It’s been a year since and I didn’t touch a computer for 10 months. I was feeling like shit and really needed the time to recover. I’m still not recovered but much better. I’ve been seeing a therapist to deal with the aftermath for 18 months. It helped. Magic mushrooms and weed also help me putting things in perspective and understanding that it was a failure of that company, not of me.

Burn-out especially when ignored for so long is no joke. I know it feels silly/cowardly/scary to be unemployed, but you really have to get out. Sick leave while still employed at the company doesn’t let you free yourself from all the pain because you’ll have to go back eventually.

I’m lucky that where I live you get employment insurance even if you quit. But if that’s not an option in your country then let them fire you. They created the problem so fuck them. It’s not like you were going to get a good reference from that place anyway.

I would also recommend reading the post on common cog about burnout. It’s well written and instructive.

Bottom line is the longer you stay the worst it’ll get. Only time can heal you (several months, like 12–24) but you’ll get better. It’s just a matter of leaving that toxic place and waiting.

Good luck. It should be criminal to put people in these situations rather than just “cost of doing business” for employers.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#187

Post by knaekhoved »

layer8 wrote: post #177
knaekhoved wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered that overeating is possibly exacerbating your issues? I had serious brain fog/energy issues until I stopped being overweight.

I don’t think they’re overeating voluntarily. It’s often a vicious cycle.

For sure, but the point is that breaking that cycle is sometimes the single most important thing to focus on.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#188

Post by badpun »

Existenceblinks wrote: post #120
badpun wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Travelling is a lot of fun and makes you realize that life is short and that you should make the most of it. I never got what was so great about travelling. Whenever I tried doing it, I was almost immediately bored and lonely. It proabably works much better for extraverts.

Yep, I learnt nothing internally rather than oh nice view, strange place, different way of [people] doing things. It doesn't change me even a bit. People claim that they become a better person. I think at least 50% of them were bullshiting.

I suspect six months of working in a blue-collar job (say, construction) in an area of the country you're not familiar with would be much more enriching than 6 months of traveling in SE Asia, at least for college-educated young people.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#189

Post by type-r »

r00t4ccess wrote: post #184
ThrowAway1922A wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Even on a tech heavy site like HN I would classify someone with 6 months of savings as very well off. I'm under the impression most on here make hundreds of thousands of dollars, I make nowhere close. I am saved on this front purely by living in a very low cost of living area. You're right though, comparison with people online is probably just a recipe to feel bad.

Making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year doesn’t make you rich, history shows that people who make more than average amounts of money have a hard time retaining meaningful amounts of it. Making a lot of money doesn’t automatically make you good with money.

> people who make more than average amounts of money have a hard time retaining meaningful amounts of it

Do you have a source for this? This conflicts with the data that I've seen: https://www.financialsamurai.com/the-average-savings-rates-b...

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#190

Post by bayesian_horse »

ThrowAway1922A wrote: post #66
bayesian_horse wrote: post #47

Burnout checklist: Confirm you have/don't have ADHD. Confirm you have/don't really have a major depressive episode. Somehow "burnout" is a more acceptable label than major depression. Because it's supposed to come from having worked too much. But as far as I can see burnout and major depressive episodes are hard to distinguish just from the symptoms. Prognosis and treatment are different. You may not need multiple mo…

I've had doctors treat me for depression in the past, but the drugs/treatments never did anything for me and I really don't think I'm depressed. My mood is generally fine and when I'm doing something I'm interested in, or spending time with family I'm really happy. I don't have the typical lows one would associate with depression and I have tons of motivation and energy to do things. Once I manage to take the first s…

There are quite clear diagnostic guidelines for both depression and ADHD. Causes and biological underpinnings may not be clear, but diagnosis of the condition really is no mystery.
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