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Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#151
post #3

this happened to me 10 years ago and there is basically no way back

I'm finding ways back but started to realize this .. it's probably one-way ticket. I think we can't fix it but we may be able to put in more good things to have better ratio.

>I'm finding ways back but started to realize this .. it's probably one-way ticket.

When I ask myself the question about when I'll get back to the way I was, I also have to ask "Does that include being that person that let myself get burned out so badly in the first place?"

What I'm slowly getting back to is a different person than who I was. I have different priorities about how/where to apply and manage my curiosity and energy. If I can accept the person I'm turning into, then I feel like I'll be back one day.

If I want to be the person I was a decade ago who naively worked like a donkey until I burned out, then yes, I'm never coming back.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#152
Like with most things we want to change this is a math problem. There are things you need to subtract from your life to give you more time or clarity of mind. Once your mind is clear you can then slowly start to add things that you find interesting or enjoy working on. If you find yourself still burned out, repeat the above process until you've found a balance.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#153
I went through something pretty similar about four years ago. It was incredibly tough, but I was able to pull out of it and am more resilient now. It took me a few months to sort it all out, which I did mostly by writing. In the short term though, I relied heavily on my dad and my wife to help talk things through. If you have anyone close you can talk with, that's the best thing to do. I also got a prescription for Xanax, which I took every couple of days when I was feeling rough. After a few weeks of that I stopped taking them, but felt comforted knowing they were there in my drawer if I started spiraling down again. I did end up publishing the stuff I wrote during that time, and am happy to send you a copy if you're interested at all. I'm at quirk@cardinalspirits.com and the book is here. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B092WWNYQC/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_2P...

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#154
Hello! I hope you feel better soon! Burnout is hard to recover from - still trying to fully recover myself too.

I made a post and asked the community a similar question a little while ago, if you'd like to take a look at more tips and tricks people shared then too.

Link: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29754211

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#156

> I'm not well off like most people on here, I can survive 4-6 months with no salary Be careful of comparing yourself to what people post online. It's easy to read social media and think everyone else is waking up at 5am, drinking their keto coffee, and making millions with their startup while working as a digital nomad. Even on a tech heavy site like HN I would classify someone with 6 months of savings as very well…

Yeah HN is a bubble within the tech bubble and there seems to be a vocal minority here that derives pleasure for putting others down for making less than 250k TC.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#157
I hear you.

I have been able to skirt the burnout line and still remain _somewhat_ effective. Given that I'm still(for the time being at least) far more productive than my peers it doesn't show. However, I know what I'm actually capable off and I can tell I'm in a "degraded" state. So, I can relate.

Burnout, as I understand it, is a mismatch between your environment and yourself. Like you said, the work is completely unsuited to you. Your brain knows this and is throwing a fit so you will listen.

The way I've been able to skirt the line is this. I know that my problem is that at my job we are chock full of execs that are just trying to justify their own existence and love their voice and very little gets done anymore without a whole lot of pointless meetings. So, given that I can't really _do_ something meaningful anymore(at least not in a reasonable amount of time), I focus outside of work on things that I can actually do. I have a very long list of personal projects and I've been knocking them off my list with unprecedented speed. This has helped me feel _some_ sense of accomplishment, and has staved off the worst effects. For now.

So, if you want a short-term "fix" that may help you get some energy back, figure out what it is that you hate about your environment and see if you can refocus that elsewhere. Easier said than done, it took me some time to figure out that I missed just being able to do things.

That will not help you long term. If what you have truly is burnout, it will not change until your environment changes. In this case, your job. And I'm not necessarily talking about the company either. If you don't like what you do, doing the same thing in another environment will not help.

Now, all of the above assumes you really have burnout. If you do not, what you need will be completely different.

ADHD is not often diagnosed in adults. It doesn't mean it cannot be diagnosed, just that most diagnoses happen in children/teens. Adults that are high functioning will have coping mechanisms for untreated ADHD, some of these may be really unhealthy. One of the hallmarks of ADHD is executive function issues. Can you start tasks fine? Because if the problem that keeps you from finishing tasks at work is that you can't even bring yourself to begin working on them, that could be ADHD. And you can have burnout simultaneously. ADHD + burnout is an explosive combination. One already has issues starting tasks even during "normal" times, now they are burned out, which even for a neurotypical brain makes them unable to start any tasks.

Since you said "psychologists", plural, I'm thinking you got multiple ADHD diagnosis from more than one doctor. So I would start listening to that if I were you :) You can ask for differential diagnosis, as there are some issues that look like ADHD but are different. It could be "just" burnout, but you won't really know unless you change your working environment. If it is ADHD, you get medicated, and now things improve, it's a pretty good indication that you didn't have a neurotypical brain your entire life. You can still be burned out, in which case it means the coping mechanisms you developed for ADHD got overwhelmed.

Also, do not forget the basics. Your body must be healthy - do a checkup if you haven't done one in a while(that includes dental and vision). Get some exercise, don't have to be strenuous, just keep your body working. Get plenty of sunlight. Make sure you are sleeping well. And eat healthy. Lose weight if you are overweight (that's actually important for mental health, related to hormones and inflammation). None of that will fix your issues, but if you don't even have that covered, you will have a much harder time making any progress.

... I apologize for typing too much. I'm currently struggling myself and I have had plenty of time to think and research it. I know what I must do (get a new job). Having the energy to do some leetcode after work is a different matter.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#158
post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm finding ways back but started to realize this .. it's probably one-way ticket. I think we can't fix it but we may be able to put in more good things to have better ratio.

>I'm finding ways back but started to realize this .. it's probably one-way ticket. When I ask myself the question about when I'll get back to the way I was, I also have to ask "Does that include being that person that let myself get burned out so badly in the first place?" What I'm slowly getting back to is a different person than who I was. I have different priorities about how/where to apply and manage my curiosit…

Yeah. Time travel lesson, as a present self if you see your future self show up, something terrible might already happen! "Why are you here, you did something wrong?"

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#160
There's alot to untangle here. But a few notes for op:

1. Being burned out happens, as does being in a bad situation. Rarely does it get as bad as you say without there being other factors that make it bad. (Misfit, bad management, boredom, etc...)

2. If you are fresh out of college, yes, working is a very different thing than college. College is a sprint. Working is a marathon. You can't approach the two the same. There's a reason why people work only 40hrs a week or so... Doing more can be actively counterproductive.

3. If you did what you said on your break... you didn't take a break. And simply knowing you have to return to a work environment you don't like can ruin any vacation.

4. In the end, burnout is hard. The key is to forgive yourself, and the people around you... rest, and be ready to go again, wiser this time.

5. Your future is up to you. But, if you want to be in tech, realize as you go on in tech, as in all industries... it isn't about tech, it is about people.

If I can be of assistance to you. Ping me. I've been through where you are... and recovered.

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