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Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same. Also several months of medical leave for burnout sounds very generous.

It's a government thing, my workplace had no say in the matter as long as my GP said I needed it.

Even if your employer 'had no say in the matter', it is still generous. Somebody had to pay for that medical leave whether it came out of the profits of the company you work for, their insurance company (which leads to higher premiums for everyone), or came out of the taxpayer's pocket.

It sounds like you could benefit from a completely different environment. If you can't find any joy working in your chosen field, it might be time to explore a completely different field. Many people have switched careers because of this.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#84

I feel you. As many here I failed to recognize burnout early enough to prevent total exhaustion. My experience (not a doc) is medication won’t help and ADHD seems to be a stereotypical American fixation almost like tomato sauce for us Italians. Call it for what it is and don’t blame yourself. The cure for burnout is change. Distance yourself from the source of discomfort, lay bricks or bag groceries for at least thre…

To counter this, medication has helped me a lot, and I am able to get work done thanks to it.

Edo, what was it? For burnout or ADHD?

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#85
You mentioned GP, which implies you're in UK or Australia etc. There are likely lots of protections for employees, you can ask for stress leave - talk to the doctor about it. My friend was 6 months off full pay.

The other advice is make sure its not just you putting yourself under pressure. I think many of us were at school/uni always expected to dedicate your life to your education. When working its difficult to stop and try to get some balance, you have to learn this. Your boss likely doesn't expect you to do as much as you think.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#86

I'm going through this right now. I agree with others in that you should look more into ADHD, but it likely won't solve this burnout specifically (but it may help you avoid it in the future). I gave this a listen yesterday: https://youtu.be/gRPBkCW0R5E Burnout is usually a result of the workplace environment, but it can cause you to experience effects that last even when the job is gone, namely depression. I submitte…

I gave my three week notice and went on a two week trip to Portugal. In fact I’m writing this at the Lisbon airport on my way back home.

Having been at the same job for eighteen years I felt it was time. I don’t know if it was a burn out but maybe it was. Almost everybody at work was surprised.l though. Boss suggested I take leave of absence. I said no because I know I’m not coming back. For me, things at work changed so much in the past two years that it was not the job I signed for or career progression I wanted. Also so many of my coworkers I cared for had left for other jobs.

My dilemma now is I don’t know what I want to do next. A few folks reached out offering me a job. But it would be similar to what I’d been doing but at different yet similar sized companies.

So while taking time off was great i still have homework to do.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#87

Your reaction sounds reasonable to the BS corporate world. It's the agile coaches out there planning more meetings that need a psychologist. Changing job may have a temporary positive effect, it lasts roughly 6 months for me. Do the absolute minimum at any job you need to so you don't starve. Don't try to makes sense of it. It is indeed BS and you shouldn't care. Don't care. Meanwhile, try to figure out an exit strat…

If meetings stress you out I'd say that's on you or maybe the people at those meetings. Not that meetings are necessarily productive, but just sitting in a chair shouldn't really be that stressful. If it is, some therapy may be in order?

A sane person would grow frantic at the idea of their life draining away as they wake up every morning to do something that they don't care about, is of no benefit to anyone, and perhaps it would be better if it wasn't being done at all, and is performed solely to fulfil one's basic survival needs. At least when you aren't at the meeting, you don't need to pretend that this is a reasonable, decent, or sane state of affairs.

Sorry, wrong group, that's the one down by the docks later tonight :)

Yeah, can probably just find a different company, or line of work.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#88

Rather than ADHD, have you considered severe anxiety? I had a serious problem of not being able to start and complete basic tasks because I was so filled with anxiety about, well everything, that I was self-defeating. What so you do instead of completing tasks? Is it just a wall preventing you from completing tasks, or do you get distracted by other things? I have ADHD and it’s been a lifelong struggle, however, as I…

That sounds like me to a T. When I don't have pressure from people I am so relaxed. But right now my brain is exploding because I have three different groups of people asking me to do things for them, and even though I know most of the answers I feel like a bowling ball is on my head.

Adderall doesn't help consistently.

I have a good paying job and a stock vesting schedule for another 2.5 years worth almost 100k on top of salary and I'm still thinking "what if I just quit today?"

I am so stressed. And every time I take even one workday off, when I am free to do whatever I feel like and not care about work or even other people, it's magical.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#89
post #75

I can't tell you it's all gonna be okay because I don't know that it will, but I do know that you should go fishing, because for that moment of clarity and relaxation, what does matter to you will become clear.

This is legitimately good advice. I like fishing because it is _just_ mentally occupying enough that I can actually stop thinking about life for a few hours. If I just go on a hike, I'll enjoy nature, I'll benefit, I'll chill a bit, but I can very easily just ruminate on things while I walk.

But when I'm fishing, I'm not stressing about anything, but just pleasantly occupied thinking "should I try a different lure? should I move or keep trying this spot? should I adjust my retrieve?" and all of a sudden I've spent 4 hours in nature.

Sometimes I even catch a fish or two!

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with burnout and its consequences?

#90
I've been there. After almost three years of very intense work. I was the technical leader in a team with, at that time, not very experienced people. We had to do a huge migration of one of the most important projects of the company. I had to work very hard: 9:00 to 21:00, weekends, crazy on-calls, refactoring tons of crap by myself, fighting with the management which, at the beginning, had a very authoritative attitude towards anything that wasn't strictly lift and shift the pile of utter garbage we had in the first place as they were not the ones suffering it, arguments and what not. I had success, got promoted, got the respect from everyone, salary raise etc you name it. Covid hit and the state of the world + working from home (which I personally dislike)...I suddenly started to feel like my brain wasn't working. Got stressed and mentally blocked by literally any slight sign of effort. What is happening? I asked myself. Am I getting old? Perhaps I hit many times my head when doing impact sports when I was younger (real thoughts I had BTW). I wrongly assumed it was just due to boredom. I requested a change to a different team that worked in an area I was more interested. Same crap, tons of garbage, even more crazy on calls, some people expecting me to pull the rabbit from my hat again...no freaking way. Then I quit the company and moved to a new one. In the new place, despite I was earning a huge amount of money in comparison, suffered from the same. Apart from that new place being an absolute sad joke, brain blocked, which triggered insecurities, which triggered a feeling of impostor syndrome etc. I left that company, took a month off and started into a different company, this time in an architect role (no on calls, design and planning focussed etc). Still feeling the burn out reminiscences but slightly better.

I am still on my way to be fully recovered (assuming one day it will eventually happen). Things I recommend:

1. Find another thing other than work and, I insistently suggest, other than even CS, that you might enjoy. In my case, climbing. It keeps me healthy, focussed and relaxed. It gives me self confidence as I see I accomplish new challenges and I progress. Also, it has helped me to improve my social skills and to appreciate and enjoy interaction with people with different interests other than computers. Computer Science is not everything.

2. Change your area. Nowadays, I simply refuse to fall back again into that "reactive-devops-trenches-wake-up-at-4:00am-and-follow-this-runbook" or "refactor-this-crap-and-fight-the-folklore". Life is short and health goes first.

3. Assume work does not define you. Do your job the best you can but remember, you are not gonna inherit the company. Become cynical but not toxic.

4. Have compassion for yourself. What you feel is completely normal. You are not weak. You simply got wasted by an industry that is mainly, IMHO a utter shitshow in 99% of the cases. Allow yourself to suffer.

Anyways, I wish you the best and really hope you recover.

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